Author: Sue

I have been writing in various forms since I was a child. I write about what is going on in my life, what I enjoy, and the struggles of dealing with chronic illness and mental health issues. I love live music, football (Scotland and Dunfermline Athletic), reading, Formula 1, Stock Cars, and eating lots of vegan crap.

Picks of the bunch

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I spend a lot of time on the internet, as you probably already know, so I thought I’d post my ‘finds of the day’. Its basically a way for me to bookmark what I like, and what I may not like. It seems like a good idea, but I always find interesting things, then forget where I found them. This was an idea I thought of, on my way home from work, tonight.

Draw!

http://drawn.ca

This site features various types of illustrations and cartoons. It has been created as a collaboration blog, where more than one person can update the blog, and post things. A quick scroll down the main page shows the variety of the work on show here. The blog is updated, usually, every few days, and this keeps the site fresh and up to date. It is a good site for browsing through when you are looking for some much needed inspiration. As a person, who works both in traditional media, and digitally, I find the range of creations on this site very broad, and the site seems to have all bases covered. I highly recommend this site to anyone with an intrest in art.

Last FM

http://last.fm

LastFM is a site that I use a lot. It is a ‘social music network’, and I use it to find new music. You can use the site in a number of ways. The way I tend to use it, is by allowing last.fm to note what songs I listen to on either iTunes or Windows Media Player.  It does this using a technique called ‘scrobbling’. It works by installing an ‘add-on’ to your music player of choice, and keeps a note of each song you listen to, and sends it to your page on the main site. This then creates a library of the artists you listen to, and the site recommends you some artists, which are similar to what you already listen too. The site also enables a user, to listen to ‘radio stations’ online (available via subscription in some countries). As well as having pages for listeners, bands and artists can create their own pages, where they can upload their own tracks and promote themselves. This is one of my favourite websites, mostly because it contains a lot of music, which is what I am personally interested in. I have discovered 9 bands in the last 2 days, and these are bands I would never have heard off (Russian Punk, anyone?). The site has seen a reccent rush of upgrades, as it made a deal with Microsoft, for the LastFM radio service to be available through its Xbox 360 console. This has opened the site up to a wider audience, and has proven to be very successful for the site.

The Casualties- We Are All We Have

A hardcore punk band from New York City, The Casualties are a huge influence on me. They have been one of my favourite bands for a few years now. I love the energy that they pile into every song, it blew me away the first time I heard them. They are one of the bands I haven’t seen live yet. This is the type of music which influences me most.

Brand This.

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I have thought a lot recently (wow). About how advertisements have become a huge part of our everyday lives. I mean every thing which has a logo, is there to identify and promote that product. Whether it’s the electrical company branded television in your front room, or the badge on the grill of your car. It is all advertising that product to other people, to get the name stuck in your head.

I mean I can tell you now that I am typing this blog on an HP keyboard, and viewing it on a Compaq monitor. Companies have always wanted their products to be identified as their products. Now, in this simplified form, it makes sense. If you put a product out into the public domain, you want people to know you made it.

So this comes down to everything, from buses to pencils, from microchips to microwaves. A brand name is there, to provided easy identification of a product or service. What ever you use has identification of some kind branded on it. On things like televisions, the branding tends to be just off the line of vision, as although your eyes aren’t focused on it, your mind still absorbs the information. This is a popular tactic with logos, apply them in places which will it noticed. This is why you have branded clothing labels and tv channels, with the small symbol in the corner.

Because these logos, are something which are not actively promoted, there is no conscious thought process involved, and your brain takes in a lot more than you think. This is why logos and branding are so important to get right. Logos are the most important parts of advertising, get it wrong, and it shows your company in a negative light. Get it right, and it could become as well known as McDonald’s ‘golden arches’.

So as a designer, you need to be aware of what kind of message, the company in question, would like to convey. This is as relevant as the shape and colour of the logo, effects to how a person percieves the logo. A representation of one thing, goes as far back as the 17th Century, where a Coat of Arms, was used to classify a person. This was was a way of identifying one person from another, which is why people use logos for, for identification.

