-.-

Today is the day where I apparently break everything I touch.

Okay, slight exaggeration, but it feels like I have broken a lot. Really, I have broken two things. But both were important to me and what I do daily. *sigh*

First, I stood on my stereo headphones, breaking them in two. I can hear you all now. ‘Well, clean up after yourself.’ That helps NOONE! Especially not me, who can’t seem to find any superglue *scratches head*

And then, I tried to set up my camera to film, and I got my good ol’ tripod out, and the top has snapped off it. It’s the bit that the camera attaches to. So I have a desktop tripod with ‘bendy legs’, so spent ages attaching the small one to the big one, so I could then attach my camera. Seriously, looked really stupid. But it worked. *thumbs up*

Yeah…the excitement of my life right now. *sigh*

Holy Moley?!?

Trying to cut down on swearing. *nods* For no real reason, just felt like I should be acting a little bit more respectable. I’m not a child anymore, curse words shouldn’t be all that funny anymore.

Accept I find them hilarious and fart jokes hit my funny bone spot on. So I am never going to be as mature as I pretend I want to be. To be brutally honest, I don’t particularly want to to stop acting like a child. I mean, the few things I do, which are all about living as an adult (working, paying bills, actually dealing with things) are pretty over-rated. So I am quite content living in my bubble of perpentual adolescence.

But seeing as cursing is something that I do a lot, I figured ‘it’s just a few words’ so I decided to try and stop swearing. *shrugs* Can’t be that hard right? So far I have failed miserably, and am still cursing and everything. But part of me is thinking, why should I stop swearing. They are just words after all. It’s not the actual words that are offensive, it’s the thought processes people have connected to them.

And to be honest, right now, it seems like it would a lot easier to change the thought processes of the whole world, compared to not dropping the F-bomb.

Yeah. Fudge. It’s nice, you should go get some. πŸ˜‰

Picking Up Speaking Habits

So where do you get the small characteristics in your speech from?

Don’t be confused, I don’t actually mean behaviour traits. Because they tend to take years and years to develop. I am talking about little words and phrases you pick up from people you talk toΒ  or from people you watch .

What made me think of this? Well,Β  I have been watching Nat’s Community Channel videos on You Tube, and I have noticed she says ‘bro’ a lot. I then noticed me using it in conversation. And, I’m no Australian funny girl, so when I said it, I was met with that kind of uncomfortable silence where you start looking for the tumble weed.*sigh*

So some words don’t exactly suit every person, nor every situation. But hey, if you try out a ‘new word’ don’t be disappointed if you get a few laughs because of it, because there is usually at least one reason people in Scotland shouldn’t say ‘Bro’, especially when talking to a girl. :S But it is always interesting, because sometimes words to catch on. For instance ‘awesomesauce’, I heard from Canadian youtuber WaffleJon. And, it has been used by other youtubers, and now is used widely by people all over the place. And awesomesauce never gets so much as a chortle. Probably because it is AWESOME!!

So yeah, I am guilty of stealing words and phrases from other people. *nods* And I’m pretty sure it comes from something in childhood, where all kids would play the same game to fit in. So if someone you fancied at school said something cool, you would start saying the phrase, in a bit to fool yourself into thinking that you were close to said crush.

What? That was just me? Dunno what you’re talking about, because I have never done that. *cough*

I guess it is just how people are, they do pick up little things form those around them. And because speech is the most common way of communicating, it’s no surprise we adapt what we say. Pretty cool, when you think about it.

Want to know if anyone reading this, has any words they seem to have started saying as a direct influence from someone else. So let me know, bro.

Na, that is never gonna seem cool no matter how many times I say it.

Start Again.

So, it’s the start of yet another week, and almost on to the third month of the year. :S Does anyone know how I can slow time down a little, it seems to be going way too fast.

