Illusions of Grandeur

I don’t have an issue with people who have self-belief, I mean, it is that belief that helps a person achieve. So to achieve something, you need to have a little bit of confidence about yourself. I have an issue with people who pull others down, to make themselves look better.

And it happens everywhere. Rather than giving someone kudos for achieving what they want, people feel the need to bring the person down by demeaning themselves to make the achievement seem less worthy. It is just a person’s need to feel superior. It is strange, because most of the time people do it without thinking. Like, it is some natural instinct. Which is not too hard to imagine, when you think that other animals try to make others look weaker, so they can get a mate, etc.  Which makes you wonder, how much of this behaviour is us acting natural.

So whilst I frown about the behaviour of a ‘put-down’, I can only really disagree with people who do it on purpose. Like, they want to make that person miserable. That is something I don’t understand, why would it make someone feel better, to make another person sad? Surely I can’t be the only person who feels like this? I mean, I don’t see where a person can draw the line. If you attack someone because they annoy you for being happy, and it makes you better to change their mood, what are you next going to do to make you feel better? Is making someone sad going to become like a thrill to you? What are you going to stop at to get that thrill?

To be honest, everyone is the same. People have good things happen and bad things. It doesn’t mean you should avenge people who have good things happen to them. Because that feeling of achievement you may get from ‘knocking someone down a peg or two’, will only be short lived, and you will hurt someone else.

So if you catch yourself trying to kill someone’s good time, stop. Because if there is one thing the world doesn’t need is someone trying to spread more negativity.

Happy July

I feel like July should be celebrated for a few reasons.

1) It’s closer to my holidays, and much needed time off work. It feels as though the end is actually in sight. I am actually on holiday the first 2 weeks in August, and am beginning to countdown. This year I am spending another week in Blackpool, for Rebellion punk festival. It really is the highlight of my year, and I am so excited to go.

2) The weather is getting nicer. Yes, even in Scotland, the land of perma-rain, there is a notable improvement in the number of hours we get sunshine. And it isn’t the sun hiding behind a clump of grey clouds, it is blue skies and actual warmth. It’s the kind of weather where I could easily sit outside with a few beers and some good music.

3) Every month, nay every day should be welcomed with open arms. Not everyone gets to enjoy the freedoms that we do, so I feel we should take a moment and be grateful. If you do, and look at the things that make you happy, you will be a happier person as your mind will be in that mindset. So if you read this, do something that makes you happy. Yes work may suck, but do something fun outside of work that makes you smile.

You will notice that the person of the last few entries is a much happier person of past blogs. This is a mixture of reasons, one which is the nice weather. I am sure sunshine benefits everyone in that way, as it just makes everything seem so much happier in general.

I have also went into work with the idea that I will kick its ass. Basically, head down and focus on what I need to do. Basically forcing myself out of the lethargy I seemed so comfortable in. The best thing is, that I can see results, both in my productivity in work and my general attitude.

So doing what I do best and sharing, because good moods are contagious. So give in to summer, and go have yourself a wonderful first of July.

xox

Fall Behind?

When you are in the habit of updating things regularly, you get into a habit. You can mentally check off the things you are doing, and get them done rather quickly. But when you fall out of habit, it is hard to start back up again. Well, not hard, in that the task it hard, it is finding the time to do everything.

This is a position I am finding myself in right now. Where I usually do so much online, that I find it taking up a large percentage of my day. Which is fine, until I began to pick up other things to fill my time, and the original activities kind of get pushed to the side. It is not that I am enjoying the tasks any less. It is more that I am finding less time to do what I want. Which is a pain.

Also, I have been in a much better mood than I have been lately, and I think that is a major factor in my writing and what I decide to do with my time. If I am depressed, I find nothing better than locking myself away, and writing away to myself. It is release. But when you have nothing to release from, and you want to be out enjoying the world, it becomes a different scenario. I think that is a big reason as to why June has been a quiet month on every website I go on. I have been doing things other than sitting in front of a computer all day. Which is sad really, because I have so much I want to talk about, either on here, or on YouTube, and I don’t seem to have the time to prepare them. So instead of a well thought out topic, you get an apologetic, ramble of  word vomit, thinly disguised as a blog attempting to make a point. Something which it fails miserably in.

