Computer Says No

I have spent the last 10 minutes getting my iPhone to charge using a cable with a loose connection. Again, I curse at technology as my phone dies, and I have to search around for another cable, of which I have came into ownership of a ton. And only about half of them actually work.

This hasn’t been my only issue with technology recently. I have had to use a lot of computers at work, which are shared. Like sometimes more than one account can be logged into the PC at a time. Which is handy when there is limited computers available, but not very good when you rely on the PC being fast. To do the job I do, I need multiple programmes open at once, and I must be able to jump between them all seemlessly. This does happen, when someone on another profile jams the print queue, and just logs out. And it happens a lot, and the only way to fix is to restart everything. Which takes way too long. 

So, to humour myself the other day whilst my PC was resetting, I thought of a few things that could be done whilst waiting for a work PC to load.

1) Have a cup of tea, even watching the kettle boil would be quicker than the PC. 

2) Do the Metro crossword. And that includes colouring in boxes so that my words fit. 

3) Annoy several colleagues by singing Christmas songs. 

4) Attend a First Aid incident. It’s okay, I am trained.

5) Go for a walk and see how other colleagues are doing. 

6) Sweep the floor and tidy up. At a push. 

7) Cry at the pile of work getting bigger, that you can do nothing about. 

8) Try to give ‘new starts’ directions, and confusing them when I say ‘right’ and point left.

9) Go to stores and refill all the paper and pen supplies.

10) Realise that I would be quicker doing everything manually.

Sleepy, no sleep.

Because of the wonderful cough which is ruling my life at the moment, I am not sleeping too good. So, I thought I’d post a we list of the things I do, to pass the time during the twilight hours. 

1. Watch TV in the dark.

2. Do a little drawing/ colouring

3. Lay back with headphones on listening to an album I haven’t heard in a long time.

4. Watch yet another episode of Pretty Little Liars- I will catch up one day.

5. Play Bejewelled on my phone. 

6. Play Mario Kart on 3DS. 

7. Throw 3DS across my bed because I fell off Rainbow Road for the umpteenth time.

8. Write in my journal. My paper journal. 

9. Try to tidy up, without waking up the rest of the house.

10. Catch up on some reading. 

What do you do when you can’t sleep? Cause we all have those nights where we see in every hour. 

How I relax

I am a total stress-head about a lot of what happens every day. I can completely panic unnecessarily over nothing. I try to find one way to relax every d ay. Here is a few of my favourite things that helps me relax a little.

1) Listening to a random album whilst I travel on the bus home. Staring out the window and listening to some cheesy music really helps me relax. Any stress that I have felt over the day just melts away, and my mood is totally uplifted.

2) A hot bubble bath is also something that has become a regular occurrence for me. Because I work on my feet, and can easily walk over 5 miles every day. It is something that is good for my health, but can sometimes hurt my feet and legs. I get tendonitis, have done since I was a teenager, and that means that it doesn’t take much for my body to start hurting and swelling up. A bath is good, because it soothes my muscles, and makes it a lot easier for sleeping. If I don’t have a bath when in pain, I can’t sleep at night, which just leads to other issues.

3) I never used to watch much TV, as it bores me. If I start to watch a series, I always forget a part, and then get lost. So I don’t watch a lot when I am on my own. However, after a long day at work, I have grown to like sitting with other members of my family watching random TV. I think it is the companionship that relaxes me, the fact that I am not having to be on my own.

4) If I wake up in a bad mood, which happens more than I’d like to admit, a walk in the fresh air can make me feel better. It doesn’t have to be a long walk, just a nip round the block can be enough to get the blood pumping and motivate me for the day. I also love walking down to the sea, which is right next to the town where I live. I like sitting looking into the water, and looking across the Forth towards Edinburgh. I find the sound and smell of the sea very relaxing.

5)If it is sunny there is nothing more relaxing that reading a book in the garden. It is one of the things I love most about summer, it being warm enough to sit outside. It doesn’t have to be my garden, I’ll walk down the local park, or even just find a bench to read on. It helps block out everyone around me, and chills me out, especially if it is a good book.

In the world we live in, there is pressure everywhere, so it is important to find ways to escape from those pressures. But different people find different things relaxing. So, what do you do when you need to chill out?

Things Making Me Happy Right Now

1) Hot baths after long days at work.

2) A good book to get into, where I can read big sections at a time.

3) Watch a Disney movie, preferably one with lots of catchy songs.

4) Being early for work, so I can have a cup of tea before I start.

