I like to think that everyone has certain points of their life, where they slow down and evaluate their existence and place in the world.
Due to the high volume of time I spend on my own, this happens a lot to me. I find myself looking at what others are doing, and then look upon my own life. This, obviously, gets in a rather low mood. I guess when looking at other people, I have the habit of focusing on their successes, whilst looking at my failures. Trust me, I have a lot of failure.
I’m trying not to go into too much self-wallowing detail, seeing as I have already had more than one rant about it on other blogging services I use. I guess, I like to use this blog to help me think more constructive than destructive. Like, to try and rationalise the crazy which is bouncing around in my brain. And I’ll tell you something, it helps. It helps that I have a place to write weepy, mopy blogs, but then I have this, where I can try and be a bit more thoughtful about my feelings.
I guess emotion really is like a rollercoaster, just as the Ronan Keating abomination says. I think I want to say to anyone reading, if you feel depressed about something, let it out. It is okay to be sad. I think that as soon as you accept it, things become a lot more manageable. At the moment, my depression, and how I act with it, is the big change. And although I complain about work, I guess, learning to deal with myself is the big thing. I can now cope with my irrational mood swings and crying for no reason. I know that if I keep on trudging on, I do feel better.