Pride

June 22, 2026 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

This weekend was Edinburgh Pride. I went along with colleagues from my work. We meet, do the parade, give away goodies, and then celebrate at the end of the march. Lots of dancing was done, and drink was drunk. However, I have never ever been good at mixing my drinks, and felt ill as soon as I stopped drinking. Rookie error, tbh.

Edinburgh Pride march heading up the Royal Mile.

As time goes on, the need for Pride seems to be more important than ever. In the UK, we have an increase in politicians ripping down pride flags, and cancelling events. Trying to silence a community that is already under pressure. Talking about not just restricting trans folk, and their rights, but making gay marriage illegal, gay adoption? It’s horrific, and there is no need for that. It’s 2026, and it feels like civil rights are going backward.

I have always been brought up with the radical idea that you treat those around you with kindness. Yes, we all have different ideas and beliefs, but as long no-one is harming any other person or creature, they should be able to live peacefully. We all have to muddle through this life in one piece, so if being guided by a religion, or dressing a certain way, can help a person navigate the shit show, then it should be fine. They shouldn’t be targeted purely because they are ‘different’ or ‘not normal’.

When I was at school in the 90s, I remember discovering that I didn’t like boys. I didn’t know who to turn to. I didn’t know anyone who was gay. Any other gay girls. So, I went to a teacher, someone at school to talk about it. To ask for advice. Only to be told, that when I met a boy that really likes me, these feelings would go away. I felt broken, that something was wrong. Section 28 banned schools talking about LGBTQ+ themes and issues to pupils. Put in place by the conservative government in 1988. It was put in place to protect the idea of the ‘nuclear family’, and stop children from being ‘indoctrinated’ into the homosexual lifestyle. It was repealed in Scotland in 2000, with England and Wales following in 2003. But for so many queer people, it was too late. Sexual assault, abuse, suicide, queer people suffered.

We are at a point, in 2026, where it honestly feels like Section 28 could come back. LGBTQ+ people in the UK are genuinely scared. There is an effort by the political right wing, where they want to split the LGB from the TQ+. And it is not because they ‘love the gays’, it’s a method of divide and conquer. We need to stand together as a community, because once the ball starts rolling back on human rights, it doesn’t just take out the rights for people you dislike. It comes for all the rights of every marginalised community. It doesn’t stop till we, as a general population, are set back decades.

We’ll Be Coming

June 1, 2026 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

This past weekend has been another football based weekend. On Saturday I attended Hampden Park for the third time in about 6 weeks. Which is an oddity in itself. Just how everything has panned out.

Saturday was Scotland’s final game before they jetted off to the USA for the World Cup. The first Word Cup Scotland has attended since 1998. I remember the excitement at High School, as I was ending second year when the tournament was on. It was probably the last time that I tried to collect football stickers. Something I tried numerous times, but never ever filled an album. In fact, I think I shared some with my brother, and I remember getting angry at stickers going on squint, and not as neat as I would like.

Anywho, we were driving to Hampden, and the roads were a nightmare. We did eventually get parked up, and went into the stadium no bother. Nothing beats hearing the Hampden roar during a Scotland game.

The game had already started when we reached the stadium to find our seats. Ooops

We found our seats, and it felt like we were right in front of all the action. I had no idea we were sitting, just got told I had a ticket, and paid for it. It was from a friend, by the way. It wasn’t me buying random resale tickets. Luckily the seats were under the shelter, so that we never got hit by the what seems to be constant rain. But it was a pretty great view.

The players all warming up right in front of us.

The opposition was Curaçao, who have been the smallest island nation to qualify for the World Cup, as they are also off to the USA for the 2026 World Cup. They brought a few hundred fans with them, and they were so noisy. It was great to see. And the Curaçao team were pretty scrappy, and they scored first. Which, to the dismay of the Scotland fans, was well deserved. Curaçao player Jürgen Locadia, received a yellow card for a bad tackle. This was then updated to a red card after the referee checked the VAR. Unfortunately, Billy Gilmour went off with a bad injury. Luckily, things picked up and Findlay Curtis scored an equaliser just before half time

The second half was much more controlled by Scotland. With two Lawrence Shankland goals, and a handful of attempts on goal by Ryan Christie, Lyndon Dykes, and Nathan Patterson. Scotland felt in control. Findlay Curtis was brought down in the penalty box, and Ryan Christie scored from the spot. The players on both sides gave it a good go but the game ended 4-1 Scotland.

