So I am sitting in front of the TV tonight, and watching You’ve Got Mail. An overly cheesey ‘chick-flick’ starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. Where two people fall in love as they email each other, but they are natural enemies in real life, and hate each other.
It started me thinking about whether people show themselves honestly online. I mean, people have the ability to create this online persona of perfection, why include your flaws in that. Through a site, you can pretend you are they person that you wish you could be. You can filter out all the undesirable rubbish, and make your more favourable traits, be major features of your personality.
But then, is it our immediate surroundings that make use behave in a certain way? Is it only when we are confronted with people and situations, our personalities change into something completely different?
When we are alone, typing responses into a computer, we have time to organise our thoughts. We can respond to questions, without panicking and our brains rushing out some idle, idiotic response. We can spell check, and re-read responses, and carefully tweak them, to get the desired effect.
When actually involved in a conversation with someone, we don’t have the luxury to think of a perfect response, the thought process and the words come out quickly. And, although you may say something accidental, it really does show who a person is more. And you see a person for who they are, online there is always the chance of someone holding themselves back.
So where is a person most honest to themselves, online or IRL? Does it matter? As long as you truthful to yourself and your views, it shouldn’t matter where you encounter people.
In a bit to stop dwelling on the fact that I am utter miserable, I am going to delve into something to try and raise the positivity points for a little. At least distract me for a little while, anyway.
*twiddles thumbs*
*scratches head*
Umm… so what do you say when your mind is as blank as my ‘completed’ Standard Grade Chemistry exam? Well, the same as what any other blogger does. Look at news sites, etc and see if you can find a topic that interests you. Failing that you could always post about a Meme that attracts your attention.
What is a Meme? Well, most people associate it with the Viral videos that spread around the internet like wildfire. You know the type, you’ve probably recieved a video via email, on facebook to the point it may even get mentioned in national media. But as far as the blog meme goes, it is more of a theme, or idea that people post, and it spreads to other blogs. A lot of memes centred around blogging, tend to be either GIF (moving images) posts or posting games.
The first meme I probably encountered was over on LiveJournal, which as I have said before, was my first blog, which is 7 years old this year. The homepage has a section called ‘writer’s block’ where members of the site submit questions, and other blogger answer it in a blog post. It is a good motivator, and I have seen myself use the ‘writer’s block’ to write a few times in a week, to help get into the mood for posting. Meme’s are ideal for people looking to get started in blogging, but don’t quite have the processes in place to blog on a daily basis, with different content. Here, the topic is decided, you just have to write about it. This small function of the ‘writer’s block’ is something unique, in that I am yet to see another mainstream blogging service employ such a service.
But if your blogging service of choice does not include something to help encourage posting, there are Meme sites online, where you can pick their topic or task of the day to help you write. The best site I have found for this is The Daily Meme, a site set up to post memes, which help encourage people to write when they are stuck. The Daily Meme, has the site split into days of the week, so that users can pick from a day, and doing it weekly, such as ‘Creative Writing Friday’. Another site which is rather good is The Music Memoirs, which as you can guess, is similar to The Daily Meme, except is based around music, where you create playlists for the season and things.
I have been a user of both sites for a long time, and they have both helped me out of some pretty serious writer’s blocks, so I can heavily recommend them both. And it is no bad thing if you post using a meme, every so often, because a meme tends to allow the writer to show themselves, which is what blogging is about. It also shows, that you are willing to use sources to help you, if you need to.
Also, and probably the most important thing, seeing as I know A LOT of people starting blogs within the last few months, posting a meme on your blog allows it to be slightly more than one dimensional. If all you do is repost other peoples’ Photoshop tutorials, then you aren’t really employing the blog to it’s full purpose. So if you struggle, try a meme, and it’ll help you get to what is at the heart of a good blog. YOU and your opinions.
What is it that makes someone an expert at social networking?
It’s a thing that seems to be bounced around by an awful lot of people. They have Twitter and Facebook and think that constitutes them being an expert in all things social media. Well, just because you post 50 tweets since you started on twitter 2 years ago, doesn’t make you any sort of expert.
The thing is, businesses are starting to realise that social media is a perfect was to tout for business for free. Which is great, but if they put it in the wrong hands, it can do more harm than good. Spamming on Facebook may get you followers, but does it really get you more business?
