Category: Uncategorized

Get To Know Me (BEDA)

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

**I have been getting no sleep recently, so thought I’d post a wee questionnaire as my brain isn’t functioning enough to write anything proper**

1- What does the last text you sent say? And to whom? Was to my friend, Gemma, letting her know I was off the bus and heading round to hers.

2-  What does the last text you recieved say? And from whom? From EE, telling me my phone bill was ready to view.

3- What time do you wake up most mornings? 6am, I start work at 8. If I am off work I usually wake up before 9am.

4- Are you afraid of walking alone at night? No. Never have had any fear of going anywhere on my one. 

5- What do you do to relax at the end of a stressful day? If it has been a really bad day, I love to have a bath.

6- Where did your last kiss take place and with whom? 😶

7- Do/did you get into trouble a lot at school? Nope. I was really quiet at school, kept myself to myself.

8- Do you enjoy your job? If unemployed, are you content being so? I work at a warehouse, it’s not the best job. But there is great people there and I get a lot of time to think.

9-  Do you often pick up on double entendres and innuendos? Sometimes. I am not too ‘quick on the draw’ so I’ll normally pick up once someone else laughs.

10- Have you ever met someone who has completely altered your way of thinking? Not really. I have read stories of others which has caused me to re-evaluated my own life. Particularly when learning about those lives so different from my own.

11- What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately? The natural world. It makes me feel so insignificant, and I find that super comforting. 

12- Do you usually initiate hugs? No! I feel super awkward, and don’t like imposing myself into someone else’s personal space.

13- What are you looking forward to? I am going on holiday to Portugal in October to watch Scotland play international football. So excited.

14- Do you have any tattoos. Do you want any/more? I have 7 tattoos, and have been craving a new one for a while. But I need to decide on a design first. 

15- Are you mentally strong? Kind of. I struggle with both depression and social anxiety, and I can struggle when things get stressful. But, I don’t give up. I have always worked hard, and haven’t been taken time away from work with mental health days. Although sometimes I have needed it.

16- Are you physically strong? Nope. 

17- Do you think you’re a good person? I always like to think I will always try to do good things. 

18- Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now. I always wish I had stuck in at school more, and followed my gut more. I became very apathetic with education, despite carrying on with it. I wish I had left it, and just worked hard. I just needed to believe that there is always time to go back to education later. 

Current Favourites- (BEDA)

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am feeling a bit under the weather, so thought I’d post 5 of my current favourite things. Thinking of things I like, usually helps make me feel better. 

1) Grey’s Anatomy. When this show started, I did watch it and enjoyed it. I recently started paying for NOWtv and the whole series was available. So I have been watching it A LOT. It’s really easy to watch, and can be funny. Really wish I had continued watching it before.

2) Youtube. I watch a lot of Vloggers very regular. And over the years I have built up a playlist of favourite videos. They tend to be retro gaming stuff, songs and general things that makes me laugh. Watching this playlist always makes me feel better.

3) Going for walks. It has been really lovely weather here reccently, perfect for going out for walks. I live near the sea, and love the sound and smell of salty sea air. It also helps me clear my mind. 

4)Putting iPod on shuffle. I like to listen to a range of music, from Metal to Garage, I like everything. So sometimes the range of different bands that are played makes me feel free. I can get lost in the music, and all that matters is what comes through the headphones.

5)Library books. I am a bit of a romantic when it comes to books. When people read books, their brain creates this fantasy world, where the words on the page appear like a movie. With a library book, so many people have went into this fantasy world before you, and they may have seen it so different to you. And I really like that the same words could mean different things to different people. I thinks it’s kind of beautiful. 

Change of the Seasons (BEDA)

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Its the time of the year when the days are getting longer and its becoming a little warmer. I love the spring. I love the fact I can go out for more walks and can see everything growing again after the cold winter. 

I am trying to get more healthy and I have been walking a lot more over the last few weeks. It’s a great way to de-stress, and the longer days with better weather gives me the chance to do it. The lighter days also can effect people’s mood. There has been evidence that the volume of sunlight a person sees in a day helps their mood. And with the sun making an appearance this past weekend, I can see how that is true. 

I am back at work tomorrow, but am so happy and bouncy. I am ready for the warmer weather and the challenges that lie ahead. And hopefully, like the rest of the natural world, I can grow from it. 

Fighting Sleep (BEDA)

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I never seem to sleep enough hours. It’s recommended that you need 7-9 hours sleep every night, but I get nowhere near that amount. It’s not that I am awake at all hours, it’s that i am restless. I don’t get a good sleep.

I recently recieved a Fitbit Charge for my birthday, and it records your sleep patterns. 

  I am finding that I can be a bit low on energy for the whole day. So I am trying to eat healthier and do more exercise. Hopefully I’ll sleep a bit better, and I can now monitor it. I don’t know if it will work, but it is worth a try. 

I do wonder, does getting fitness involved gadgetry actually help people get fit? Only one way to find out, I guess.

Harder Than I Thought (BEDA)

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Blogging itself is something that I find quite natural. Typing out my thoughts and feelings is something that I find quite simple. My problem can sometimes be when I get a bit of writer’s block, and I struggle to find anything to say. And when that happens, it can be hard to get back into the rhythm of  creating regularly.

