Category: Life

‘Team’ work

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I always thought there was.

I am currently taking part in 3 different projects, where in taking part in a team was essential. Because I have not organised any of these projects, there are obviously people taking part that I don’t know. Something I am fine with. I like getting the opertunity to meet new people, and get to know them. To be honest, it is one of the wonders of the internet. It brings people together.

The issue is, when you get involved in some kind of group project, you have to appreciate other people’s opinions and learn to work together. But there is always something that gets in the way. Usually it involves people trying to force their point of view across. I am a compromising person,  but it gets to the point where rather than the group being a collaboration, someone wants to be boss.

Usually ideas are fine, but it is when these ideas transform into changes. Changes that were never mentioned previously before the project started, but have suddenly became the main agenda, and causes a rift between the team members. People feel a bit taken-aback by how the original plan seems to be changing, that things are being taken over. They feel threatened, because this is no longer a bit of fun. Changes are ‘proposed’ and people feel out of place. Something that has started as a friendly project to bring people together, has become formal. As if it is a competition to push the project quicker than all the team members are ready for.

And if you feel it is like someone is making a change, and rushing ahead, is it right to put your feet down? Surely, that is why things are discussed. So that people can talk about things. And if someone is harsh, and gets a harsh reaction, who is in the wrong? Is anyone? As long as they can understand each others point of view, should there be any animosity? To make a change to original plans, all team members should be agreed on a particular idea.  And if someone percieves your idea as wrong, don’t run off scared when someone does oppose it. It’s give and take.

—

And that’s off my chest. 🙂 I always seem to encounter the same issues when I work in groups. Maybe I am just not fit for working in a team. -.- Has anyone encountered any issues when working with other people? What would be your advice on dealing with it?

 

Stuck In My Head

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Usually when something irritates me, or I want to ‘talk it out’, I post a blog on it. It allows me the freedom to say what I need to say, and then people can comment on it. It seems really methodical to me. It’s like, ‘I say what I say, and you can say what you think about what I said’. It is one of the few outlets where a person can express things without interruption. And doing it on something like a blog, enables people to read through your varying opinions, and get a good idea of what you are like as a person.

However, what happens when you don’t know how to say what is on your mind? If everything you type up becomes just a ‘hash-bash’ collection of words and, ill thought out, phrases. That is something I have been going through at the moment. There is no slow down of the thought processes and opinions, I just don’t seem to be able to write things the way I intend to. Which is irritating.

Over time, I have learnt that the best way to deal with any creative block, is to ride it out. Is to keep to returning to what you are struggling with, and eventually you will get progress. This is what I am doing now. Everything I have written lately seemed so bad. I just haven’t been able to put what is in my head, into words. And when you lose that ability, it becomes almost a burden, even moreso when you use it as a method of expression. It is like someone has locked you in a room, and have given you the wrong key to get out.You start off, with so much hope, but you just stall to a stop, when it doesn’t work.

I suppose that is something that anyone experiences. It can happen with work, with school, with anything. You just hit some kind of mental brick wall, and you can’t get any further. I guess, the thing to remember is that every brick must fall, someday. So keep on trying, and you will get there. Just don’t get to disheartened.

Return To Normality

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

This is where I am going to pretend that I have had a life away from the computer, long enough to get behind on blogs and everything… but it would be lies. Well, not complete lies, but maybe more an exaggeration. I have spent my time off work concentrating on myself, and just off-lining a bit. I say a bit, because I was on Tumblr and Twitter still, I just didn’t update everything.

Which is unusual for me, I usually at least keep my blogs updated, but I just haven’t been on top of things. Mostly because I haven’t been wanting to write anything substantial. So I can post bits and bobs on my Tumblr, and the other blog sites get ignored. Which is not my intention.

Anyway, I am back at work tonight, so that means that I am trying to get myself back into some sort of routine, where I can update things again and such. I am always so re-energised after a holiday, so I am making the best of it, by motivating myself to do things. And those things include hitting property and job websites. I need a full time job, and a place to live. Or at least I can keep an eye on price from afar. Which leads to some progress in the situation, which makes me happy.  So as long as I keep momentum up, things may be a-changing soon.

Very Boring

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Do I seem interesting?