I don’t think it does. If you spread yourself amongst various networks, and employ them well, they can all become interconnected. You can show all different aspects of blog posts, video posts, favourite pieces of the internet and more. By showing likes and dislikes, you can show some kind of personality to a business. Like I mentioned before on the blog about websites, not too long ago, if a business has personality, people are more likely to form an attachment with it.
So the more you employ various social networks to talk to other users, and show who YOU are, people will like what you say, and maybe give you business. But it is called SOCIAL network, doing ‘follow4follow’ is not being social and getting to know people. Social networking is about making friends and getting to know people. People become friends because they like where you’re coming from.
Maybe its just me. I have spent a lot of time learning to use networks such as Myspace, Last.FM, Bebo, Hi5, Flickr, DailyBooth, Twitter, Youtube, Livejournal, Tumblr and more. This is something that I do because I enjoy it. I love the idea of being able to get to know people all over the world. I don’t go on twitter because some I was told to as a designer to get work, it was something I used to as a way to get to know people I spoke to on other sites.
Maybe it’s because I do value websites I use as the people I know through these sites mean a lot to me. It always kind of bothers me, that businesses just use it for promotion. They don’t use the sites correctly, in my view, show no personality and don’t interact with people.
If you are a ‘master of social networking’, I believe that you should show the sites and its users with respect and love. It sounds stupid, but people can pick up when you love something, and if you a enjoy using a service, it will be picked up on by any potential client. If you don’t show care for a FREE website you have an account on, what’s saying that you’ll show care on any paid projects.
I was sitting thinking, the other day about the blog post I did a few days ago, where I was talking about relationships. And despite me being rather cynical about love, you can’t deny that it is something that bypasses language and other barriers. Gestures of love and kindness are something that is not restricted to the English language. And that, is rather romantic in itself, thinking that love rises above the barriers our modern world has created.
So, even if we go more primal, and think about the concept of finding a mate. This is something which goes beyond humankind, a great variety of creatures mate for life. Wolves, coyotes, beavers, Golden Eagles and Ospreys are just a few creatures which mate for life. This isn’t them living together and playing happy families, a lot of the time it is just that they are programmed to be social with the opposite sex, and assist in the raising of young. It is mechanical, something which is where a persons need to be in a relationship comes from. It’s the biological urge to have a place where you have a family of people around you, as a network of support, because ultimately that is why animals like Wolves live in packs.
The network that people have has changed over the centuries. No longer are people together simply as mates, and build a network around their mate. They have networks of colleagues, of friends, of people other than the traditional parents, and various family members. So, as our world takes more steps away from nature, so do our network of relationships. So rather than the basic, man meets woman, they have sex, have children, that’s their lives, people have jobs, ambitions and are not so focused on finding a partner. Especially when you see that it used to be that girls where paired with a suitor by the time they were 16.
I guess amidst all my rambling, what I am trying to say is that the human race isn’t unique in having urges to show fondness towards others. A lot of our behaviour comes from our past as more basic creatures, it’s just third party causes, such as money and technology, has distorted what should be the most natural thing that a person should experience.
You can’t talk about love, without your mind going to the polar opposite, which is hate. Hate, in most aspects is thought of as ‘revenge’. Why? Well, again it comes down to the basic families and networks that people have created over time, be it religion, work, or anything. If anything threatens our network, people resort to their primal instinct of trying to defend it. Which then brings intolerance, as people get overly sensitive, and well…you get a whole of bother.
But, fights and duels happen all the time in the wild, as creatures try to protect what is theres’. It’s just the ‘more sophisticated’ humans, use guns and destroy everything, to the point it becomes mindless. But it all stems from urges and behaviours that are built-in to our nature, something that makes us no different from any other person, or any other creature on earth.
^^Good Charlotte’s new video for their song Sex On The Radio. I heard some things about the video before it was released, but having see it, I can tell you I think it’s one of my favourite videos.
The idea is, that the band are all in ‘disguise’ and they record people in LA listening to the song, and film their reactions. Its a really funny idea. It’s refreshing to see a band show people’s opinions so freely, to the point that they show people saying that the song is rubbish. Not a lot of bands would put that in a promotional video.
Anyway, this marks 14 days before I see Good Charlotte in Glasgow. *Squee* So as a warning, the fangirl posting may become more frequent.