5) Watching history and wildlife documentaries on TV.

6) When I can focus on something, and my brain doesn’t get in the way with overthinking.

7) My winter jacket keeps me nice and warm, particularly this strong wind we’ve been having lately.

8) Monster Munch are so tasty. Love them.

9) Waking up in enough time that I can lie and read before having to actually get up.

10) Listening to Blink 182, Sum 41, Simple Plan, remembering when I found life a wee bit easier. But easy doesn’t mean better.

Happy List

I haven’t been posting the last week or so, because I have been struggling to come up with anything constructive. I have had a few really bad anxiety days, and haven’t been able to focus on anything but that. So, in a bid to distract myself, I thought a little list of things that have made me happy over this last week. A bit of a reminder that life isn’t all bad.

-Music has helped me relax. There was a stage where I believed music was everything, but it isn’t. It just helps block out the bad thoughts and the irritants around me. It helps me focus on what I need to do for myself, which is what I need to do. Because it feels like noone else gives a shit about what happens to me, so I’d better start.

-Going for walks. I am rather lucky that I live in a place where I can walk through towns, forests or through towns. I find walking super relaxing and chills me out a lot. I can do a lot of thinking, and it is super good for my health. I don’t do enough for my health really.

-The weather has been pretty awesome. I am not a person who loves the heat, but the fact that it has been dry is enough to put me in a kick ass mood. The fact that the sun has been out when I go and finish work has had such an impact on my mood. Because I think that it is a little depressing when it feels you miss the whole world. And when the days are longer, it makes you feel like there is more going on for longer. Sounds daft, but it’s true.

-Working hard helps me forget my problems sometimes. It can be super busy at work sometimes, and because you are physically moving all day, it can help forget worries. But you have to be able to let yourself become absorbed by what your doing, which can be hard when your brain is going a million miles an hour.

-Having a strong sense of who I am, and the person I want to be. The last week or so, several people have attacked me personally, for how I act or what I believe in. I have been called a tease because I told a guy I was gay, and didn’t to go home with him. I have been called a bitch because I am offended when some of my so called friends told me I over-reacted. If I was drunker, that man could have taken me home with him for god knows what, despite me saying I am gay. That is disgusting. I didn’t do anything wrong, and am confident enough to know that, to know that society is wrong. They make excuses time and time again for men who think it is their right to have sex with whatever women they chose. I am proud that I stood up for myself, no matter how horrible I felt.

Christmas Eve: Being Thankful

Every year, on Christmas eve, I write a list of things that I am greatful for. Christmas has a tendency to be a bit hard for me, emotionally, and this gives me a boost. And this year, I felt I would post my list publicly, because it is a great idea to make a person feel good.

*My family. I’ll be honest to say that a lot of the time we just rub each other the wrong way, and seem to be arguing a lot. But, I know, that they will support me when things get really bad. I don’t have an other half or friend close enough, and my mum will always give me a shoulder to cry in. I don’t know where I’d be without my family, and Christmas means so much because it is the one time where we are all together. And it’s great.

*A home. A home is a house which becomes part of a person’s memory, their life. This wee house has been the only home I’ve known. It has seen pets come and go, beaten off the frequent gail force winds, and house a family as it grew. There is a sense of warmth remembering all I have been through here. The toddler tantrums, the numerous burning of toast, the street parties, the pets, everything that has happened here. And I am grateful to have had such a place to live my life.

*A job. Going back a year, I don’t think I appreciated how much it meant to me to have a job. But it does. And it took being unemployed to realise that. As well as the obvious money, my job gave me confidence. After numerous knock-backs, to get started somewhere felt great. And even better than I am good at the job I have been employed for. I get a satisfaction that I haven’t had for a long time. And it is a great feeling, a feeling that I maybe can be useful.

*My friends. I am the first to admit that I am probably not the best friend to have. I don’t voice my appreciation and I don’t contact folk enough. The good thing is, that I know that I could turn to any one of my friends, and they’d listen and support me. This is something that has given me great strength this year, particularly when I really needed it. The thing that I really appreciate, is that despite my downfalls, my friends don’t judge. And when I feel like everyone is judging me, it’s nice to have people who don’t. They allow me to be myself, and for that I am eternally grateful.


I hope all my readers have a great Christmas, and that you all have the best times with those you love. Have a good one. xx

What I’m Listening To- August

Because I enjoyed it last time, I have made another list of the music that I have been listening to in August. Just a little bit of everything, and I get to do my favourite thing, make a list. A list about music, my favourite thing. 