That is where BEDA can be a challenge. Keeping myself motivated can be hard, particularly being motivated enough to post every day. I have found it hard this weekend because it has been my birthday weekend, and I have been super busy. You will notice, that I have kind of ‘copped out’ and posted some pictures, because it saved time. But looking at it now, I think that the photos help break the monotony from the written posts. Although I may not have the time, I like that I am still motivated enough to post something. Which is great.

Is there anyone else out there blogging every day this month? How are you finding the challenge of updating every day?

Out and About (BEDA)

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Today was a lovely day, so I thought I’d head out for a walk. Heading along the Fife Coastal path and got a little snap happy. Featured is an old shooting point from World War 2 and the new Queensferry Crossing being build across the Forth Estuary. I love the sea air, and have grown up around this area. When you see the gorgeous scenery, I can’t understand how people can say they hate living in Fife.  

               

I Can Adult. Honest. (BEDA)

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Another birthday. 

Another year older.

And still I get over excited about TV shows, books and bands that I love. I still watch cartoons and make up cartoon characters. It sometimes feels like my body may get older, my brain refuses to. 

And i don’t think that is as bad a thing as it may seem. One of the worst things about growing up, is that people around you seem bored with life. The sense of fun they had as a child, to make everything a game. Where cracks seemed to be papered over so easily, and any issues were forgotten within a few days. 

So maybe being a childish adult isn’t too bad? 

Nice 

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes a pictures makes me feel warm. And for me it’s the one below, at the moment. I love that the warm sun is coming up as I am on my way to work. Makes me all ready for the day ahead. 

Do you have a picture which makes you feel happy at the moment?  

Hard Done By

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes people get different opportunities to you. Be it at work or school, if someone gets to do something you’ve had your eye on, it can be hard to accept. It can sometimes feel like you are getting overlooked and certain people are being favoured. We all know the type of person who sucks up to teachers and managers with an aim to get what they want. The people who act best pals with those higher than them, because they think it gives them opportunities. 

I have been thinking about this recently, most because I feel overlooked at work. And when I know I am working hard, it can be difficult to acknowledge that I am not good enough for something. It seems to make it even harder to acknowledge when someone else seems to get everything I am looking for. It just makes me feel sorry for myself, because I am not getting the opertunity to do what I want. And it seems to make work a drag, as I feel under appreciated. And this person, getting what I want, doesn’t seem to be doing anything different to me. So I assume it has to be favouritism that has got this person to where they are. A sense that most people will feel at some time of their lives, usually where there is competition for roles. 

I was working away one day, and was thinking about ‘favouritism’ at work. It is highly likely that it is not a thing that is actually happening, just something in my mind. Because I feel I am working hard I feel I deserve recognition. It’s almost as if someone is getting to do what I want, there must be a reason for it. It’s like my brain won’t accept that I am not suited to a role or that someone else may be better at it than me. I always seem to take things too personal, and think it’s just because a person is friendly with a manager.

This makes me feel guilty, because I don’t want to feel against someone who is just doing their job well. Maybe all I need to do is change the goals I see in front of me. If I can’t get what I want, I should change what I wan to something more achievable for me. And I guess that’s my advice for anyone who ever finds themselves in that situation. You spend a large portion of your life in school or work, and it is a lot of time if you spend your time feeling sorry for yourself because of what others are doing. 

#DearMe – A letter to teenage Sue

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Hi.

I know that people are harsh, but try and put what they say behind you. These people may think they are better than you at High School, but they aren’t. A lot of these people, who you cry over, won’t be a part of your life after School. Rather than waste your evenings crying over what these people say, spend you time with your actual friends, that actually like you. Some of those friends will live far away in the future, so make sure you spend as much time with them as you can.

Don’t make yourself feel bad for your body shape. You have never been stick thin, and that isn’t a bad thing. Every person is different, and no difference is better than another. You give up sports because you don’t like how you look, don’t do that. Keep playing football and rugby because you love it, don’t let the remarks of others stop you. Also, binge eating doesn’t stop what people say about you, and it always ends up making things feel worse.

Work hard. School becomes a miserable place, and it even puts you off reading, even though you have always loved reading. Pick classes you are interested in, and work on them. Don’t do  filler classes just so that you are in classes with friends. Although it seems fun, it is a bloody distraction. It is part of the reason that you struggle at school, and the ‘laziness’ habit you get into causes a problem when you hit college.

You have quirks. You like books, computer games and cartoons, and that’s okay. Everyone has interests and hobbies, all that matters are that yours make you happy. Be proud of who you are, experiment with everything in your life, and find out what works for you. Have fun, don’t force yourself into situations which makes you feel horrible. The questions and doubts you have about your sexuality aren’t bad, you just are a bit scared because there is noone to talk to. Your friends will support you, so talk to them about it, don’t let it batter away at your confidence.

Please remember, you are worthy of love, happiness and the life you dream. Enjoy your teenage years, and have fun.

Love Older You

_______

The #DearMe project is actually a Youtube project, but due to me having an issue with a corrupted memory card, I thought I’d blog it. It aims to inspire and motivate young women everywhere. The advice you would give You, may help someone going through those issues now. The video for the campaign on Youtube is over here. The campaign started yesterday, which was International Women’s Day, so it’s a little late.

Is there any advice that you would give to your teenage self?