I don’t think that it’s helped with the fact, that because with my current financial woes, I have been wishing for payday. Something which is becoming a common occurence, I may add. But, it feels like I am wishing all my time away. It’s a nightmare that I have fallen into that pattern, where I am always looking to something else. It helps me get through my ‘bad days’, but it means that I am wishing my time away, and don’t enjoy life as much as I should.

I don’t know if this is a common thing, but I can’t help but feel like a bit of a waste of space. Mostly because I am not focusing on the here and now, which isn’t really dealing with anything. It’s like, ‘ignore problems and focus on something else’. Yeah it stops you feeling weighed down by stuff, but it doesn’t actually deal with what is causing me to feel so bad in the first place.

And even when I have a good day, I feel like I am walking on eggshells, until I mess up. It’s like I am waiting for something to go wrong. I mean, I do the best I can, but it never feels good enough. So I create these targets I aim for, like going to a gig or something, and I focus on that, and ignore my insecurities. Well, I can’t ignore them completely, as they will always be there, but I can put my worries to the back of mind.

Despite how good this is at the time, I don’t think it is very good in the long-term. *sigh*

Sunday Session

If a session is sitting in complete boredom for a whole day.

I am taking my Sunday to do some housework. Using all my energy I currently have, to do something proactive. Though, I am not quite sure how long it will last. I have been strangely hyper the last few days, and I don’t know why.

But, because it doesn’t happen very often, I feel I should act positive and try and utilise the energy into doing something. Which is good. I need to start turning things into positivity. Something that is easier said than done, sometimes. I think that it is sometimes easier to admit defeat, rather than confront something head-on. I don’t know if easier is the right word. Maybe, it’s more convenient.

But to actually get motivated to do something, is actually changing your mindset. You need to change the way you think and your attitude. And that is quite hard.

Especially when all you want to do is watch My Little Pony. :S

Messy Mess

I have sat and stared at this blog entry for 20 minutes. And this is the first thing I am writing in this little textbox. -.-

I am a strange mish-mash of feelings today. Mostly because I have so many things going on in my head right now. And it think it has combined to be one big mess of thoughts. I swear, if you could access my brain right now, you would be disgusted by the mess you would find (actually, same could also be said about my bedroom). I work best in a messy environment, because I can find a tidy one unsettling.

That surely means there is something wrong with me. I like a mess, I feel comfortable if I have papers and sketchbooks all over my floor. I know where everything is, so I don’t get in a panic, thinking I’ve lost anything. *thinks* That actually makes no sense whatsoever. Ach well, sense is over-rated. And besides, I think most people are messy, they just pretend they are tidy to give themselves a higher state of self-importance. It’s like, ‘I am better than you because you can see my floor’. *rolls eyes*

Now Playing:

The Exploited- Privacy Invasion

The Rabble- The New Generation

The Murderburgers- Snowing In April

Anarchy Camp!

What is anarchy?

Would an anarchist society work?

Anarchy is really living a life without rules. It’s about not answering to anyone, other than yourself. So if you lived in an anarchist society, you would be forced to be self-sufficent. You wouldn’t be able to scrounge of the government, because there wouldn’t be one. If you wanted something, you’d have to go out an get it.

This, as an idealism, sounds really positive, something that would encourage people to take responsibility for themselves, and not blame their worthless existance on those around them. But it would also mean no order. So whilst you will have people who would go and work for what they want, you would also have people who will not work, and just steal what others have worked for. This would then lead the ‘victim’ to look to punish the person who profited from their hard work. And this…is order. Something that true anarchism is against.

So it’s hard to see how an anarchist society would work, as people automatically will try and establish some kind of order to the chaos, therefore taking away from the level of chaos. It is something that makes people feel safe. It’s similar to the whole ‘knowledge is power’ mantra. If you know how a particular person (or group of people) is supposed to act, then it is settling, makes a person feel better. It’s like we are built in a way, that if we are aware of what is going on in the world, we will live happier in our own lives.

