Working Hard or Hardly Working

Stress.

It is the biggest pressure on so many people as they try to live their day to day life. It’s hard to reason why some people are more prone to stress than others. It is more, that the person is struggling to cope, rather than the actual work involved.

It is a feeling of being overwhelmed, and that can come at any stage of a day, and at any stage of life. I have suffered from stress, and to be honest, it seemed to effect me more when I wasn’t working. When I had time on my hands to have a bit of a think. I have a habit of over-analysing things, and I guess that’s what I did. I put pressure on myself, to the point that I felt I was suffocating, and that I was pretty worthless for not coping when everyone else can. It did lead me to the path of depression, and I became increasingly frustrated my life.

After much chatting to people in similar circumstances, I found I wasn’t alone. And it was the cliche that ‘everyone feels overwhelmed at some point’. I say cliche, because at the time, I felt that was all it was. I know, people try to help when the compare your life to someone else’s, as if to say ‘if they can do it, so can you’. But it ends up in a spiral of self doubt, because I feared, I was not as strong willed as that person in front of me. Which was basically me excusing myself for not trying. As if I was shrugging and saying ‘what’s the point’.

Whilst looking at others didn’t help, I took a small piece of advice I found in many self-help books and articles.

Do a little something every day, that makes you smile.

And as basic as it sounds, it helped. I would listen to music, take 5 minutes to sketch something, go for a walk, I’d try something that I knew I loved to do. It became something that I looked forward to, and it made every day that little more bearable. And because my brain was focusing on what ever ‘highlight’ I had planned for that day, it didn’t have the time to focus on shining a negative light on everything I did. I guess, it is just occupying your brain, because over thinking is a huge part of stress related illness. Or it was to me anyway.

Friday Feeling?

My Friday feeling, right now, is sick.

Lovely. Just what I needed when I remember I booked an overtime shift starting at 8.30 am. -.- This is good, because it gives me more money. But it sucks, because I am no longer used to getting up early. This meant I woke up with about 20 minutes to wake up and be at the bus stop. This was not perfect by any means, and it took me till about 11am till I was properly awake.

Yes, talking about billing is bad enough when one’s brain is 100% in gear, without me making things worse. But hey, I seem to always be dedicated to making things suck and be irritating. But hey, what would I moan about if life was perfect?

Other than overworking, something which is about as welcome in my life as a weight watchers representative, I am glad to inform that life has been pretty boring. But when is it not? If life was all go-go-go, I’d probably die of a heart attack due to pure exhaustion.

I did this whole creative thing last night, and made a late-night vlog. Oi! Not that kind of vlog. What kind of person are you? Filth! I did a video which was to help friends with recommendations of sites for their uses. Unfortunately, it did not render well, or record well. In fact, the whole thing was a disaster. To the point that I am going to get home and delete it as soon as I can. Unless youtube did something to it overnight.

Sorry for the pointless moaning. But that’s why I have this. So I can say what’s on my mind. šŸ™‚

Enjoy your Friday!

Aight!!

Going to go out today to take some photos.

I am working a couple of hours extra today, and would like to do something with my day, other than just work. So, heading to bank as I need to find out information to get my PayPal account verified. So I’ll get that done today, and then I have a few clients that can pay me via PayPal, seeing as they don’t want to deal bank-to-bank.

The headaches of doing things for people and them not wanting to pay. It’s like people expect me do give them free things, just out of the kindness of my heart. I mean, I can give things away to an extent, but not to the organising 40 flashbook pages for a business that is already doing well. Considering all the images had to be cleaned up, some re-sketched, and categorised, it was a lot of work to expected as a freebie. I did say a tattoo would be adequate payment, but they didn’t like that idea. -.-

So, I’m using it as an excuse to head up into town, take some pictures, and buy nothing. Because I am still broke. :S Still, it’s better than sitting around here all day. Doing nothing. Well till 3pm, considering that’s when I start work. I may continue to do nothing at work, but, sssshhhhhh, don’t tell anyone.