With the immense time I put in to being an internet addict, probably not. Well, a little lie there, I actually find myself very interesting. I love my patterns of reading, blogging and TV. I say TV, because now my Sky+ is working properly mixed with Sky working on Xbox again, I have started watching a lot of TV. Most of it is The Gilmore Girls, but still, good quality, healthy TV.

The TV shows I like have to have good dialog and well written and developed characters. I like the fact that you can judge a character, because you have come to know their personality. I think it comes from a life a bookworm, where I did nothing but read for days on end. Not much has changed really, accept now, I tend to use writing to express myself more. It seems rather logical putting my loves for reading and writing together, but it didn’t happen that naturally. I liked to do things on my own, and write because I wanted to. When school became about essays and exams, it stopped being about writing for fun. It started to have a purpose. A purpose which was that I was writing for a meaningless grade.

That sounds bad. Grades aren’t meaningless. But I put a lot of love into what I wrote, and I didn’t like that it was graded and treating like a piece of crap, where all the feeling was sucked out of any piece, just so that the flaws (mostly in grammar) could be picked at. It was a bit of a change in things. Writing at school, became less a labour of love, and more a dementor. (5 points for HP reference.) And it made me think, ‘why’. Why did I have to put so much of ‘me’ into things, just for it to be torn to shreds because of my technical ability.

Through writing on my own, on blogs, etc, I have bettered myself in my grammar. I have become a better writer, but that is through reading a lot of novels, and writing a lot of pieces on other sites. Writing blogs has helped me a lot, in being an aide to help me find the words I need to express myself. The fact that I can put my thoughts across, and do it in such a way (I hope) people can pick up on what I am like, and how I feel. And that is a spiritual thing. The fact that you can connect to so many people, where age and country bare no significance.

Some say I am boring, and lead a boring life. I ask them, what do you do that gives you passion? What do you do, that makes you happy to be alive? What do you do to communicate with like-minded individuals? The internet helps me achieve all that and more, people only mock because they don’t know how to do what you do.

At an intersection.

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Now, as an individual blogger, I have always prefered WordPress, because I find it a really easy service to use. But now, due to a collab blog I am taking part in, Blogger was the easiest service to do that task. And I am left with two blogs one here and one on blogger, which I want to keep, but don’t want to have the same things on.

-.-

And because I have posted personal things on them both, I can’t face deleting either. Which leaves me with a dilemma. Or not, I mean I could just run them both, and copy posts across if I can’t be bothered writing two posts one day. I don’t even know why I have two for the same purpose. Actually, it was because the college decided the groups on blogger were great and everyone had to join. So I started up a Riot Graphics blog over there too, and it is still there.

Know what? That blog can be there, but I am still using this as my main one. I love WordPress too much just to stop it. Blogging is my passion, leave me alone. *sulks in corner*

Seriously, maybe

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I have a lack of understanding when it comes to being definate on something. It is not that I am a liar or anything, it is just that when it comes down to it, I hate setting something in stone. Maybe it’s because I am indecisive. I just know I am one for changing plans and ideas, and the thought of not being able to change things, kind of freaks me out.

No kidding. I have seen myself get in a panic about not having enough time to do something, and that something is rather remedial and not so important. I just irrationalise beyond the point of no return. Not something uncommon, I know. But I wish sometimes the dormant sensible side of my brain would actually do something for a change. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being impulsive and crazy sometimes, but when that is all you are, it is tiring.

That makes me sound crazy, I am not crazy. I have restraint, which is a saviour sometimes. Because speaking out of turn is one thing, but when you have such twisted opinions as I do, expressing such opinions ALWAYS ends up in bother. But, people who love me just say ‘Silly Sue, what has she said now to piss off the masses’. Seriously.

Going to change my name so it doesn’t fit with anything condescending.

Productivity Day

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I really need to stop putting ‘write a blog’ as being on my to-do list as if it is something productive. I know that sounds harsh, but I end up writing a blog entry and doing nothing else because I feel I have achieved something. In reality I have achieved nothing, and usually just ramble nonsense for a few hundred words. But if I feel I have achieved something, and that seems to make my concentration go right out the window, and I don’t do anything else.

This is typical of me, and I do it all the time. The thing is, that recently I have found that I am going through this period of self-sacrifice, where I seem to be tripping myself up on purpose. I don’t think I’ll ever be a high achiever, sort of girl, but I would like to be able to be doing comfortably. The issue is that I am not. Sometimes, it’s like I have the idea that I will do as minimal work as necessary. Now, I do have blips, where I have focused and have been top of the class, but it seems to be short-lived.

