So….after weeks of complaining, I am FINALLY being productive.
Score 1, to Sue.
*Victory dance*
Ok it is one think I did. So maybe I shouldn’t get too excited, but I can’t help it. I got so happy, I went over to Flash, and started animating my intro for my Vlogs. Yes, after months of being on Youtube, I am FINALLY making a proper intro rather than just use crappy text. YAY
For now, check my latest Vlog.
My imagination that is.
How is it, that I can be all inundated with creative thoughts when I am at work, but as soon as I get home and get stuff out, I have nothing. 
This is something that has been happening for the last few weeks. And, if you have read this blog before, you’ll be no stranger to the fact that I don’t cope well with having no motivation.
I have heard that once you put too much pressure on something, it can become harder to do. So because I am trying to force myself to be creative, it is a lot harder to actually do. It was easy in college to blame the projects for my inactivity, but now I can do the projects that I want. I can design things in my own style. I should have this massive sense of creative freedom, now that I am freed from the boundries of education.
But I don’t. I just sit in my room and procrastinate about my failings in life. That is maybe how I am not so productive these days.
Procrastinate. That is the word of the moment. Because it seems to be all I can do right now. 😦
I swear I just make issues for myself sometimes.
I seem to be doing ok, and then I just mess up, and it’s noone’s fault bar my own. (Although it would be rather nice to have someone I could point the finger of blame at.) I need to get my head together and start working on getting myself out of this shit-pit known as my life.
*sigh*
The thing is, as good as all that sounds, I am a rather lazy sod reccently, so could really do without the hassle. I mean, I am just in this procrastinating, self-loathing state of mind. I am at the point, where I just feel like saying ‘what’s the point, it never gets anywhere’.
The issue is (and this is gonna get emo here)that I don’t feel I have ever excelled at anything. I am just a waster. It’s like, there is a sense of me getting somewhere, but I just fuck it all up, and end up abandonning everything. It’s a life-long habit. I did it at school, at college, and now at work.
I mean I am getting the chance to live my dreams, if I work hard enough. But I seem to think that if I stop caring about something, then it won’t matter when it all fails. Because, to be honest, I am a failure at everything I have ever tried.
*sigh*
I am posting this, because of peoples reaction when I say I post videos on youtube.
And the reactions are mostly negative. Why? I have no idea!
I enjoy planning and making my videos. Its my only field of motivation right now. So yeah, I’m gonna keep right on making vidjeos, because it makes me happeh.
🙂
Because I didn’t say a lot in my previous blog, have a vlog.
YAY!!
I now have 38 videos on my youtube, so come and visit meeee http://youtube.com/user/RiotGraphics
I love this time of year, when the leaves start to turn and it gets colder.
Everything just gets so pretty.
*****
*****
*****
A good thing to note, walking along a main road, taking pictures of trees, gets you some weird looks. 🙂
Been busy meeting up with friends, working and tidying up. These are the normal things that one must do in their lives.
To be honest, the work is essential for buying things and meeting up with mates makes it easier to go to work. Its like, if things get hard, focus on the positives. Which is something I try to do, so that the bad things seem better, because I am getting closer to doing something I want to.
It does sound silly, but it’s the way I am able to work through things. And it works.
Sometimes :S
*Good Charlotte from the Sprite live show- which was awesome*
People seem to get confused on what an opinion is. If you state an opinion, it is your thoughts, who is anyone to tell you whether they are right or wrong.
But also, whilst people have no issues expressing their own opinion, they can’t accept that there is other opinions. For instance, last night I had a converstation with someone about Hannah Montana. Now whilst this tween phenomenon is not to my taste, I can understand why kids may like it. Its a girl who goes to school, who has a double life as a famous pop star. To me, its not much different than seeing Clark Kent’s double life, and wishing that was you. To have a boring normal life, and then be all fantastic and exciting at the same time? I mean every kid has wanted something like that.
Now I’m not saying Hannah Montana is a superhero, but you can see what kids would see in her.
But this girl, kept on saying that the show was terrible, and all her fans would grow up to be whores. I find that a huge stereotype. Its like saying that all kids who listen to rock music are self-harmers. Its not true, and it is there to make people feel better about themselves.
Almost as if that girl needed to validate whý she didn’t like Hannah Montana. Why do people have such a problem in just stating an opinion, without making excuses for themselves.
I don’t think I like it. But I will give it a fair trial. Firefox seems to be getting a bit on the slow side, and is getting on my nerves a bit. So thought I would have a change. I think the whole ‘no options bar at the top’ is a bit strange, but its better than Safari. I think Google Chrome seems like a very ‘Apple’ browser, if that makes sense. It probably makes no sense, so I’ll move on from that.
I did do something healthy today (what is wrong with me?). Took a walk around Loch Ore, which is at Lochore Meadows, about 20 minutes away from where I live.
I know it doesn’t look very far here, but it is a 4 mile walk. Could feel the strain at the back of my legs. Mostly because they are not used to walking that far.
Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend. I was working some overtime today, and am glad that it is finished. What have I been up to? Well–
**I spent this week getting reaquainted with this game. Queue, death of doing anything priductive online**
**I found a painting app for my phone. Found it to be completely useless, so deleted it**
**Tried to get used to using Google Chrome, but still love Firefox too much**
**Facebook crashed, I laughed**
**Tumblr and Twitter crashed, I thought my life was ending**
**Lost another cover for my blackberry, and started keeping it in a sock so it wouldn’t get scratched**
**Shouted over phone at bank, for not giving me bank charges back**
**Cried oved phone at bank, when after 2 hours talking, we were no further to getting me my charges back**
**Watched way too much Frasier and South Park**
**Fangirled excessively over Tony Lovato pole dancing in Good Charlotte video**
**Got laughed at by Tony for doing so, which ended up with me sending him the video**
**Read the Pelican Breid by John Grisham**
**Finished reading some fanfiction**
**Started writing some fanfiction**
**Got embarassed when Ranger beat Dunfermline 7-2**
**Got excited when Dunfermline and Cowdenbeath both won**
**Started planning GC fam Valentines card for Good Charlotte gig in Glasgow**
**Started planning accomodation for Good Charlotte gig in Glasgow**
**Bookmarked website for buying ticket for Good Charlotte gig in Glasgow**
All in all, I enjoyed this week. More please.
*
sueriot.com 