So whilst anarchism comes across as a nice idea, we will get to a point where we will crave the routine and the structure organised society brings. It would turn into a case of ‘the grass is greener on the other side’. Again, something which is in our nature. As people, we are constantly looking for something that works best for us, and like to think that if things did change, what would we get out of it. Everything we do, it comes down to how it would effect our lives, because that is all we know. Our own lives.

Now, I have been a part of the Scottish punk rock scene for the last 4/5 years of my life. Whilst it is centred around music, there are always going to be the fact that much of the roots of punk are based in the idea of anarchy. The degree in which people employ anarchy and punk in their lives varies, with some people spending their lives unemployed because they don’t want to conform. Others, like me, work a steady job, but try to live their life the way they want to, and fight for what they believe in. What ever part of the punk spectrum people fall into, there is no way around the fact even being unemployed is filling out a role in society.

Is the whole ‘I am unemployed because I’m an anarchist’ idea as flawed as I think it is? Most people who are unemployed get money from some kind of benefits, provided by the state. The state, get the money for these benefits from those who work and pay taxes. You form part of a system, something that anarchists are against. So unless you live off no money, don’t purchase anything at all (especially not those new Dr Martins you have there) and contribute sweet F.A. to the world around you, then NO! You are not a true anarchist.

Me, you, your neighbour? We are all part of something bigger than us, somthing that goes beyond modern society, back to our traits as pack animals. You can’t just opt out of that, because as a human, you need people around you. Contributing something, no matter how unimportant, will always make you feel distinguished because it is part of our psychology.

I have barely touched anything on this topic, and I really could go on more. I will possibly post more, but the whole ‘anarchy’ thing has been running through my head all day.

Saturday Faff!!

Because my mind is just numb, right now. No particular reason, it’s just reached it’s monthly usage limit, so has ceased to operate.

Seriously, I have a lot of work to do, as well is the exciting prospect of housework. So, in keeping with my current form, I have spent hours on DailyBooth. Actually learning how to use all the functions of the site properly. Also been exploring a new toy, aka TweetDeck. Something I tried a while ago, but just updated so having playing around with it. I’m using the desktop version, and it is making having EchoFon a bit redundant.

I have two essays, one article and other things I really need to do. *sigh* And the thing is, I have no idea from where the current workload has come from. To be honest, 99% of the work is created by me, and my amazing ability to volunteer for things, and then forget about them. -.- That is how awesomely organised I can be. But I guess everyone has their downfalls. I am just trying not to panic or rush anything. *deep breathes*

Been listening to Sonic Boom Six all day. An amazing band who kind of straddle the punk and hip-hop scene, and they do it all so well.

Here we go.

And now at number one is a cover version
Badly sung by someone who won a TV competition.
To start a full career that lasts all of one year,
Public don’t shed a tear, here comes another one!

They only in it for the money but they’re callin’ it punk-pop.
Another boy band on a video in Top Shop.
Forgot the message of The Clash and Public Enemy
To be graduate of fucking Fame Academy.
Tonight Matthew they’ll be head to toe
In their skater clothes singing a song about a punker show.
While punk bands count their fans on one hand
It ain’t easy being independent.

Question…

Why do they say it’s a shame
That every song is the same
When they only have themselves to blame?
(Get ready for another one.)

Another sound to consume (Yeah, get ready for another one.)
But we be dancing to a different tune.
They’ve hardly even begun (Yeah, get ready for another one.)
To manufacture the rape of punk to come.

Record company, mandem tell me
That radio need music be a likkle friendly.
Just like Di-bi-de they want to change we
But Laila got de individuality, check this…

Another number one is by a group that once
Had something good that’s gone
But then they took the money and run.

That woman used to be a role model for females
Until the boom in trucker cap and baggy jean sales.
And now she’s just representative for retail
And never dresses independent.

Question…

Where is the anger that burned
Against the wheels that turn?
I won’t believe that it’s dead and gone.
(Get ready for another one.)