Has always been the one thing, whether asked on a form or by person in front of me, which irritates me. Why would such a simple topic irritate me? Well, because I feel it puts this mass importance on whether you are in a relationship or not. Why is there so many terms for those who have found a partner, and those without are dubbed ‘Singletons’.
The land of the Singleton is supposed to be an empty, lonely one, where the poor person (almost labelled as a victim) cries themselves to sleep everynight because they are so alone. Now, there may be some people like that, but I assure you that most people who are single tend to focus on something else in their life. They don’t focus on relationships, because why focus all your attention on something that isn’t there? There’s no point, as it will just drive one crazy.
And the ‘dispair’ that a lot of single people feel, come from the fact that those around them seem to openly seem to show off that they have managed to keep their talons locked into someone for long enough, they are now considered as their partner. They talk about the dinner dates, the flowers, the movie nights on the couch…the list is endless. But I am sure most people reading this will see some kind of familiarity with the situations.
I’m not saying that people shouldn’t be happy, just don’t being vomit inducing. And there is something really sweet about knowing someone so well, as a friend, that the relationship goes to another level, and you understand each other completely. But a lot of the people I know in relationships spend their days moaning about how their other half is terrible. Why, if love is such a beautiful thing, do so many people seem to mourn it? Because, that’s what it appears to be. Being sad because the person they choose to be with, doesn’t have all the qualities they want in a lover.
There is a solution to these, sometimes unreachable, goals that people set for their partner to achieve. The truth is, you can never expect anyone to try and live to what you thing is ideal. A good thing to do, is to think of all the qualities you like in a partner, and write them down. That list of ‘wants’ is what you need to achieve yourself. People pick out qualities they find desirable, mostly because it is a type of envy, that this person holds a quality you don’t. So, if you take those qualities out of the equation, it becomes easier to get along with people. It’s almost like moving the unreachable goalposts closer, so that it becomes easier for people to meet your expectations.
But getting two people to co-habit with each other is hard. No-one is 100% compatible, so a little give and take is necessary.
*shrugs*
But what do I know. I barely remember my last relationship.
Maybe it’s because I have been lucky in the past, but recently, for the first time ever, I have been getting anonymous hate on various social networks. Now, I know I shouldn’t be bothered by it, but I don’t see the point. Isn’t there enough hate in the world, without people giving it to people they don’t even know? I think it’s the fact that people have the time to hate on people they don’t even know, that annoys me. Why would you waste your time doing this?
The main culprits are Formspring, YouTube and Tumblr, where people sent you hate for no reason. Some show their name, some are anonymous, and to be honest, it’s not that that bothers me. It’s the fact that people are will to pass judgement on people they don’t know. Maybe it’s just because I’m the kind of person who wouldn’t do that. I mean, as much as I spend a lot of time online, I refuse to spend it hating people I don’t know. But I am like IRL too, I mean, I won’t hate on someone who has treated me nice.
Taking that stance, you’d think that it wouldn’t bother me, but sometimes it does. When you are trying to express yourself, and do things that you genuinely have difficulty doing, and someone just shoots you down without a thought, it hurts. It doesn’t matter whether you know the person or not.
For instance, I have always had issues with how I look. It sounds awful angsty of me, but I do. I have never felt confident about doing anything in public, because I felt embarassed at how I looked. A few people, from various internet communites I take part in, advised me to start a YouTube channel and do a video blog. I did this, and it helped bring my confidence up a lot. And if I’m honest, it helped me learn to speak a little clearer too. Which is all good. Then you get a message from someone saying that they wasted minutes of their lives watching me, and I should die. It was a shock the first time it happened, but it started happening on every video, so I got used to it.
This did me good, because I had to tell myself that these people didn’t know me. I mean, only someone stupid would watch a video labelled ‘Vlog’, and moan because it was someone talking to a camera. *shrugs* I don’t mind if someone wants to comment negatively, and tell me what is wrong, but bitchy hate which is straight out of High School, on the other hand. But, I did manage to get over the pointless hate, and I still posted what I wanted, and I continued to see my own self-confidence improve.
