Category: Uncategorized

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

So…..still kind of ill 😦 I had the flu last week, and I am now suffering from the cold. I was getting at the stage where I thought I was getting better, and into a ‘swing’ with things, I just end up wanting to lie in bed all day and do nothing.

So, not in the best working situation right now, and it’s noone’s fault bar mine.  I have two weeks off coming up, and going to spend all my time working on my projects. Its a lot of work, but I should be ok.  The plan is to blitz my projects one-by-one, and get them all up to date. I am falling behind, again, and I need to stop blaming other things.

Its MY work, so it’s MY responsibility to get it done.

I can do my own work no problem, but its this whole concept on getting my creativity to work on a schedule. I suppose that’s why I am in college, to learn how to do things like that. To be honest, that is the hardest thing to do, as I work well to my own timescales, but as soon as someone else gives me a schedule to work off, I just come to a stop. Its like I can’t be creative to someone else’s demands. Again, it’s just learning that, I suppose.

See me and my rebellious creativity XD

Technology=life

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Most of the last few days, I have only been on the PC, if it was needed. The reason is, that I am choked with the flu. I feel horrible.

But it did make me think how I would live without technology. I mean it is impossible for me to imagine my life without my computer, tv, mobile and X box. It’s crazy. I want to know when did I become so emotionally attached to such items. I used to be attached to my wee stereo but that was it. Now, I carry my mobile and iPod everywhere. I am also connected to the web, for most of my day. Because I email clients and printmakers a lot, I always check my emails.

It’s almost like a compulsion. Unless I am really ill, I can’t survive on silence. I don’t know if it’s because I am usually so busy,  but I struggle to relax. apparently this is a common thing, these days, with a lot of people struggling to relax, because society, these days requires us to not switch off. It’s like we always need stimulation from somewhere. It’s crazy.

Hoping to get work as a graphic designer, I am going to be spending  a lot of time on the computer, that is something that is not going to change. That is not necessarily a bad thing, because it is something I need to do. I just need to be able to switch off a lot more. So that I can relax. At the moment I work and relax using the internet. I need to be able to feel that I can switch off from the web. Not really sure how to do that though.

Good or Bad

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Going on from my train of thought yesterday. I starting thinking about what says something is either good or bad. We get told there are bad words, bad actions, bad clothes, bad music. But really what does any of that mean?

The thing is, it’s our heads that decide what is good or bad. Its our thought process, which turns something good or bad. A word is just a word, it can’t stab someone. The thoughts and ideas the word conjures up, is what decides whether it is good or bad. And the thoughts and ideas change, depending on where you come from.

For instance, if I mention the word ‘fag’, I mean it as cigarette, and usually means I am going for a smoke. But to Americans, it is a negative word aimed at gay people. So whilst in the UK, that word is harmless, in the US it is a terrible word. But the word isn’t the bad thing, its what people connect to it. It happens everywhere.

I feel that is something that is a part of how people work. Like I said yesterday, people like to feel more superior, and they do that by having answer for everything. So rather than saying, ‘that song isn’t to my taste’, people are more likely to say ‘that song is bad’. Its maybe people just not wording things right, but I feel it is more than that. Its like giving it a solid answer, if you say that something is bad. That’s it, end of discussion.

But, fair enough, if people are taught and brought up to think that way. But, it becomes an issue, when someone opposes their opinion. People forget that opinion is never right or wrong. People refuse to except differing opinions, and refuse to discuss them. We call our selves the most superior race, but if we can’t accept and discuss even simple opinions, its no wonder society is crumbling.

You want someone to listen and respect what you say and think, maybe you should do the same. Try it.

Free Speech, Costly Thoughts

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I had an odd instance today. Where I talked about something, and was given the reply of death threats. Its an odd occurence. I am a very opinionated person, and never had the problem of such volatile reactions to my words.
It wasn’t as if the words were offensive. I mean, I spoke negatively about a singer from a bands actions. But that’s it. I didn’t berate him for it, I just said I did not agree with his actions. Simple enough, you may think. It’s just showing opinion, over something. Which is all it was. But when did opinion become a fight about what’s right and wrong?