The main thing, which is needed when designing a good logo, is communication with your client. This makes sure that whatever you design, conveys the desired message. Its not doing what they say, its colaberating on it.

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Welcome to another week, coinciding with me being ill and not able to face going outside at all. So been lying in my bed, making screen caps and just doing nothing. *sigh*

The meds I’m on are supposed to stop me feeling like this. My mum and dad, think its something I ate, which made me ill, but I have a feeling its all cause I work myself up into some kind of stupid state. I mean I try to think, that I’ll be ok, and its just the ‘blues’, but ignoring the feeling don’t make anything any easier. I can’t face work, but I risk losing my job if I phone in sick. So I just end up making myself go to work, ill. And that’s not good for anyone. So do I risk my job by staying off, or by going in and end up crying at the first negative thing a customer says.

See, I am stressing over something, I shouldn’t have stress about. Plenty of other people don’t give a shit about work, and I make my self more ill thinking about having to take time off. I do my head in completely.

So I sat and listen to music today

Up and at’em.

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Well I’m up anyway.

I’m sitting here, still trying to get this design theory done, and what do I do? I decide to open up a website. I was sitting around last night, and I was thinking that I need to do something different, get an actual piece of the internet, that’ll represent me completely.
And that’s when I thought of Psychobabble. The word itself means, something that may only make sense to one person. And that’s kind of representive of me in general.
The word itself came into my head, when I was walking home after a dead end shift on Kana, which is the Sky Help Centre, where customers can email in, rather than phone. It was everything from, ‘you bastards for not refunding me for a box office i never watched, but never told you there was an issue till now’, to ‘I am 18 and want a job in your Uddingston call centre in Glasgow’. But it was a nice break from ‘my sky isn’t working cause there’s snow on the dish’. Ugh. SO anyway..,I was thinking I need a way to get out of this job, so really need to jump on the whole freelancer, lets get my own work thing.

And thats when I started thinking about what kind of website I would like, well it would be slightly crazy and bright. The reason I am starting on the website is because whilst I have limited knowlege on building a website, I have no idea how to get a domain name, etc. So that’s the main point of this. I learn more when I just work through things myself, so thats what I’m attempting.
See how it goes.

Its something I have NEVER done before, so it may all go dramatically wrong. But I’ll never know if I don’t try. So wish me luck.
In the next coming days, the logo will be done, and I’ll be getting hosting and domain name sorted, hopefully.

Progress…..kinda

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Well I am still writing this god forsaken essay on the history of Illustration. I know what it is I need to write, and what I want to say, but after 5 days, I have two paragraphs. So its getting there, but I think a snail has a faster pace than this essay.

Sooo, giving up for a bit to do the work on the artists. Because I think that will hold my attention more, as I have a thing about talking about artists. So hopefully that will go a bit better. *fingers crossed*

So the movement and artists. I am focusing on two artists per movement.

Art Nouveau- Henri Toulouse-Lautrec & Alphonse Mucha

Arts & Crafts – Eric Gill & Walter Crane

Bauhaus- Paul Klee & Wassily Kandinsky

Futurism- Wladimir Burliuk & Gino Severini

For my essay.
As I have already said, I am doing illustration. So first of all I am going to do the history of illustration, which I am currently working through. I need to mention two movements which were of importance to illustration. And then pick two artists from each movement, and why they I view them as important to illustration, and its progression through the ages.

Kind of confused with which I should do. So I’ll do my artist work for my sketch book first. And then take it from there.
*crosses fingers*

Back to reality

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And realising I am totally screwed.
Sitting trying to write an essay on the history of Illustration, my brain has frazzled, its offical.
I don’t know why I leave EVERYTHING to the last minute, I do it all the time.

