May Challenge: Mundane

I find it hard to be creative, sometimes. Especially when it feels like life is very boring. Sometimes you wake, work, eat, sleep, rinse and repeat. It feels very boring because you do the same thing every day and it is very hard to get inspired. It can feel hard enough trying to function in your daily life without the need for inspiration to strike.

And, that is what I tend to struggle with the most. I am a naturally creative, person. I like keeping busy by making things. But, you often need to be able to imagine those things before you can create them. It has become one of those problems that has become difficult to describe to people who aren’t of the creative mind. Like, how do you find the interesting, in the mundane?

When someone finds the answer, it would be great if they would let me in on the secret.

This month, although I haven’t stuck to this challenge, I have been able to keep at it. The topic sitting at the sidelines, means that, if I can switch off, I can try and do something. And like most things, creativity becomes easier once you have beaten the mental block. And, for me that is good. As sometimes the challenges I opt into, don’t have any prompts, and that often makes my mental block worse. As if I can’t imagine random content ad hoc, how can I do it on demand? So, maybe going forward, I shall try and look at prompt lists, just to have in the background. Just to be there if I feel the need to write, but can’t think up anything.

The important thing is that if you do feel fed-up with life, try to find the differences in every day, or add stuff to your routine that makes it better. Most lives feel mundane, no matter the person or the job. Every job has its routine, the boring, but essential, parts. So part of adulthood may be learning to find the excitement within the mundane.

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Late Night Post

It’s been one of those days, where I should have just stayed in bed. It’s been a day full of bad luck, which is pretty annoying. But I suppose those kind of days do happen sometimes.

I was so tired until I came up to my bed. And now I am wide awake, and decided to test out my new wireless keyboard. I have recently become an owner of an iPad 6. I originally had an iPad 2, but it broke a while ago. When I had my previous iPad, and any other tablet device since, I always wanted to do my writing on a more physical keyboard, rather than the touch screen. So, this week, I found a deal online, which included a new case for my iPad, as well as a wireless keyboard.

I own a Lenovo laptop, which I do most things on. But sometimes, I want to write without having to go through starting up a computer. The iPad is great for that, as it switches on so quick. And this wee wireless keyboard is great for typing wee things. It will be great for when I am out and about and have time to kill. Cause I don’t really like carrying around my laptop, which sounds stupid.

I am planning on getting back on track for the last week or so of my May Challenge, but I just wanted to post something since I can’t sleep.

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May Challenge: Curtains

First off, apologies. I haven’t been in a writing way of thinking during the last few days. I had course work due in, as well as pretty bad mental health. So, I gave myself a break for a few days. It’s okay, I told myself that might happen, so I had prepared to just jump back on things when I felt better. No pressure, just post when I felt like it, and the challenge gives me topics to focus on.

Today’s topic is curtains, and I’m one of these weird people who rarely closes their bedroom curtains. I don’t know why, but it’s something I have got into over the years. I think it’s because if the sun is going to peak it’s face out early, then it can help wake me up. And it does work. However, it does mean that when the window cleaner comes round early doors, there is a chance that if it’s my day off, I could be still sleeping. Which is great.

When my depression was more out of control, curtains had more of a purpose. I didn’t want to deal with the world, so I shut it out. Things are safer if you don’t have to actually deal with everyone. Now, it’s almost like the opposite. I have open curtains, I want to experience the world, but I am prone to anxiety attacks that will keep me in my bed. I sometimes wish I could explain to people how difficult it can be trying to push yourself when your brain has applied the breaks. When I feel bad, it can take me hours get up and go to the bathroom. I just have no focus, no nothing. I start to panic, and my body feels of pins and needles. The feeling can last 10 minutes, or an entire day.

So maybe, having the curtains always open can allow me hope that one day, my mental health will take the back seat. That I will be able to enjoy every day. Let in every experience, like the window let’s in the light. Maybe, this battle will continue on for another 20 years, maybe it will change. I have to hope it will.

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May Challenge: Umbrella

There are some things that you have to just understand that you just cannot have certain things in your life. And for me, it is an umbrella. You see, I live in Scotland, near the coast, and on top of a hill. If I try to use an umbrella, two things would happen. It would break within a few minutes, or I would be flying through the sky like an overweight Mary Poppins.

The wind that we experience, where I live, has bested many umbrellas, both cheap and expensive. When it rains, which it does often, the drops always come in at some kind of angle. And it is best to just wear something with a hood, and get on with it.

I think an umbrella can deal as (a bad) metaphor for what it is like dealing with mental health. The umbrella, is the shelter from the rain for most people. It is an efficient way to keep a person dry. However, it isn’t the solution for everyone. I struggle to shelter myself from the negative thoughts that occur in my head. It can feel like I am drowning, and the only thing I can do is get my head down and carry on. Which is hard.

So I am a little bit like a drowned rat, most of the time. But I’m still here. Still plodding with very little success. But sometimes, enjoying the rainfall and realising you aren’t alone, is enough of a success.

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May Challenge: Pranks

I have never really been a person for pranking others. I’ll join in the laughter if someone else pulls a prank, but I’m not very good at planning one, myself. If I do think of a funny prank, I usually giggle away to myself and ruin everything. I am like that when telling jokes too.

When I was little, I remember that I would do funny things, to make people laugh. But, when people did laugh, for some reason, I would get upset and cry. I really don’t why. I just seemed to get embarassed easily. There was no comprehension in my mind, that the laughter I was receiving, was for what I said. Noone was actually laughing AT me. I would get flustered instead.

At work, we can sometimes play pranks on each other. It usually involves hiding someone else’s tools somewhere else. But, again, I show that Iam the guilty party by laughing. If I don’t laugh, a big sign that I have done something is that my face turns bright red. It is the reason why I am a rubbish liar, my beetroot coloured face ruins everything.

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This post is part of a May prompt which is explained here, feel free to join in or pick one or two topics, to get your own creativity flowing.

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May Challenge: salty

I like savoury food. Give me a choice of meal options and I’d probably chose everything but the pudding. I really do not have a sweet, never have done.

My guilty tends to be crisps. Or potato chips, depending on where you live. Salt and vinegar is my favourite, but I also love cheesy crispy things, like Doritos or Wotsits.

I always hear that so many girls crave chocolate when they have a bad day. I don’t. Some ready salted Hula Hoops are my preference. I don’t know why. Yes sugar is good, but I get sick or sweet things. I struggle to finish chocolate bars, most of the time. Give me a multi-pack of crisps though, and I will scoff the whole lot. Very easily.

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his post is part of a May prompt which is explained here, feel free to join in or pick one or two topics, to get your own creativity flowing.

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May Challenge: Weight

I was always told that, when I was younger, I looked like a rugby player. It was because I was bulky. Short and stout, a bit like a teapot with no spout.

I was always short, but the other bit never really bothered till I got older. In High School my confidence disappeared because people started making me feel bad for my weight. As if I was stupid for not being as skinny as other folk. Over time I ended up hating my body, and food became punishment instead of just nourishment. I didn’t deal with what was going on, and tried to lose weight for years.

Unfortunately, my self hatred caused issues. I didn’t see any value in myself, so didn’t see the point in making effort to get fitter. So, over the last few years, I’ve acknowledged my mental health issues, and tried to work on them.

I am hoping that as I get healthier mentally, I’ll be able to get physically healthier too. Hopefully.

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