Has always been the one thing, whether asked on a form or by person in front of me, which irritates me. Why would such a simple topic irritate me? Well, because I feel it puts this mass importance on whether you are in a relationship or not. Why is there so many terms for those who have found a partner, and those without are dubbed ‘Singletons’.
The land of the Singleton is supposed to be an empty, lonely one, where the poor person (almost labelled as a victim) cries themselves to sleep everynight because they are so alone. Now, there may be some people like that, but I assure you that most people who are single tend to focus on something else in their life. They don’t focus on relationships, because why focus all your attention on something that isn’t there? There’s no point, as it will just drive one crazy.
And the ‘dispair’ that a lot of single people feel, come from the fact that those around them seem to openly seem to show off that they have managed to keep their talons locked into someone for long enough, they are now considered as their partner. They talk about the dinner dates, the flowers, the movie nights on the couch…the list is endless. But I am sure most people reading this will see some kind of familiarity with the situations.
I’m not saying that people shouldn’t be happy, just don’t being vomit inducing. And there is something really sweet about knowing someone so well, as a friend, that the relationship goes to another level, and you understand each other completely. But a lot of the people I know in relationships spend their days moaning about how their other half is terrible. Why, if love is such a beautiful thing, do so many people seem to mourn it? Because, that’s what it appears to be. Being sad because the person they choose to be with, doesn’t have all the qualities they want in a lover.
There is a solution to these, sometimes unreachable, goals that people set for their partner to achieve. The truth is, you can never expect anyone to try and live to what you thing is ideal. A good thing to do, is to think of all the qualities you like in a partner, and write them down. That list of ‘wants’ is what you need to achieve yourself. People pick out qualities they find desirable, mostly because it is a type of envy, that this person holds a quality you don’t. So, if you take those qualities out of the equation, it becomes easier to get along with people. It’s almost like moving the unreachable goalposts closer, so that it becomes easier for people to meet your expectations.
But getting two people to co-habit with each other is hard. No-one is 100% compatible, so a little give and take is necessary.
But what do I know. I barely remember my last relationship.