I wish I could say, that my experience today, was a one off occurence.  But I know, just by watching the news, it isn’t. We are constantly being told how lucky we are, because we live in a country which allows free speech. Which is all very well, in theory. Free speech, also allows free thinking. And people, as complex as we appear, can’t seem to process anything other than a good side and a bad side, just black and white. So the thoughts you think up, are either right and wrong, as if that gives it an answer.

I mean, we like answers don’t we. Like to have everything in resolved in a neat little package. People are reluctant to say something is someones opinion, and to just leave it that. They feel the need to show why it is right, or wrong. Why?

Looking through the news, I saw that T4’s Miquitta Oliver has been suspended from her work, because she spoke negatively about US singer Ke$ha. She apparently used swear words when talking about the singer. Now, note that the words themself, weren’t what caused the damage. It was the thought process, connected to those words. But to say that someone is not allowed to air their frustrations, with this ‘free speech’, kind of indicates that we are not as free as we are lead to believe.

But that’s not anything new is it?

Everybody PANIC!

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Ran my idea, of featuring my blog in  my sketchbook, as some kind of anitation, past Caron, my tutor, today. She seemed to like it. And she also said that it could be useful as a design idea. Like having large setions of text, and pulling out words of importance into the front. This would be an enteresting concept. But I need to think about it some more.

Been reading about this ‘panic button’, which the government want to be added to facebook.http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8574727.stm The government feel that if they inforce this, then it stops kids being lured by paedophiles. They need to be aware, that this won’t actually stop the kiddies being lured by perves. Rather than bad mouthing Facebook, because it wants to attempt its own methods of protection. If a panic button is used, and it ‘red flags’ a members page.

This is the account being reported, and the way the most sites work, that 1 report and the member gets looked at, and warned. But 5 or 6 reports within a short period of time, the account in question is automatically blocked. Now if everybody uses it correctly, then it works well. But people will abuse it, and will report accounts, which belong to people who maybe are a tad annoying.

Also, this ‘panic button’ is to be used by kids. Now, it is known that most kids who fall into these traps set up by perverts, don’t think they are at risk. They don’t sense danger, so won’t press anything.

So again, the government seem to be having somekind of kneejerk reaction, to Facebook reccently being in the news, after being used by perverts, and by criminals torturing their victims through the site.  They have just thrown out an idea, and hoped that it would be good enough. Then the government will start saying that Facebook is ‘evil’, in an attempt to make themselves look right. The UK government is taking to many short cuts right now, they just want to blame it on someone else

Labels

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I guess I am going to go on a bit of a rant today.

Getting sick of all these labels that get thrown about. I didn’t use to notice it when I was younger, but I don’t know whether that’s because I didn’t get involved with ‘alternative culture’ untill I became a bit older, and more confident. I used be the geeky art student, who blended into the background,. and was ignored by the vast majority of people at my school. As I have got older, I have found that my confidence has risen dramatically.

I am now 25 (almost 26) and tattooed and pierced, and have  died my hair, so many colours. But I am more comfortable than I have ever been in my whole life. Ironic, then, that it is now that I get negative attention. Emo, goth, and other labels get thrown in my direction. It just feels that the when I attract attention its bad attention. Although most of the time, it’s just water off a  ducks back, but sometimes, it does get under my skin. And when it does, I totally beat myself up on why I’m getting viewed like that, when I feel I have done nothing wrong.

People like to bring others down, no matter what it is. they feel that the only way to make themselves look better is to attack other people. To attack someone because they look different is the lowest of the low, and just shows someones ignorance. No matter what colour, religion or style everyone is the same. The sooner people zccept that the better.

It would certainly make my day-to-day life easier.

What A Weekend Should Be

~ Sue ~ 2 Comments

This weekend, was a relaxing one. Reuniting with old friends, and having a stress-free time.

Glee- Don’t Stop Believin’ —–song of the weekend.

Was the most social weekend I have had in a while, and went out on both the Friday and Saturday. Gemma is a Primary School teacher, and Sharon is a trainee lawyer. What is great, is that although we are 3 completely different people, and although we met at school, we are still close. Its good. Though life does separate most people, its such an achievement, when you can say that you have gotten through that, and can still call schoolmates friends, almost 8 years after leaving school.