1) Adamski- Killer

2)Agnostic Front- Liberty

3)Alex Day- Lady Godiva

4)Alexisonfire- Mailbox Arson

5)All Time Low- Alejandro (BBC 1 live lounge)

6)Annotation of an Autopsy- Sludge City

7)Anti-Flag- Die For Your Government

8)Atomic Kitten- I Want Your Live

9)Avril Lavigne- Losing Grip

10)B*Witched- Jesse Hold On

11)Bad Brains- Re-Ignition

12)The Beat-Tears of a Clown

13)Beatnic Prestige- Charlie Brown

14)Big D And The Kids Table- Not Fucking Around

15)The Blackout- This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

16)Bon Jovi- Wanted Dead Or Alive

17)Care Bears On Fire- Get Over It

18)The Casualties- System Failed Us…Again

19)Circle Jerks- Back Against The Wall

20)The Creepshow- Run For Your Life

21)The Distillers- The World Comes Tumblin’

22)Emilie Autumn- All My Loving

23)Eminem- When I’m Gone

24)Florence & The Machine- Dog Days Are Over

25)Frightened Rabbit- Go Go Girls

26)GBH- The Prayer Of A Realist

27)A Global Threat- Stop The Violence

28)Good Charlotte- The World Is Black

29)Green Day- Jesus Of Suburbia

30)Gwen Stefani- Harajuku Girls

31)H20- Everready

32)Hanson- Thinking ‘Bout Somethin’

33)Hollywood Holt- Fall Back

34)Horrorpops- Walk Like A Zombie

35)Jack Off Jill- My Cat

36)Jamie Cullum- Everlasting Love

37)Kilswitch Engage- As Daylight Ends

38)Kisses For Kings- My Mother Said

39)Kittie- Spit

40)Korn- Freak On A Leish

41)Lady Sovereign- I Got You Dancing

42)Lamb of God- Blood Junkie

43)Lars Frederiksen & The Bastards- Mainlining Murder

44)Linkin Park- Enth E Nd (Kutmasta Kurt ft. Motion Man)

45)The Maine- If I Only Had The Heart

46) Marina & The Diamonds- Hollywood

47)Middle Finger Salute- Guts For Glory

48)Mis-Teeq- All I Want

49)The Moldy Peaches-  Anyone Else But You

50)Municipal Waste- Anyone Else But You

51)Nofx- Kill All The White Men

52)Outl4w- Sonic Youth

53)P!nk- Most Girls

54)Papa Roach- Last Resort

55)Paramore- Crushcrushcrush

56)Patti Smith- Redondo Beach

57)The Pretty Reckless- Make Me Wanna Die

58)The Rabble- The New Generation

59)Rancid- Life Won’t Wait

60)The Restarts- Gang Mentality

61)S Club 7- Everybody Wants Ya

62)Selena Gomez & The Scene- Love You Like A Love Song

63)Shakespeare’s Sister- Stay

64)Sham 69- If The Kids Are United

65)Sonic Boom Six- Totally Addicted To Bass

66)Spice Girls- Spice Up Your Life

67)SS-Kaliert- Until We Strike Back

68)Stereophonics- I Wouldn’t Believe Your Radio

69)Street Dogs- Hang ‘Em High

70)Sugababes- About You Know

71)Time Again- Street Walker

72)Total Chaos- Vacation To Violation

73)UK Subs- Keep On Running

74)The Unseen- Social Security

July Playlist

I have 8,116 songs on iTunes. This is great, but sometimes a little overwhelming. I can’t decide what to listen to, and sometimes putting your iPod on shuffle doesn’t do it. So, I decided to go through my iTunes and make a playlist. A playlist of 82 songs, which is a lot, but its what I wanted. The songs I picked, are noted below.