As you can tell, I am in a random mood today, possibly made possible, because I can say that I should be seeing GC at the flipside of this weekend. If you don’t know that GC is Good Charlotte, and are my absolute favourite band in the world, then :P. It has to be said that Good Charlotte fans (the GCfam) are awesome and are some of my best friends. I have had a lot of ‘inner problems’ in the last few weeks, mostly over-stress, and they are the best support ever.

 

 

A Cliff To Climb

I am still making steady progress on the mountainĀ of work I need to have done within the next week. Today I completed 3 pages for Shaun’s website. AND I finally managed to get a contact form sorted out, with the help of Paul.

So I have a bio page, which is just going to be writing, so I am planning that tonight at work, and will type it up when I get home. Then I have the portfolio, which will be done using ‘lightbox’, a javascript item, which gives your site a pop-out gallery thing. I have done Lightbox before, so I’m not really that worried, I will just fill it in with different colours untill Shaun gives me any images he wants to be in it.

So, that is a major unit, pretty much done. This one is important, because I know I have to design my own site, and get it online over the summer. So its good to know, I have only really come across one bump. And that was getting the contact form to display on the desired page. But that was more me, putting the wrong size for the container box (25555 px wide, when the site is 1028 px, d’oh). So yeah, me and Dreamweaver are good pals right now.

Going to be busy this weekend, need to try and get my t-shirt designs sorted and sent to the print shop, for pickupĀ next Ā Saturday.Ā  So yeah, get one thing done, but its not even a dent on what I still have to do. :S

Over Stressed

Today started off well. I went into college and did work on my Graded Unit. Was actually quite chuffed, cause I did a lot. Actually did about 12 pages of developement work. Which made me rather happy, and totally motivated about the project. So was happy, and for a change felt I had spent time in college well.

That was untill I went to Web Design, and completely wanted to cry. The class was so noisy, and something as simple as adding a contact form onto a website, did not work. *sigh* So I ended up in a two hour class, and the only outcome was that I wanted to kill myself :/

So I finished this afternoon, totally dejected and just wanted to go home.Ā  Then, to top off my feeling of uselessness, I lost my bus pass. As in, I had it this morning, and now its gone. Where the issue is, that I haveĀ no money, and can’t afford to go to either college or work. *sigh*

So I have such a headache cause of all this, and I just want to cry, everytime someone asks how I am doing.

Today is Notsome

I am stressing. Again!

I have stuff due in for Gillian, from the first semester, where I went all stupid, and didn’t hand things in :/

I also have to hand my Graded unit in for marking next week. The developement is where most of the score comes from, and do you want to know how much I have done? Absolutely sweet FA. 😦

It’s all my fault, I have been total uninspired over the last few days. Also next Thursday, I need my first animation finished, and all the paper work done, like my storyboards handed in, again, this is not done either.

So stressing out about that, and I come into work, to be told that my manager will listen to a few of my calls. 😦 I hate that, it makes me feel like everything I am doing will be scrutinised.

I suppose that needs to be done.

Hopefully I don’t fuck it up too much. ButI know me, and I probably will make a complete disaster out of it.

I wish I was at home.

Uber Stresshead

So, here IĀ am sitting at work, and I could really do without beingĀ here for 5 hours, answering the phone to people who think IĀ am thick as shit.

I still have a big gap of research to do for both my Graded Unit and Art & Design Project, and IĀ can’t do any of it, whilst IĀ am here. Not even when its quiet, I would need to be able to put my pen drive in the pc, to save images, and IĀ can’t do that. Mostly because the ‘powers that be’, seem to think i will steal data from the pc. Which is understandable,Ā I guess, if not a little over cautious.

I got my photograph taken in the photography studio at college, which was exciting. It was taken by students, but it was still cool. Never really done anything like that before. We were told we would get a copy of the photos, which would be cool. I need some full shots of my self, as I have never felt more comfortable about my body. IĀ think that has to do with the fact, that for the last few days IĀ have been forcing myself to look in the mirror every day. Mostly because I need to love my self. I know it sounds stupid, but I’m sick of being told that IĀ am wrong forĀ the way that IĀ look. IĀ have always been large, and its time for me to be happy for that.