Hopefully this is the last check-in post for a while, and things should be back to topical goodness as soon as I can afford to spend the appropriate amount of time on it. If I can’t, then I feel I should issue a warning about the word vomit. But, then I think, it is a blog, it is personal, and it is mine. So I shouldn’t really need to disclaim or apologise. But yet, I feel my grovelling is necessary. *sigh*

Lion King 3D- review

The Lion King. What can be said about a movie which has became one of Disney’s most famous creations? With a killer sound track, touching story and memorable characters, it became the movie that made so many people fall in love with animation.

I am going to take it for granted that most people know the story of Simba and his journey to become ruler of The Pride Lands. This special screening of the movie was a late addition to the Edinburgh International film festival, and so was missed out of much of the promotion material. But, none-the-less Ediburgh’s stylish Festival Theatre was filled with both kids and adults to see the 3D premiere of The Lion King. The 3D re-release is in celebration of the movie being released from the legendary Disney Vault, in October. The pressure was on, after Disney made a mess of the 2003 release on DVD, mostly by re-animating scenes and even adding an additional song, (Morning Report from the stage musical).

Thankfully, the added song was absent, although it appears that the animation includes the re-animated scenes from the 2003 release. The sound has been re-done, and it sounds spectacular. The 3D, something I normally have difficulty in distinguishing, had a few moments were it shone. Best moments for the 3D, for myself, was at the start (Circle of Life), the stampede and when Simba follows Rafiki through bushes to the lake. These scenes really popped out, and really are amongst the best 3D I have seen on the big screen.

It is still a magical movie, well worth seeing in the cinema whether you can distinguish the 3D or not. The movie is still breath-taking, and I still will say that Mufasa’s death is still one of the saddest scenes in modern cinema. In fact, I know I was not the only adult who cried at Simba’s futile attempts to wake his fallen father. As an avid fan of The Lion King, this screening made me fall more in love with my favourite animation franchise ever. And everyone in my screening came out happy and satisfied. Well done Disney, you have done it right.

Lion King 3D is released in UK cinemas on 1st October, for 2 weeks, with the DVD/BluRay release on the 14th October. I recommend everyone to see it, if you can. Its not very often you get a second chance to see a true masterpiece on the big screen, so make the effort to see it.

Productivity Day

I really need to stop putting ‘write a blog’ as being on my to-do list as if it is something productive. I know that sounds harsh, but I end up writing a blog entry and doing nothing else because I feel I have achieved something. In reality I have achieved nothing, and usually just ramble nonsense for a few hundred words. But if I feel I have achieved something, and that seems to make my concentration go right out the window, and I don’t do anything else.

This is typical of me, and I do it all the time. The thing is, that recently I have found that I am going through this period of self-sacrifice, where I seem to be tripping myself up on purpose. I don’t think I’ll ever be a high achiever, sort of girl, but I would like to be able to be doing comfortably. The issue is that I am not. Sometimes, it’s like I have the idea that I will do as minimal work as necessary. Now, I do have blips, where I have focused and have been top of the class, but it seems to be short-lived.

I guess, I need to change my whole attitude to work. Which is why I have created 2 or 3 different projects to do at the same time. And I need to keep focused on those, as well as pulling my socks up at my actual work. I feel jaded, but actually functioning at a good level will hopefully help me get a little meaning back in my life. But, in the idea that things don’t get better, I am preparing. I am getting an online shop organised to sell products that I make and I am applying for jobs. I have a to-do list that I am working through, as I find that is the best way that stay focused, by breaking things down and working through a simple list.