We went to a flat in the Bridge of Don, on Friday, and I got slightly sozzled drinking too much whisky. Also realised that if, someone is getting very drunk, I automatically stop drinking, which is something I never used to do. I guess I seem to have fallen into being a responsible drinker, and I have no idea when that happened. Saying that I have never been a heavy drinker, as I’d rather spend my money on something else, more worthwhile.

VISUAL PLAYLIST

And this is my angry face

~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

I am so pissed off.

I wish I could say why I was pissed off, but I can’t. I just feel so strained, and that everything I am doing right now is forced. Like I have to try so hard to do anything. Sitting here, in this call centre is one thing, that takes the most energy. The air conditioning is just recycling dead air, and it is suffocating and gives me headaches. And when I get a headache I really cannot be bothered with the telephone at all.

Is it odd to say that my own head is suffocating me, because that is truely what it feels like. Its like whatever I do, there is some force pushing against me, willing me not to continue. That in itself is a strange concept, and not something I am used to feeling. It leaves me feeling really drained.

Uber Stresshead

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment
So, here I am sitting at work, and I could really do without being here for 5 hours, answering the phone to people who think I am thick as shit.

I still have a big gap of research to do for both my Graded Unit and Art & Design Project, and I can’t do any of it, whilst I am here. Not even when its quiet, I would need to be able to put my pen drive in the pc, to save images, and I can’t do that. Mostly because the ‘powers that be’, seem to think i will steal data from the pc. Which is understandable, I guess, if not a little over cautious.

I got my photograph taken in the photography studio at college, which was exciting. It was taken by students, but it was still cool. Never really done anything like that before. We were told we would get a copy of the photos, which would be cool. I need some full shots of my self, as I have never felt more comfortable about my body. I think that has to do with the fact, that for the last few days I have been forcing myself to look in the mirror every day. Mostly because I need to love my self. I know it sounds stupid, but I’m sick of being told that I am wrong for the way that I look. I have always been large, and its time for me to be happy for that.

Blogging Vs Social Networking

~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

So blogging is apparently now losing out in popularity to social networking sites, especially Facebook.

I’m still awful stand-offish about facebook, I like something that I can express myself freely, and you can’t realy do that on Facebook. I mean, most people I know, go on it to play the games. Its gimmicky. And I don’t like that.

I pour my heart and soul into my blogs, and recently, with my anti-depressants being taken away, it helps me sort things out in my head a bit. Ok, they have status updates on facebook, but that’s why I use twitter. And to be honest, its easier to ignore annoyances on twitter. I mean I have 104 requests to look through on facebook, and I just can’t be bothered.

It shouldn’t have to be such an effort. You should be able to go on to sites, and use them freely and comfortably. And its not just the Social Networking thing, cause I was on bebo a lot, and after 5 years I still love Myspace. Its just Facebook.

I can use it ok, but I am bored of spending ages on it, playing all the wee games, and checking everyones status updates, and bitching about each other. I mean, people are bad enough getting the message through text messages, let alone facebook. I have seen people block me on facebook, because they didn’t like the way I said something(actually, it’d be the way that they read it). Saying that, not had that issue on twitter yet, and I do talk to a lot of people on that.

The good thing about social networking sites, is when they start to work together, like Myspace shows my tweets and my lastFM, in fact just about all sites, bar facebook uses twitter problem free.

Facebook has got its good points. I mean its great if you wanna check how someone is doing, and its seen a lot of action reconnecting old friends. Maybe its me, and I’m bias because I love Myspace, I dunno. Myspace was the first thing where you could be ‘friends’ with bands you admired, and it really opened up a lot of gateways. I would say, somewhat grudgingly, that I now feel that LastFM is more relevent in music terms. But, that could be that I am always looking for new bands, and LastFM always recommends bands, depending on what you have been listening to.

But its all trends, I guess, one day it will all come back round, where blogs are ‘cool’ again. Saying that, by the time that happens, I might be at the age where blogging is deemed more relevent anyway.

Oh well.