It was a grand wee day out, and a good send off to the Scotland team. The USA is providing to be very expensive, and a lot of Scotland fans are unable to fly to the states. The best thing about Scotland games, as the club you support is irrelevant, as long as you support the Scotland team. Speaking of support, the official Scotland football team YouTube channel have released a documentary called ’28 Summers’. It is about the qualifying campaign for the World Cup, and speaks to the players about their experience in the Scotland camp. They seem a really great bunch of lads, and if anyone can get us out of the group stages, it’s this team.

Not Everything Can Be Won

May 26, 2026 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

On Saturday, it was the Scottish Cup final between Celtic and Dunfermline Athletic (my team). I was born in Dunfermline, I work in Dunfermline, I socialise in Dunfermline. It is home. Sport is known for having communities of fans. Something that has spread throughout culture, to theatre, music, tv shows, movies, even sweet companies have fan-based communities around them these days. When I have been at my lowest, it has been sport that has been the thing that distracted me. That took my mind off my own failures. Even when you attend sports events on your own, you become a part of the collective, something that makes you feel not so alone. You don’t get that community when you follow behind a TV screen. Nothing compares to being in the crowd, cheering on your team in person.

The last time Dunfermline reached the Scottish Cup final was 2007. Since then the club have had some severe downs. The club went into administration, but were saved from the brink. Things had to build up again. There is a thing in Scottish football, where most clubs have a singing section. Something there has been varying degrees of during the years at Dunfermline. But over the last several years Section North West, a singing section based in North West Stand at East End Park, have been bringing the songs and the vibes to matchday. They help create the atmosphere, and help get everyone behind the teams. There are teenagers, all the way up to older guys within the group, and they are a great asset to Dunfermline Athletic.

a picture of Dunfermline fans at East End park

Section North West also have a TIFO group, who put together fan displays for games. Often it is a few flags, but big games, they organise something bigger. At the cup final they lay out flags at every seat, to create a display of black and white stripes, Dunfermline’s colours, with the Scottish Cup in the middle.

Scottish Cup Final, Dunfermline TIFO display

Game day for me and my family, involved us getting a bus at 10 am. Me and my Dad arrived in Glasgow first, and ended up finding a beer garden for a couple of pints. Every pub was pre-booked, so we ended up going to try and find somewhere else as everything got busier. We ended up struggling to find anywhere, so we got a few drinks from Tesco, and going to sit on the grass outside Hampden Park. It was really sunny, so it was chill. Was also then able to see the Dunfermline team bus go by. There were guys singing songs, and it was such a great atmosphere. We went into the stadium, there was over 15,000 Dunfermline fans there, and it was great. Until a 6 foot tall guy stood in front of me. It was okay, I did manage to see the game. Though, Celtic scored 2 goals in the first half, so maybe I would have been better off hiding behind Hen Broon, in front of me.

The second have had a lot of substitutes, and a much better performance. In fact, there were times Dunfermline were the bigger team. And Josh Cooper scored, with his first touch of the game. The stands were euphoric. I think, we dreamed of a win, however unlikely would be. But, as long as we didn’t embarrass ourselves. The game ended 3-1 to Celtic, which is what we expected. At full-time, there was still a lot of singing, fans left happy after getting a trip to Hampden. Something that we did not think was going to happen at all. The team did well, against much stronger opposition. And it was a good turnout for squad that doesn’t look like will be together next season. With a lot of players having received offers from other clubs, after what has been a successful season for them. So there is a bit of sadness, but the players deserve every success. The way the season started, I never thought we’d not only get to the Scottish Cup Final, but the semis of the Play-offs for promotion to the Premier League.

The fans are what make events like this so special. The people cheering on their local club. The ones who attend weekday matches in the freezing cold of winter, the guys who attend every single match, the ones who buy merchandise, who play the 50/50 lottery, who pay into the centenary club, those who make it to an odd match when their schedule allows it… everyone. As the late great Jock Stein said, ‘without fans paying at the turnstiles, football is nothing’. And he is correct. It’s the fans who help football clubs to exist. And it is the same with every sport. If no eyes were on the matches and the races, there would be no sponsorship, no money, nothing. I do think some sports organisations *cough* FIFA *cough* FIA*cough* need realise who it is who keeps sports going. And it’s not the sponsors from the conglomerates, it’s the attention from fans. And some need to treat the fans better.