The Killers- All These Things I’ve Done
a1- Ready or Not
Good Charlotte- Sex On The Radio
Iron Maiden- 2 Minutes To Midnight
R.E.M.- Nightswimming
All Saints- Never Ever
Operation Ivy- Smiling
MGMT- Kids
Morrissey- First Of The Gang To Die
Amy MacDonald- Caledonia
No Doubt- Ex-Girlfriend
NOFX- Linoleum
Mest (feat Benji Madden)- Jaded (These Years)
Melanie C- I Turn To You
Lethal Bizzle (feat Kate Nash)- Look What You’ve Done
Linkin Park- One Step Closer
McFly- Room On The 3rd Floor
Lady Gaga- Bad Romance
Lady Sovereign- Love Me Or Hate Me
Amy Winehouse- Back To Black
Kei$ha- Dancing With Tears In My Eyes
Kings Of Leon- Sex Is On Fire
Horrorpops- Walk Like A Zombie
Jake Bugg- Trouble Town
Feeder- Just The Way I’m Feeling
The Exploited- Exploited Barmy Army
Ellie Goulding- Starry Eyed
Hanson- Where’s The Love
Deadmau5 & Kaskade- I Remember
Green Day- When I Come Around
Gwen Steffani (feat Akon)- Sweet Escape
Anti-Flag- 1 Trillion Dollars
Faithless- Insomnia
Fatboy Slim- Rockerfeller Skank
Goldblade- Riot! Riot!
East 17- House Of Love
Eminem- The Real Slim Shady
Dizzee Rascal- Sirens
Coldplay- Viva La Vida
The Distillers- Idoless
Dizzee Rascal & Armin Van Helden- Bonkers
Chumbawamba- Tubthumping
Blondie- Call Me
The Buzzcocks- Ever Fallen In Love
Buddy Holly- Earth Angel
The Casualties- For The Punx
Christina Aguilera- Fighter
Calvin Harris- Acceptable In The 80s
Anti-Nowhere League- I Hate People
Ashlee Simpson- Pieces Of Me
Atomic Kitten- See Ya
Avril Lavigne- Freak Out
Britney Spears- Toxic
Blink 182- Up All Night
The Bouncing Souls- Lean On Sheena
Patti Smith- My Generation
Rancid- Hoover Street
The Saturdays- Beggin’
Savage Garden- Truly Madly Deeply
Selena Gomez & The Scene- When The Sun Goes Down
Shakira- Don’t Bother
Sham 69- If The Kids Are United
Simple Plan- When I’m Gone
Skindred- You Can’t Stop It
Sonic Boom Six- Sound Of A Revolution
Sonic Boom Six- Northern Skies
Spice Girls- Who Do You Think You Are
SS-Kaliert- Make War Not Love
Steps- Last Thing On My Mind
Stereophonics- I Wouldn’t Believe Your Radio
Stiff Little Fingers- Johnny Was
Sum 41- In Too Deep
Teenage Bottlerocket- Mini Skirt
Time Again- Lines Are Faded
U.S. Bombs- The Contract
UK Subs- Teenage
The Veronicas- I Don’t Wanna Wait
Vice Squad- Business As Usual
Wednesday Night Heroes- Wash ‘Em Away
The Who- Baba O’Riley
I like a playlist I can leave on all day, which is why it was so long. I also like lists, so a list about music is like a strange part of heaven. What are your options with playlists, do you like long or short? Do you stick in specific genres? Or do you just keep your music on shuffle?

What have I been doing?

Well, in the last month I have:

*Shouted at 02 over the phone.

*Shouted at Xbox over the phone.

*Been lucky to get out of bed by noon EVERY DAY, and feeling sickened by it.

*Finally hit my gamerscore over 1,000 points. Ahem, I know it is poor.

*Got all over excited about seeing Good Charlotte in under a month.

*Applied for 8 jobs, and heard nothing back.

*Ran out of money 1 week before payday *rolls eyes*

*Paid for a bottle of juice at Tescos, using just coppers.

*Started a new DailyBooth acc, because I lost my old one (

*Bought a funky bag, it’s like white tiger print, so awesome.

*Downloaded Doritos Crash Course for free on Xbox

*Became agitated after falling in the water too much during Doritos Crash Course.

*Switched Xbox off, as I was becoming irritated.

*Got obsessed over Primeval, and reignited my obsession over Red Dwarf.

*Took lots of pretty photos, which are all on Flickr (



Been busy

Over the last week or so, I have been really busy.

*Reading Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, and writing notes on it*

*Listening to Oasis, Hanson, Stereophonics, a1 and other musical obsessions from my school days*

*Browsing for things to buy with pay, including John Green books, a Ravenclaw scarf, GC pre-order pack for cardiology and (yes, you read this right) a skirt*

*watching too many Vlogs, again*

*Barely seeing the people I live with. I’m starting to think its just me and my cat in the house*

*Watched Firefly, and remembered how awesome it is*

*Watched Lip Service and realised the BBC will never make a show as awesome as The L Word*

*Started drawing for the first time in ages- whoot*

*Realised how much I suck at Wii games, I am better at MW2 and Forza on Xbox*

*Registered for NaNoWriMo, and aim to reach the goal of writing a 50,000 word novel throughout the month of November*