*deep breathes*

This is a big time for me to show what I am made of. It has been a year since I left college, and nothing has really changed. And that is no-one’s fault bar my own. So I am going to take responsibility and get things going again. Wish me luck.

Busy Girl

I don’t ever appear to be busy, but I am right now. I have about 2 or 3 projects currently treading water in the depths of my mind. And they are all going to remain top secret.

Why make an issue about something, and then not tell anyone what it is? Well, I have a habit of having things fall away and never happen. So I figure,  that I will keep it to myself, so nobody knows what I have failed in. It’s a way of me trying to protect myself, and moreso my ideas. Because, not to be big-headed, but these ideas are pretty awesome. Well I think so anyway.

I guess everyone else is going to wait until everything is finalised enough that I can let it be known. I do feel important that I have a secret. I never got told secrets as a kid, because I guess I must look untrustworthy. Which is a nice feeling to get when you are 13.  Nothing has changed, but I think it is because I am no longer in a situation where whispering rumours in class is no longer a factor in my existance.

No. Now the whispering is done on the bus, at work or at a coffee shop. Because that is how grown up I really am. 😉

Flattening of The World (basic)

I am in the midst of reading a book called The World Is Flat, by journalist Thomas L Friedman. It is a book on how globalisation has flattened the world as we know it.

I know that, as an initial concept, most people think, but the world is round, Christopher Columbus was wrong. But I am not talking about how the world is geographically shaped. I am talking about how people and businesses can work freely, on a levelled out playing field. This does seem rather bizarre at first thoughts, because every country operates individually, no matter where it is in the world. Before the days of high speed internet connections and outsourcing, this maybe was true, but not so any more.

Internet connections meant that people could communicate with anyone, no matter where they are. Send someone an email, and within 5 seconds they have received it. To understand how this happened, you need to know more about the history of the internet, something which I may cover at a later date, but not right now. Billions of pounds was spent on running cabling from country to country, so that the world became interconnect, hence it being dubbed the World Wide Web. This connected people together from all corners of the world. You can be sitting in your house in Glasgow, and playing Call of Duty through your X Box with someone in Australia. It is crazy, when you think how easy it is to now contact people. Especially when we think of the little bubble of communication people had before the internet. Before it was free to talk to people all over the world and share ideas. People began to learn how others lived, and realised that maybe people weren’t all that different.

As well as allowing people to become closer to others, the internet also became a major assets to companies. Initially, in the early days of the internet, companies were able to put several computers and offices on networks, where they could easily transfer information from one place to another. It was more cost effective than physically sending the information to the required person, and it was easy to manage. As the internet became more wide-spread, more commercial, more global, rather than just communicate between offices, companies were able to communicate with people in other countries in the same way. This lead to countries like India and China being used to complete work for Western companies, for a cheaper rate than what would be paid in their home country. Everything from manufacturing to remedial accounting was outsourced. Whilst there has been a lot of negativity about outsourcing, in that it is giving away work to other countries, etc., it is not entirely negative. When a British company opens up a 24 hour customer service line, it may be a financial struggle, due to the fact that UK based workers would require extra pay for working ‘unsociable hours’. So by getting in contact with an international outsource agency, in say Bangalore, they can hire workers to work these ‘unsociable hours’ without costing too much money. This saving allows the company to expand in other areas, and focus it’s local workers on more taxing tasks, where the people abroad get the remedial work. To a company, that means they can get more out of their staff, and get their money to work for them more.

It also has educated people in countries where outsourcing is popular, so that they can start working for themselves. So it actually becomes beneficial for their country. And in manufacturing, where US and European companies send products to be made in China, the Chinese learn how to successfully manufacture, and can then do it themselves. They can then create their own companies, which can compete with their Western counterparts.

It is giving more people the same opportunities. It is levelling out the world. No longer is the West were the power is, where the best manufacturing is. At the moment countries like America and the UK are the designers, soon, very soon, it will be China and India doing the designing, and what will we do then. I don’t know if the Western world is ready for such a shift in power.