More progress

May 18, 2026 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I have been absent for a while. That’s not just a thing that’s happened on here, but everything that is online. It’s been a conscious effort to step back. To do more things outside the online world. Which is hard, and mostly ends up with me reading books. Not really a bad thing.

My last post was about my birthday, and using to review how much progress I’ve made in the start of the year. One of the things I wanted to achieve, other than work on my health, was to buy a car. This year marks 10 years since I passed my driving test, but I haven’t had a car for over 4 years.

I bought myself a car. It’s not very much, but it is an older car that will get me back on the road again. I didn’t want to get a new car, because I am expected to bump some kerbs and things, due to not driving for so long. It was under £1000 and is £20 road tax a year. I found it on Facebook, and have had the car for almost 2 weeks. I was nervous when I first sat in the driver’s seat, but I practiced, and all that stuff with the gears and things came right back to me.

It has an MOT till December, which is good enough for me getting used to the car. It is 19 years old, sounds a little rough, and has a bit of a messy interior, but it’s a perfect car for me. I am slowly getting more confident, and I’m liking having a car back. It’s so convenient for going to work, or going to get food shopping.

2026 has been a very productive year so far.

Another year older

April 7, 2026 ~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

It was my birthday on Friday, and have such struggled the last few days to do anything. I spent hours upon hours watching videos on TikTok, doing nothing of any value. During my appointment with my therapist last week, I am needing to learn that there is actual value in doing ‘nothing’. Which is something that is really hard for me to do. So… we are not making myself feel bad about it. Or trying not to.

My birthday falls at the start of the second quarter of the year. And, I normally use this to see how I am doing so far on my aims for the year. This is a process which usually has me in tears, as I do feel like I have got nowhere in life, and feel useless. This is something that I am trying to stop focusing my energy on, as it is never very productive. It tends to be more likely to knock me off my feet, and stop me from making any progress at all, which just causes me to spiral.

So there are a few things that I wanted to do in 2026. The biggest thing is improving my health. I have experienced issues with my mental, physical, and dental health. So what have I done, or reached out to the appropriate services to do? The tale end of last year had me going to the dentist to get treatment started on a long-term broken tooth, which has died and got infected. I had that removed, and the subsequent hole filled in. I still have treatment to go, but my mouth is feeling so much better. The best thing is that my dental practice has so many nice people working at it, and have made me feel at complete ease whilst attending. Treatment is partially paid for by my dental insurance I get through may work, which is a thing I am recommending to everyone, if they can.

Sticking to things I get through my work, I called the Employee Assistant Programme, and have been receiving mental health support. I was super struggling, and have been for months. I was feeling so low, and I really didn’t know how to fix things. So I called a number, which gave me an appointment to be ‘triaged’. I think it is a way to figure out where your problems lie, and they can then match you with a suitable therapist. Which they have done. I have currently had two appointments, via telephone, and the therapist has been a great help. We were discussing about how my self-esteem is one of my main issues, and is possibly why I have struggled to get to grips with problems in the past. It certainly was an angle that I have never looked at before. My GP surgery has been a nightmare, and I have struggled to get appointments and help, so I am grateful that I have services at work that pick up the slack.

And then my rheumatoid arthritis. I fell of the bandwagon of medication, due to my mental health. Because if I had any issues, it was never one phone call. it was over 5 phone calls, every single time. And, I was struggling to do basic activities, I just buried my head in the sand. The very few times I did feel like I could chase things up, I was met with silence. Which, didn’t exactly make me want to keep going. So, I have been in pain for months, and exhausted for the same time. Last week, I received a letter to go to the Rheumatology clinic for an appointment next week. I am assuming that this is unprompted, as my phonecalls and emails have all went unanswered. Umprompted or not, this hopefully means that I can speak to someone about getting my medication sorted again. I am pretty frustrated about the whole thing to be honest.

So health is doing better, there has been movement, some more prompted than others, to trying to help make things better. This is a huge success for the beginning of the year. Another thing that I wanted to do was to read more. I set myself a target of 50 books for the year, and I have read 15. in 3 months. Which I am rather happy with.