I guess, I need to change my whole attitude to work. Which is why I have created 2 or 3 different projects to do at the same time. And I need to keep focused on those, as well as pulling my socks up at my actual work. I feel jaded, but actually functioning at a good level will hopefully help me get a little meaning back in my life. But, in the idea that things don’t get better, I am preparing. I am getting an online shop organised to sell products that I make and I am applying for jobs. I have a to-do list that I am working through, as I find that is the best way that stay focused, by breaking things down and working through a simple list.

*deep breathes*

This is a big time for me to show what I am made of. It has been a year since I left college, and nothing has really changed. And that is no-one’s fault bar my own. So I am going to take responsibility and get things going again. Wish me luck.

Busy Girl

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I don’t ever appear to be busy, but I am right now. I have about 2 or 3 projects currently treading water in the depths of my mind. And they are all going to remain top secret.

Why make an issue about something, and then not tell anyone what it is? Well, I have a habit of having things fall away and never happen. So I figure,  that I will keep it to myself, so nobody knows what I have failed in. It’s a way of me trying to protect myself, and moreso my ideas. Because, not to be big-headed, but these ideas are pretty awesome. Well I think so anyway.

I guess everyone else is going to wait until everything is finalised enough that I can let it be known. I do feel important that I have a secret. I never got told secrets as a kid, because I guess I must look untrustworthy. Which is a nice feeling to get when you are 13.  Nothing has changed, but I think it is because I am no longer in a situation where whispering rumours in class is no longer a factor in my existance.

No. Now the whispering is done on the bus, at work or at a coffee shop. Because that is how grown up I really am. 😉

Creativity Waves

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I don’t know about other people, but I am the kind of person that struggles to keep inspired all day. I go through waves of motivation. There can be little spurts during the day, where I will punch the air dramatically and do something of any worth.

Usually it happens in the morning, where I get up (if I get up) and I feel all motivated. The second time, where I do most work and things, is at night after work. Bare in mind I finish work at 11pm. By the time I get home, and get all fed, I am sitting at 1am twiddling my thumbs. This is where I find I am most creative. I read, draw and write (obviously).

I think I like that everyone else is asleep. I find something really calming about that. Kind of like I am the only one in the world, and it is all for me. *coughs* Or something equally crazy.  I just find it a good time to take stock and do something productive. My friend things it is nothing but rebellion. Like I don’t do things when I am supposed to, I live by my own rules. Because every rebel sits up past 2am drawing ponies and writing blogs. -.-

Saying Goodbye Is Refreshing

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

If a person feels a little bad about life, and a bit undecided about their place in life, a good thing to do is a bit of a clean out. When I say ‘clean out’ I mean getting rid of actual possessions.

A big thing is to throw out a lot of clutter that has been gathered over the past few years. The big part where I need to ‘revitalise’ is my closet. Mostly because I have a lot of old band shirts and hoodies that I don’t wear, and haven’t worn in years. So I bit the bullet, and decided that if I haven’t worn something in the last year, it is gone. Hence the almost two bin bags filled with clothes. That is clothes that has been taking up space, when I have no intention of using them. It’s the same with books. I have a lot of comic books that I no longer read, that would maybe be enjoyed by someone else. So, going to try and get rid of a lot of it.

And to be honest, organising everything is very motivating. It is giving me a lot of perspective, and letting me say goodbye to the person I used to be. I am not the girl who still mopes around in a Slipknot hoodie. I am more about buying basic clothes, like shirts and customising them. It gives me clothes which are unique, and seem to match my ethos a lot better. I mean, a shirt that has bleach on it from dying my hair, and putting more bleach on it, so it looks a bit more balanced. People buy clothing which has been ‘man handled’ by someone else, because they think it seems original. Buy cheaper jeans and customise them yourself.

I feel for once in my life, my clothing effects me, and it looks happier. It shows a girl who is no longer afraid of her figure. I am proud of who I have become as an adult, and I feel that my fashion sense should convey that. I am finding that having things which brings up thoughts of the unhappy person, is still making me sad. So if I get rid a lot of these bad memories, like cleaning away the cobwebs, I am sure things will start to look up.

Yes, I will always wear band shirts and jeans, but I hope to be a bit more ‘me’ with it all.

Self-expression for the win!!