Creativity Waves

I don’t know about other people, but I am the kind of person that struggles to keep inspired all day. I go through waves of motivation. There can be little spurts during the day, where I will punch the air dramatically and do something of any worth.

Usually it happens in the morning, where I get up (if I get up) and I feel all motivated. The second time, where I do most work and things, is at night after work. Bare in mind I finish work at 11pm. By the time I get home, and get all fed, I am sitting at 1am twiddling my thumbs. This is where I find I am most creative. I read, draw and write (obviously).

I think I like that everyone else is asleep. I find something really calming about that. Kind of like I am the only one in the world, and it is all for me. *coughs* Or something equally crazy.  I just find it a good time to take stock and do something productive. My friend things it is nothing but rebellion. Like I don’t do things when I am supposed to, I live by my own rules. Because every rebel sits up past 2am drawing ponies and writing blogs. -.-

Saying Goodbye Is Refreshing

If a person feels a little bad about life, and a bit undecided about their place in life, a good thing to do is a bit of a clean out. When I say ‘clean out’ I mean getting rid of actual possessions.

A big thing is to throw out a lot of clutter that has been gathered over the past few years. The big part where I need to ‘revitalise’ is my closet. Mostly because I have a lot of old band shirts and hoodies that I don’t wear, and haven’t worn in years. So I bit the bullet, and decided that if I haven’t worn something in the last year, it is gone. Hence the almost two bin bags filled with clothes. That is clothes that has been taking up space, when I have no intention of using them. It’s the same with books. I have a lot of comic books that I no longer read, that would maybe be enjoyed by someone else. So, going to try and get rid of a lot of it.

And to be honest, organising everything is very motivating. It is giving me a lot of perspective, and letting me say goodbye to the person I used to be. I am not the girl who still mopes around in a Slipknot hoodie. I am more about buying basic clothes, like shirts and customising them. It gives me clothes which are unique, and seem to match my ethos a lot better. I mean, a shirt that has bleach on it from dying my hair, and putting more bleach on it, so it looks a bit more balanced. People buy clothing which has been ‘man handled’ by someone else, because they think it seems original. Buy cheaper jeans and customise them yourself.

I feel for once in my life, my clothing effects me, and it looks happier. It shows a girl who is no longer afraid of her figure. I am proud of who I have become as an adult, and I feel that my fashion sense should convey that. I am finding that having things which brings up thoughts of the unhappy person, is still making me sad. So if I get rid a lot of these bad memories, like cleaning away the cobwebs, I am sure things will start to look up.

Yes, I will always wear band shirts and jeans, but I hope to be a bit more ‘me’ with it all.

Self-expression for the win!!

Gather Thoughts

I like to think that everyone has certain points of their life, where they slow down and evaluate their existence and place in the world.

Due to the high volume of time I spend on my own, this happens a lot to me. I find myself looking at what others are doing, and then look upon my own life. This, obviously, gets in a rather low mood. I guess when looking at other people, I have the habit of focusing on their successes, whilst looking at my failures. Trust me, I have a lot of failure.

I’m trying not to go into too much self-wallowing detail, seeing as I have already had more than one rant about it on other blogging services I use. I guess, I like to use this blog to help me think more constructive than destructive. Like, to try and rationalise the crazy which is bouncing around in my brain.  And I’ll tell you something, it helps. It helps that I have a place to write weepy, mopy blogs, but then I have this, where I can try and be a bit more thoughtful about my feelings.

I guess emotion really is like a rollercoaster, just as the Ronan Keating abomination says. I think I want to say to anyone reading, if you feel depressed about something, let it out.  It is okay to be sad. I think that as soon as you accept it, things become a lot more manageable. At the moment, my depression, and how I act with it, is the big change. And although I complain about work, I guess, learning to deal with myself is the big thing. I can now cope with my irrational mood swings and crying for no reason. I know that if I keep on trudging on, I do feel better.