All progress is progress, and these are things that I am getting progress in. This is what I am trying to focus on. Not what has happened in the last 40-odd years, or what other people have done in that same time frame. What I have been doing recently. Small changes every day, may not fix everything, it will work toward making things a wee bit more liveable.

Formula 1: race 1- Australia

March 11, 2026 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

A 4am alarm call marked the start of the 2026 Formula 1 season. Albert Park in Melbourne took the centre stage, kicking off a season where we see the biggest Formula 1 rule changes for years. Nobody seemed to really know what to expect as the season got underway.

There had been a lot of dissatisfaction from many of the drivers and teams before the race started. With Aston Martin saying that the vibrations in their car were so bad, neither Fernando Alonso nor Lance Stroll would be completing anywhere near the full race distance. Max Verstappen had made his views very clear about the new regulations, and how poorly the car drove. So, before the race started, there was already contemplation on whether the racing would be any good. Would it just be a neutered version of the driving all the fans of the sport had come to love?

I woke up just in time for the race, where the teams were all on the grid, setting off for the warm-up lap. As a McLaren fan, I was quick to notice there was no Oscar Piastri on the grid. I was confused. Oscar, the hometown hero, had crashed out on his drive round to the starting grid, before the race had even begun. Oscar seems to have a bit of a curse for his home race. Also missing from the grid was Nico Hulkenberg, who was having communication issues. I understand he did the drive round to the grid, but then went into the pits to try and get his issue sorted. The Audi mechanics couldn’t fix things, so he also did not start.

The race itself, started of okay. With Mercedes’ George Russell and Ferrari’s Charles Leclerc having a good battle. Well we say good, when one got ahead, it was like they had no battery power to defend, so the car behind overtook again. It seemed to go back and forth a bit. But a difference in strategy, left Ferrari a step behind of Mercedes

George Russell (image- Silver Arrows Net)

Isack Hadjar seemed to be going very well in the dreaded ‘second seat’ for Red Bull, until he went off track (with a smoking car) causing a virtual safety car. Hadjar’s teammate, Max Verstappen, had an awful qualifying, but worked his way through the field from p20 to p6.

Aston Martin did try, and went further than fans and commentators expected. Both Stroll and Alonso did well, and went into the pits, and then came out for another handful of laps each. The idea that Alonso went out unitially, because he had lost feeling in his hands is absurd. The idea that the AMR26 is actually so undriveable it could injure the drivers is just mind boggling to me. How have they calculated things so bad?

Ultimately, the race was between Mercedes and Ferrari, with Mercedes two drivers finishing 15 seconds in front of Ferrari with Russell and Kimi Antonelli getting a well deserved 1-2. Leclerc finished up the podium places in p3, with teammate Sir Lewis Hamilton in p4. Lando Norris started 5th, finished 5th. Seems fairly uneventful. Verstappen was behind in 6th, with Haas’ Ollie Bearman in 7th. Arvid Linblad for Racing Bulls got p8 in his very first f1 race. What an achievement. Gabriel Bortoleto for Audi got their very first points in p9. And Alpine’s Pierre Gasly rounded up the point scoring positions in p10.

Full results

George Russell- Mercedes
Kimi Antonelli- Mercedes
Charles Leclerc- Ferrari
Lewis Hamilton- Ferrari
Lando Norris- McLaren
Max Verstappen- Red Bull
Ollie Bearman- Haas
Arvid Linblad- Racing Bulls
Gabriel Bortoleto- Audi
Pierre Gasly- Alpine
Esteban Ocon- Haas
Alex Albon- Williams
Liam Lawson- Racing Bulls
Franco Colapinto- Alpine
Carlos Sainz- Williams
Sergio Perez- Cadillac

DNF- Lance Stroll- Aston Martin

DNF- Fernando Alonso- Aston Martin

DNF- Valtteri Bottas- Cadillac

DNF- Isack Hadjar- Red Bull

DNS- Nico Hulkenberg- Audi

DNS- Oscar Piastri- McLaren

———————————-

So… I wanted to a post-race ramble on here. I like f1 and would love to write about it on here. I really liked doing this, although it’s probably not very good. But it’s a learning experience, and hopefully I can keep it up through the season.

