Tag: thoughts

Run Like The Wind, Bullseye!

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

This would be an update, if there was anything of value to update about. There isn’t so it’s not. Simple.

I hope that everyone on the land of the internet had a happy Christmas, or whatever winter holiday it is you may celebrate. Even if you didn’t have any celebratory holidays, then I hope you are enjoying winter and all the warmth that comes with it. Unless it is summer where you are… I give up.

I like Christmas. I like that it is a time where life slows down, and you can spend time with those you love. Christmas, like all religious holidays, has been picked on for effecting state too much, and that there should be less focus on it. I find that this is unsettling. People are becoming very intolerant over what others do. If someone wants to celebrate something, why shouldn’t they? People shouldn’t be offended if it does no harm to anyone. There is enough bad feeling in this world, without stomping over people’s time of celebration.

The truth is, I don’t particular link myself to any religion. But as a child I went to Sunday School, I had a bible, I learnt the stories. To me, as a book worm, I loved the books I would get, and hence grew up on the stories. And that is what they were to me, stories that had lessons and morality. As a child, these bible stories were nothing different to the fairy stories I read. And my ethics on the whole thing hasn’t changed. Noah and the Ark is still a brilliant story all these years later, and I can see why people find comfort in it.

It must be great thinking that someone is keeping an eye on you from above, there to guide you in the right direction. I don’t believe it, but I do respect those who do have faith in something like that. I need to see proof and think too much about the logics of religion, which leaves me a bit cold about the whole ‘greater being’ thing. But I do like the lessons and the characters. I can see why people do look to find answers in religion, as it tries to teach you lessons throughout the various books and scriptures. It is comfort, it is direction, it helps bring famillies together and gives people a reason to be alive.

Why, if a book can give so much hope to a person, would you want them to stop celebrating what they have discovered? If it doesn’t harm you, why harm them and what they do?

*Irrelevant blog titles a go-go. 🙂 I know this may not make sense, but hey it’s a few things I have been thinking about. *

Illusions of Grandeur

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I don’t have an issue with people who have self-belief, I mean, it is that belief that helps a person achieve. So to achieve something, you need to have a little bit of confidence about yourself. I have an issue with people who pull others down, to make themselves look better.

And it happens everywhere. Rather than giving someone kudos for achieving what they want, people feel the need to bring the person down by demeaning themselves to make the achievement seem less worthy. It is just a person’s need to feel superior. It is strange, because most of the time people do it without thinking. Like, it is some natural instinct. Which is not too hard to imagine, when you think that other animals try to make others look weaker, so they can get a mate, etc.  Which makes you wonder, how much of this behaviour is us acting natural.

So whilst I frown about the behaviour of a ‘put-down’, I can only really disagree with people who do it on purpose. Like, they want to make that person miserable. That is something I don’t understand, why would it make someone feel better, to make another person sad? Surely I can’t be the only person who feels like this? I mean, I don’t see where a person can draw the line. If you attack someone because they annoy you for being happy, and it makes you better to change their mood, what are you next going to do to make you feel better? Is making someone sad going to become like a thrill to you? What are you going to stop at to get that thrill?

To be honest, everyone is the same. People have good things happen and bad things. It doesn’t mean you should avenge people who have good things happen to them. Because that feeling of achievement you may get from ‘knocking someone down a peg or two’, will only be short lived, and you will hurt someone else.

So if you catch yourself trying to kill someone’s good time, stop. Because if there is one thing the world doesn’t need is someone trying to spread more negativity.

Happy July

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I feel like July should be celebrated for a few reasons.

1) It’s closer to my holidays, and much needed time off work. It feels as though the end is actually in sight. I am actually on holiday the first 2 weeks in August, and am beginning to countdown. This year I am spending another week in Blackpool, for Rebellion punk festival. It really is the highlight of my year, and I am so excited to go.

2) The weather is getting nicer. Yes, even in Scotland, the land of perma-rain, there is a notable improvement in the number of hours we get sunshine. And it isn’t the sun hiding behind a clump of grey clouds, it is blue skies and actual warmth. It’s the kind of weather where I could easily sit outside with a few beers and some good music.

3) Every month, nay every day should be welcomed with open arms. Not everyone gets to enjoy the freedoms that we do, so I feel we should take a moment and be grateful. If you do, and look at the things that make you happy, you will be a happier person as your mind will be in that mindset. So if you read this, do something that makes you happy. Yes work may suck, but do something fun outside of work that makes you smile.

You will notice that the person of the last few entries is a much happier person of past blogs. This is a mixture of reasons, one which is the nice weather. I am sure sunshine benefits everyone in that way, as it just makes everything seem so much happier in general.

I have also went into work with the idea that I will kick its ass. Basically, head down and focus on what I need to do. Basically forcing myself out of the lethargy I seemed so comfortable in. The best thing is, that I can see results, both in my productivity in work and my general attitude.

