Tag: motivation

Fall Behind?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

When you are in the habit of updating things regularly, you get into a habit. You can mentally check off the things you are doing, and get them done rather quickly. But when you fall out of habit, it is hard to start back up again. Well, not hard, in that the task it hard, it is finding the time to do everything.

This is a position I am finding myself in right now. Where I usually do so much online, that I find it taking up a large percentage of my day. Which is fine, until I began to pick up other things to fill my time, and the original activities kind of get pushed to the side. It is not that I am enjoying the tasks any less. It is more that I am finding less time to do what I want. Which is a pain.

Also, I have been in a much better mood than I have been lately, and I think that is a major factor in my writing and what I decide to do with my time. If I am depressed, I find nothing better than locking myself away, and writing away to myself. It is release. But when you have nothing to release from, and you want to be out enjoying the world, it becomes a different scenario. I think that is a big reason as to why June has been a quiet month on every website I go on. I have been doing things other than sitting in front of a computer all day. Which is sad really, because I have so much I want to talk about, either on here, or on YouTube, and I don’t seem to have the time to prepare them. So instead of a well thought out topic, you get an apologetic, ramble of  word vomit, thinly disguised as a blog attempting to make a point. Something which it fails miserably in.

Hopefully this is the last check-in post for a while, and things should be back to topical goodness as soon as I can afford to spend the appropriate amount of time on it. If I can’t, then I feel I should issue a warning about the word vomit. But, then I think, it is a blog, it is personal, and it is mine. So I shouldn’t really need to disclaim or apologise. But yet, I feel my grovelling is necessary. *sigh*

When It Hits, It Hits

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

So….after weeks of complaining, I am FINALLY being productive.

Score 1, to Sue.

*Victory dance*

Ok it is one think I did. So maybe I shouldn’t get too excited, but I can’t help it. I got so happy, I went over to Flash, and started animating my intro for my Vlogs. Yes, after months of being on Youtube, I am FINALLY making a proper intro rather than just use crappy text. YAY

For now, check my latest Vlog.

It Just Goes On It’s Own

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

My imagination that is.

How is it, that I can be all inundated with creative thoughts when I am at work, but as soon as I get home and get stuff out, I have nothing. :/ This is something that has been happening for the last few weeks. And, if you have read this blog before, you’ll be no stranger to the fact that I don’t cope well with having no motivation.

I have heard that once you put too much pressure on something, it can become harder to do. So because I am trying to force myself to be creative, it is a lot harder to actually do. It was easy in college to blame the projects for my inactivity, but now I can do the projects that I want. I can design things in my own style. I should have this massive sense of creative freedom, now that I am freed from the boundries of education.

But I don’t. I just sit in my room and procrastinate about my failings in life. That is maybe how I am not so productive these days.

Procrastinate. That is the word of the moment. Because it seems to be all I can do right now. 😦

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am motivated.
Finally.
Ok, well still not completely, but I am doing work in my sketch book. I have been doing drawings and things in the book within the last few weeks, and am finally starting to feel good about the way I express myself again.

I know, it sounds like history repeating itself, but this wasn’t just me not being able to do work. It was more like, I had been stuck so long, I was losing my main method of expressing myself. For those who have never exprienced anything like that, it is like cutting off a limb. And at least with disfigurement, there is a route of action to resolve or better that situation. It’s not so easy fixing something like expression.

I have drawn, painted and written down things, ever since I was a young child, call me geeky, but these things helped relax me. And to have that taken away, it was suffocating. I felt almost restless. Like I couldn’t relax. So I sat and read Mice & Men, it was the only thing that I seemed to be able to sit still for. And I went on a few artists blogs and vlogs about scrapbooking. And I eventually, after almost 2 weeks, got my mojo back.

I sat and doodled a face at work.

Sounds like nothing, but I was so happy. I mean, I am planning to use my creativity as my career, so if it was gone, I really don’t know what I would have done. I have never had a creative block like it and I’m so glad it’s over.

The Search For Inspirado

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am so super distracted right now.

The money situation is getting no better, and I am just ‘grr-ing’ at everything. I’m just not getting anything done, and just banging my head of a brick wall. I am progressing slowly, though. Very slowly. So slowly, I may even start going backwards, just for the hell of it.

I seem to be using my financial  situation as an excuse for being so crap at the moment. But I need to get a grip, I can’ t keep on blaming other things for my failure. Sooo *deep breath, I am forcing myself to get some drawings done. I know, I know, I should be doing college work, but I need to get a build-up of my drawing portfolio as well as doing my units. I haven’t spent any time on art work for a while, and I feel that may be what is causing such an issue.

Soooo, in a bid to get started again, I am drawing a centaur (horse/person), as an attempt to get motivated. We’ll see what comes from it, I guess

Happy days

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I don’t know if it’s due to me having no classes, but I am all chilled out today. I missed the bus, and rather than getting all pissy, I went for a walk. Which makes a change, because I am one of these people, who gets stressed at the slightest thing. I think its helped that it is a really nice day. Its got me all ready to come into college and do work. Which I would do, but the chav class in the room, are distracting me. I can’t focus when they have no idea how to use their ‘indoor voices’. Sometimes I think I am at a nursery, not a college.

I am a simple person and it doesn’t take much to make me happy. I mean beer, iPod, sketchbook and crisps, made me extremely hyper when I was heading up to Aberdeen on Friday. And that really is as little as it takes to cheer me up. I seem to work better when I’m stressed, but I don’t know if that’s just cause I leave everything to the last minute.

But the weather is nice, so I think that also impacts on my work and mood. I mean if it is pouring down with rain, then I don’t want to leave my bed, and that leads to me being lethargic all day. Uch.

Saying that, at least the snow seems to finally be gone. Though I have a sneaking suspicion it may return, just because it doesn’t seem to want to go anywhere.

Anyway, this was not supposed to be a blog about the weather, which it turned out to be, but it is a thought that the weather impacts everything we do. Although we may not think about it. It must come from nature, because I suppose in bad weather, we would have naturally taken cover. But now that is not necessary, but it is expectected that we would still retain some of that instinct, to retract away from the bad weather. Oh well.
And whilst I remember…

…I dyed my hair, and got a new tattoo. Good times, indeed.

Blah

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Get this.

First deadline for ALL my college work next week, and guess who is probably going to miss said deadline?

That’s right. MEEEEE! (what a good guess)
The worrying thing is that I am not as stressed as I probably should be. Which is odd. I am usually at panic stations, but all I want to do is do other things. Such as drawing my character (whose name has changed from Kaiko to Kako).

Talking about Kako, I have went crazy drawing her. Its like I have been drawing her loads, and its the only thing I seem to have any productivity for. Its odd cause as a kid, I used to have all these dreams about ‘foxy-people’ and its like it is now I’ve finally found a way to put these thoughts into something productive. I felt that if i could start on something productive, I could transfer it across to my college work, which is easier said than done. I just can’t focus at all.

Its like all I do right now is college and work, and that’s it. Its driving me fecking mental.