6 Wee Things That Help Me When In A Motivation Slump

March 10, 2026 ~ Sue ~ 2 Comments

I frequently get trapped in a slump, which I have gone into many times on here. Between my rheumatoid arthritis and poor mental health, it becomes all too easy to fall into a slump, and struggle to get out of it. Some things do help though.

Admitting I was in a slump– One of the things I am bad at is burying my head in the sand, pretending things aren’t as bad as they actually are. Recognising a struggle, is the first step to getting things moving again.
Doing one embarrassingly small task- Make the bed, have some breakfast, do the laundry, read a chapter of a book… Doing anything, and recognising that tiny thing, is a step forward.
Messaging someone you haven’t spoken to in a while- I am awful at texting people back. So doing a quick ‘how are you’, can be great. I also have a lot of friends I chat to on social media, and chatting away with them also can help.
Letting myself do nothing- sometimes, when you are exhausted and have had a hard time, you may need a break. When these times come, forcing yourself to do something, may end up just making you feel worse. So, be kind to yourself.
Noticing a good moment– I am really bad at recognising the good stuff in life. It doesn’t have to be anything momentous, but can be having something for dinner you really like, or watching a TikTok that made you laugh. Anything that adds a bit of light to your day is good, so take time to recognise and enjoy it.
Writing down your feelings- it can be hard to speak about your struggles, so sometimes it is beneficial to write things down. It may be in the note app on your phone. A notebook. A private online journal. It is always good to get the nonsense that’s in your head out.

What helps you with motivation? What kind of things make you feel better, when life gets hard?

Dropping Things Instead of Juggling Them

March 5, 2026 ~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

So, things kind of got worse before they got any better. On Tuesday, I had a complete meltdown over my University work. It just felt like everything that I was attempting to do, was useless. I am currently studying database management using SQL, and I just seem to have a complete incapacity to preform anything to do with it. I was so frustrated that I just wanted to erase everything and start again. Which, is something that ends up being more hinderance than a help.

I did manage to email my Tutor, after being too embarssed to post anything on the class forum. Which was something I pondered on for a while. I always feel embarrassed when I struggle to do something. I have this idea where ‘everyone else’ is managing things fine, and I am the only one who is stupid enough to be struggling. Logically, I know that this line of thinking is just unreasonable and incorrect, but when one is panicking, logic isn’t a factor. Fortunately, my Tutor emailed me back, and informed me that I wasn’t the only person struggling with the SQL part of the process. Which was a relief.

I am now taking my time going through things, and trying to get stuff to function properly. Doing it in hourly sessions at a time, because I find that helps my productivity most. That way, if I am struggling, I can just stop, and I can always go back after a break. That is why I am writing this post. Maybe delaying the inevitable of having to do something difficult. But circumstances aside, it is always good to write something.

I think I often underestimate how much work it is to work full-time, as well as study. Because, you need to put time in to recover. You need to have time for hobbies and interests. You need to have time to socialise with people. And then you need to do the functional stuff like eat, sleep, do housework, and other boring, but essential stuff. It feels like there isn’t enough hours in a day to fit everything in. Which can feel worse when I am faced with fatigue, which is a common symptom of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Something that is causing me awful bother at the moment, but that is a story for another day.

Pressurised

February 24, 2026 ~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

I made a plan in November last year, where I would have 12 months to change my life. Every day I would do something positive, something that will move me towards my goals. Sounds admirable, and I thought that if I started at the tail end of the year, there would maybe be more chance of me keeping up with what I hope to do.

Unfortunately, it coincided with the winter. With compulsory overtime at work. And the hardest, most personally challenging part of my university course. A bit of a mental health crisis. Physical health problems. Just, one thing after another. I has left me with about 5 weeks of complete loss. Of uselessness. Where there has been no energy to push through the imaginary barrier that has formed.

Today, this has continued for most of the day. I have eaten, I cried over work I couldn’t understand. I didn’t talk to anyone. It took till about 3.30pm for me to attempt to write a list. One that has 4 items, 2 of which are studying, and the other is eating dinner, and writing this very blog. A list that looks laughable, but still feels like progress.

My head feels like a constant fuzz. Like TV static. The kind that makes it so hard to focus on anything productive. So things have to be done in small bits. I just hope the small bits are achievable in some way. So that I am able to pull myself out of this feeling of uselessness.