The next step, was to go on Dailybooth, and take a picture of myself a day, to kinda force me to accept the way I look, which I still hate. Which is cool, I opened up an account a few days ago, and although I still don’t like looking at the pictures, I do anyway. Dailybooth, is a site where you take a picture everyday, and it kind of becomes a photoblog, of sorts. Its a nice idea and it works well, considering I am still new at it. But, as with YouTube, I have already (after 5 days) got hate about me being ugly. Which is nice. Considering I am doing the whole DailyBooth thing because I am trying to get my confidence up about my looks. I got a bit angry about it, to be honest. Although, I did go to the hater’s profile, and find that he had been getting hate, so he was just relaying that hate to someone else, so I did feel a little better about it.
I dunno, I just don’t understand the whole hate thing, I mean isn’t the world bad enough, without people adding to the misery. Ok, misery is maybe a bit strong, but you know what I mean.
It’s my ability to lie in till noon every day of the week.
I happened upon this discovery, when I forced myself to get up in time for breakfast. Queue sarcy comments from the parents, wondering why I was up so early. But, I got up, had food, and then did some housework. Yes, I actually did something other than sitting playing the xbox or watch videos on YouTube.
On a note, cleaning up lead to this wonderful creation being used again.
Well, I think it’s wonderful anyway. Has to be one of my favourite things in my room, because it relaxes me so much. I waste a lot of time away, just watching it. I guess simple minds, and all that jazz.
One of the topics I moaned about on my reccent video, was the change of the YouTube homepage. Something that I am not a fan of. I understand why a site may need to update its stylings every so often, but sometimes those changes are for the worse. Maybe not in the eyes of who manages the site in question, but for the users.
It has been proven that if a user accesses a site, and finds their favourite features removed and the site has changed beyond all recognition, they will leave the site. Why? Well, like anything, people use a service they feel familiar with and then the user will create some personal connection with the site. This is good for whoever runs the site, because any users who make a connection with a site, they will become repeated users. Which is a good thing for any site, as you can probably guess.
The issue with having users so personally attatched to a website, is that these people are resistant to change. Whilst they may accept subtle changes, here and there, if the site undergoes a complete overhaul, there is a chance the frequent users will stop using the service. It is a risk, a risk that the site creator needs to evaluate fully before they make any changes. Some sites even go to the lengths of asking their users, what they would like to see on the site.
But what are the main things could put people off a site, if it where to be changed?
1)Colour. Although this seems unimportant in the grand scheme of the site and what it is used for, the colour is what people first notice about the site, and if it is changed to something on the other side of the colour spectrum, it could bewilder users. The best example of this is probably Facebook. The site is designed in blue and white, and without looking too much into the content of the site, most of its users will recognise it based on colour, without reading anything on the actual web page. The colours have become part of the brand identity of Facebook, so it is important for that to stay on the site, no matter what changes is made. It is actually proven, that you can get away with changing a site subtly (moving columns around,etc) as long as the colour is the same, because it is still familiar.
2)Logo. Every website online has some kind of logo. A logo which allows a user to instantly recognise what it is that they are using. Whenever you go onto a website, most users will automatically look at the top of the page, to see the logo. Something which adds familiarity onto a site, and is something that will stick in the mind of a user. It is why Logos are used for all businesses, it is an easy way to advertise. If you have a really good logo, it will become embedded in a client’s mind, and the client will use the service again. On a website, a logo can sometimes be a little bit of personality, to allow a person to become attached to the site or business.
3)Features. If you have people visiting a website, it is usually because they are there for a specific purpose. If the site owner re-sites some of the features, this could confuse some users and could put them off from visiting again. Usually, if it is something simple such as changing the font, or the arrangement of a particular column, then people will accept the changes, and move on. But, if you do something such as remove something from the main screen, then you have the chance that they could become lost, and the effort of figuring out a new way of doing things, can make someone go elsewhere. The best, most recommended, way to do any major changes, is to put a guide on the main page, telling people how to find features if they have been re-sited. If you get rid of a feature, again, be honest with the user and let them know what’s happened. If you are upfront and honest, the client will make that personal connection with you, and there is more chance of them sticking around the service.
To me those are the three main things that are normally changed on a site, and why I think they could put off people. Normally if you provide a really good service, you will get away of making changes to the site, but be aware its not always the case. If you do want to change things, make the changes subtle, or even query your users. Whatever you do, keeping clients in the ‘loop’ will keep them on your side, and should see you lose minimal business.
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