Another sound to consume (Yeah, get ready for another one.)
But we be dancing to a different tune.
They’ve hardly even begun (C’mon, get ready for another one.)
To manufacture the rape of punk to… rape of punk come.

Yeah, must be the money!

So stand, be proud of this underground
That we have found, this is our sound.
Inside (We see them in their videos.)
this room (We see them on the TV shows.)
We are (Parading in their stolen clothes.)
as one, (It’s rebellion for six year olds.)
Beyond (The public is addicted.)
The rape (To homogenised pop-crack.)
Of punk (They pump it in your living room.)
To come. (It’s time to take it back.)

Another sound to consume (Get ready for another one.)
But we be dancing to a different tune.
They’ve hardly even begun (Yeah, get ready for another one. Ohh!)
To manufacture the rape of punk to… rape of punk to…
Rape of punk to… rape of punk to come.

Rape of Punk to come- Sonic Boom Six

 

Adventureland

Glasgow is my favourite City in the world. Some may say it’s because on a worldwide scale, I have no visited very many cities. But I’ll just dismiss that with a wave of my hand. I need to explain a little, or I feel I should. I spent a lot of time in Glasgow, about 8 years ago, when I was studying to be a Veterinary Nurse (something I failed due to my ability to flunk exams). But I stayed in Glasgow for a total of about 6 months out of the year, and I fell in love with the place. It is one of the few places I get really excited about visiting because it holds so many memories for me, and it is one of my dreams to move there.

++Clyde River- Glasgow City Centre++

Glasgow is a really warm city, and it feels really homely, well it does to me anyway. The people are so friendly and it just feels a buzz to be there. Like any city, it is seeing its fairshare of run-down areas, but there is movement in the right direction, with people trying to improve appearance. There are a few areas in the city centre, where there graffiti projects, which aims to make things that little bit brighter.

+Glasgow Graffiti++

But, of course, the reason I was at Glasgow was for Good Charlotte. Who I swear have the world’s most obsessed fans. When it started rain/hailing, it was only GC fans in the queue outside. Yes, I was there at 10am, when the venue opened at 6.30pm. All to make sure I got to the front. It was so worth it. The Wonder Years, Framing Hanley and Four Year Strong,Β  all played for half an hour each, whilst GC played for an hour and 20 minutes. And GC’s set seemed to go really, really fast. Was so awesome though, so worth all the waiting and everything.


++Benji Madden, Good Charlotte++

That picture of Benji from Good Charlotte. It is really out of focus after being told to switch the flash in my camera off, but I like it. It could be the subject matter *cough* or it could be it does look quite cool. Or to me it does anyway.

Aight!!

Going to go out today to take some photos.

I am working a couple of hours extra today, and would like to do something with my day, other than just work. So, heading to bank as I need to find out information to get my PayPal account verified. So I’ll get that done today, and then I have a few clients that can pay me via PayPal, seeing as they don’t want to deal bank-to-bank.

The headaches of doing things for people and them not wanting to pay. It’s like people expect me do give them free things, just out of the kindness of my heart. I mean, I can give things away to an extent, but not to the organising 40 flashbook pages for a business that is already doing well. Considering all the images had to be cleaned up, some re-sketched, and categorised, it was a lot of work to expected as a freebie. I did say a tattoo would be adequate payment, but they didn’t like that idea. -.-

So, I’m using it as an excuse to head up into town, take some pictures, and buy nothing. Because I am still broke. :S Still, it’s better than sitting around here all day. Doing nothing. Well till 3pm, considering that’s when I start work. I may continue to do nothing at work, but, sssshhhhhh, don’t tell anyone.

As you can tell, I am in a random mood today, possibly made possible, because I can say that I should be seeing GC at the flipside of this weekend. If you don’t know that GC is Good Charlotte, and are my absolute favourite band in the world, then :P. It has to be said that Good Charlotte fans (the GCfam) are awesome and are some of my best friends. I have had a lot of ‘inner problems’ in the last few weeks, mostly over-stress, and they are the best support ever.