So doing what I do best and sharing, because good moods are contagious. So give in to summer, and go have yourself a wonderful first of July.

xox

Fall Behind?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

When you are in the habit of updating things regularly, you get into a habit. You can mentally check off the things you are doing, and get them done rather quickly. But when you fall out of habit, it is hard to start back up again. Well, not hard, in that the task it hard, it is finding the time to do everything.

This is a position I am finding myself in right now. Where I usually do so much online, that I find it taking up a large percentage of my day. Which is fine, until I began to pick up other things to fill my time, and the original activities kind of get pushed to the side. It is not that I am enjoying the tasks any less. It is more that I am finding less time to do what I want. Which is a pain.

Also, I have been in a much better mood than I have been lately, and I think that is a major factor in my writing and what I decide to do with my time. If I am depressed, I find nothing better than locking myself away, and writing away to myself. It is release. But when you have nothing to release from, and you want to be out enjoying the world, it becomes a different scenario. I think that is a big reason as to why June has been a quiet month on every website I go on. I have been doing things other than sitting in front of a computer all day. Which is sad really, because I have so much I want to talk about, either on here, or on YouTube, and I don’t seem to have the time to prepare them. So instead of a well thought out topic, you get an apologetic, ramble of  word vomit, thinly disguised as a blog attempting to make a point. Something which it fails miserably in.

Hopefully this is the last check-in post for a while, and things should be back to topical goodness as soon as I can afford to spend the appropriate amount of time on it. If I can’t, then I feel I should issue a warning about the word vomit. But, then I think, it is a blog, it is personal, and it is mine. So I shouldn’t really need to disclaim or apologise. But yet, I feel my grovelling is necessary. *sigh*

Gather Thoughts

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I like to think that everyone has certain points of their life, where they slow down and evaluate their existence and place in the world.

Due to the high volume of time I spend on my own, this happens a lot to me. I find myself looking at what others are doing, and then look upon my own life. This, obviously, gets in a rather low mood. I guess when looking at other people, I have the habit of focusing on their successes, whilst looking at my failures. Trust me, I have a lot of failure.

I’m trying not to go into too much self-wallowing detail, seeing as I have already had more than one rant about it on other blogging services I use. I guess, I like to use this blog to help me think more constructive than destructive. Like, to try and rationalise the crazy which is bouncing around in my brain.  And I’ll tell you something, it helps. It helps that I have a place to write weepy, mopy blogs, but then I have this, where I can try and be a bit more thoughtful about my feelings.

I guess emotion really is like a rollercoaster, just as the Ronan Keating abomination says. I think I want to say to anyone reading, if you feel depressed about something, let it out.  It is okay to be sad. I think that as soon as you accept it, things become a lot more manageable. At the moment, my depression, and how I act with it, is the big change. And although I complain about work, I guess, learning to deal with myself is the big thing. I can now cope with my irrational mood swings and crying for no reason. I know that if I keep on trudging on, I do feel better.

Imperfect Hero

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

When I was younger, I had this obsession about a boyband called a1. They were a band who had some success through Europe and Asia in the early 2000s. I loved this band, especially the baby of the band, Ben Adams. Where I think most of the attraction was that he was only 3 years older than me. It was one of the first times, I ever felt that someone my age, could do something, like become a pop star. They were no different from any other pop band, which were EVERYWHERE in the pop scene in the UK at that time. There was Steps, S Club 7, Westlife…and lots of bands who were proud to be pop. Whereas now, calling a band pop, is like giving them a curse. But it was all good, innocent music, which I am sure a lot of other people I know will admit to liking.

But this illusion I had was shattered, when I realised Ben Adams has his own blog. I felt I should check it out. I don’t know why I did, maybe it was just curiosity. But I found no grammar, no anything. I mean, there was no full stops or capital letters. It was a mess. And bang went any respect I had left. I mean, sure, write if you want, but at least make an effort for things to be readable. I know that I am not the most articulate of writers, and my grammar is mostly pot-luck, but at least I try. I mean, I enjoy writing, which I why I do this. To see someone who I used to adore so much, be so thoughtless in what he is posting, kinda left me gutted.

I guess that is one of the things about any person who inspires you. You only see one aspect of that person, and your brain engineers them to be something perfect. And you end up thinking that this person won’t ever do anything wrong. But they do. Or, they do something which seems wrong to you, and that is your illusion and perception shattered. And once you start thinking like that, they will never have the same status to you again. And, no matter how much you have moved on, you will always be crestfallen, that the person that you admired was never the person you thought they were. And you want to know, how much of the things you thought you knew about this person was lies. Lies just to get you, and many other little girls, to connect to a person which was sold like a product.

