I like to think myself as an independent person. I like to spend time on my own, be it reading, watching TV shows or just thinking about things.
This wasn’t something I just stumbled on, this is something that was thrusted on me during High School, where I would spend my times after school in solitary confinement. I was not one of these people with loads of friends, who went out drinking from when they became a teenager. I was happy, sitting listening to music, reading a book.
Neither my brother or sister ever liked reading, and yet is something that I am so passionate about. It’s strange how that happens. I am polar-opposite to my brother sister, never been popular or interested in fashion. I just like what I like. *Shrugs* It’s the best way to be. I know that I love reading a book, that just takes me away into another world. I think it also helps that I am a total dreamer. I fantasize about so many different things, like what would we do under zombie attack.
Come on, that stuff is important. It is.
I guess, being a lonely soul, I’d like to say I don’t have the need to please people. But I do. We need human contact, its something we crave. The approval of others, as if it makes our own existence, that much more worthwhile. It’s utter shit, of course. But someone approving what you do, will always make you feel better. So is everything that you do, there to gain approval of others?
It sounds strange, but because I am pretty forthcoming with my theories and how I live, I do get people saying ‘I wish I could be like that’. Although I should just say, ‘well, do what you believe in’, I end up with this warmth. I think it is nice to know that not everybody thinks I am a babbling idiot, which to be honest, I am. But, it’s like someone giving you moral support. Its nice! And it is really comforting. That’s not why I do what I do, but it does make you think if we subconsciously go searching for approval.