The guilty blog is here. And as you can see, there is no use at all for capital letters. -.-

Thinkings of 20\12

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

When people ask me what type of girl I am, I never know exactly what to say to them. I mean I have the answer, where I say I love music and literature, but it always sounds a bit vague for someone to get an actual idea of what I’m like.

Well, today I found the perfect way to explain me and how crazy I am. I am the kind of girl who sees typographic wrapping paper, and gets more excited than a 3 year old after too many E numbers. Yes, I got all stupid in public over cheap wrapping paper. And it was really, really cheap, 3 rolls for £1, wrapping paper.

Anyways, I am not a big fan of shopping, and Christmas is the worst time of the year for me to be in a shopping centre. I am a short tempered, no-nonsense, in shops and out again, kind of shopper. And Christmas shoppers just ruin my routine of getting things done as quick as possible. So I get more aggravated, to the point I simply wish I hadn’t bothered.
In an odd moment of anger fuelled reflection, I went into the book shop and found myself reading the nativity story in the Good News Bible. The same bible I had when I went to church as a kid. Now, I am not a person who takes religion seriously, but I can see why people look at the bible to enlighten them. I mean, how has the simple story of the birth of a baby, transformed into people forcing themselves to go shopping? Its crazy.

I get people christmas presents, because I like the idea of giving people things that they’ll treasure and need. Its not about what’s biggest or most expensive, I like the idea of getting someone a gift they will use. Unfortunately, not everyone puts that much thought into things.

But then I look on something, like wrapping paper, that I think looks awesome, and know its just going to be thrown out when the presents are opened. It is rather annoying, but I guess that’s what happens when you give things to others. *shrugs*

Put Out The Positive

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

There is an old saying (dunno where from), I read somewhere, which said that you get out of life, what you put in. It’s basically taking ownership for your own life, and making things happen. If things go wrong, it’s because of what you have done something wrong yourself.

I suppose it’s similar to the idea of Karma, where your actions come back to you. So if you are nice to someone, someone will be nice to you.

It is something psychological, where if you think negatively about things that happen, then you focus on the negative things. So if you are in a happier state of mind, your outlook on life would be happier

Well in theory, that should work. So, gonna try a little bit of positivity, and see if life picks up a bit. Hopefully it does.

I Walk An Empty Road

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I like to think myself as an independent person. I like to spend time on my own, be it reading, watching TV shows or just thinking about things.

This wasn’t something I just stumbled on, this is something that was thrusted on me during High School, where I would spend my times after school in solitary confinement. I was not one of these people with loads of friends, who went out drinking from when they became a teenager. I was happy, sitting listening to music, reading a book.

Neither my brother or sister ever liked reading, and yet is something that I am so passionate about. It’s strange how that happens. I am polar-opposite to my brother sister, never been popular or interested in fashion. I just like what I like. *Shrugs* It’s the best way to be. I know that I love reading a book, that just takes me away into another world. I think it also helps that I am a total dreamer. I fantasize about so many different things, like what would we do under zombie attack.

Come on, that stuff is important. It is.

I guess, being a lonely soul, I’d like to say I don’t have the need to please people. But I do. We need human contact, its something we crave. The approval of others, as if it makes our own existence, that much more worthwhile. It’s utter shit, of course. But someone approving what you do, will always make you feel better. So is everything that you do, there to gain approval of others?

It sounds strange, but because I am pretty forthcoming with my theories and how I live, I do get people saying ‘I wish I could be like that’. Although I should just say, ‘well, do what you believe in’, I end up with this warmth. I think it is nice to know that not everybody thinks I am a babbling idiot, which to be honest, I am. But, it’s like someone giving you moral support. Its nice! And it is really comforting. That’s not why I do what I do, but it does make you think if we subconsciously go searching for approval.

Hmmmm……

Opinions

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

People seem to get confused on what an opinion is. If you state an opinion, it is your thoughts, who is anyone to tell you whether they are right or wrong.

But also, whilst people have no issues expressing their own opinion, they can’t accept that there is other opinions. For instance, last night I had a converstation with someone about Hannah Montana. Now whilst this tween phenomenon is not to my taste, I can understand why kids may like it. Its a girl who goes to school, who has a double life as a famous pop star. To me, its not much different than seeing Clark Kent’s double life, and wishing that was you. To have a boring normal life, and then be all fantastic and exciting at the same time? I mean every kid has wanted something like that.

Now I’m not saying Hannah Montana is a superhero, but you can see what kids would see in her.

But this girl, kept on saying that the show was terrible, and all her fans would grow up to be whores. I find that a huge stereotype. Its like saying that all kids who listen to rock music are self-harmers. Its not true, and it is there to make people feel better about themselves.

Almost as if that girl needed to validate whý she didn’t like Hannah Montana. Why do people have such a problem in just stating an opinion, without making excuses for themselves.