I am also feeling like a big blob of nothing today. I mean the state of me is horrible. I have put on wieght in the last year, because I was stressed, and to ease stress, I eat. And that just makes me more stressed, its just a big circle. 😦 Its also having the worst effect on my skin. I mean my whole body is covered in dry, nasty skin, and its so itchy. So, I’m going to have to start moisturising my whole body, to try and help ease the itchiness. And I am lazy, and moisturising takes me ages, cause I seem to have a lot to cover. So to make me feel better, I had a bath this morning, and then covered everything in moisturiser. To be honest it made me feel a lot more confortable. But the thought of having to go through that process every day, before college, is not doing anything for my lazy. I am expert at getting up and washed 10 minutes before I’m due to leave the house. But this means I am actually going to have to get a morning schedule, and be awake enough to adhere to said schedule.
I also am getting all the vitamins I should be eating as a vegetarian, as I don’t think I am helping matters by not getting the right nutrients in my body. Which was made apparent, when in early December I was advised to eat fish off my doctor, due to me very sickly. So major attempt 2 at vegetarianism, and I am going to try and eat more than macaroni cheese and cheese on toast.. On a good thing, I had quite a hefty dose of veggies yesterday. But I am still not having a very big appetite. Its odd, and so unlike me. Also looking to get into swimming more, and thinking about joining a class. Dunno what kind of class, but something that I could go to, which would help me get a bit fitter.

Sounds like some sort of plan.

One step at a time though, and the main thing is the moisurising thing, because I can not live with this itchy skin.

So, that’s another year gone.

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I swear each year goes by faster and faster.
I did something unthinkable and stuck to a resolution this year. I managed to get into blogging again. And have become totally addicted to it. Its like I have this almighty yearning to go to a computer and type up some bullshit. I don’t think people appreciate how much blogging can help you get things off your chest. I mean would people prefer that they get even more bullshit from me, than what they all ready do?

This year has had a lot of low points, with having a few people I’m close to die, and also a suicide attempt a few months ago. I have struggled this year both financially and mentally. Without having a release or any of my friends to rely on, I really doubt I could have made it without any of them. So thank you. Thats the people I have befriended through this site, the GC fam, work pals, College pals, rosyth Peoples, cowdenbeath/kelty peoples and basically anyone who has offered me something to lean on this past year. I love you all.

There has been some good things this year, like seeing Nofx for the first time in 8 years, having banter with many bands including Dogsflesh, Outl4w and 4PM. Just going to gigs generally makes me happy. I am planning on some more gigs this year, seeing as I missed out on some in 09. Mostly because its been the year, when I’ve never had money. Which is fail, its like I work to get by, and thats it.

Hope everyone has a grand Hogmanay, whatever you’re doing. See ya in 2010.

The day after the night before

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Feeling kinda rough today.
Had my works night out last night, and it was great. Had about ten pints of lager and was kinda wasted at the end of the night. Was good though. Well, I enjoyed it. As with all work nights out, there was a bit of drama. It was between Sam, Jade and Jen. Jade’s one of the new members of the team, and Jen and Sam have been pals for a while now. They are all involved with guys, but Jade was all over everyone, especially Sam. Jen didn’t want to take part in their messing around, so she was completely ignored by Sam and Jade.

I mean they were sitting snogging in the toilets. Sam has a boyfriend and Jade is engaged, and I hate cheating. I’m trying to not be judgemental about it, but its hard when I saw how hurt Jen was.
I think work is going to be slightly awkward tonight. I hope it isn’t, but I just have that feeling.

Other than that, everyone got on, and it was a good, if expensive night. Sky had £300 behind the bar, and it lasted less than an hour.

I still haven’t been payed from my work, I get paid on Wednesday, and its going to be rush of christmas shopping. Heading to Kirkaldy on do some shopping, actually I mean all my shopping. I have my little sister a necklace, but that’s about it. I don’t even know what I’m getting everyone. *sigh*

I don’t understand how I’m so far behind on shopping, I mean its not like christmas sneaks up on us every year. Its always the same. I am getting worse and worse about buying, because I feel like ignoring it, and it won’t come. I’ve been doing that way too much lately. Its not just presents, its my bills, I just ignore them, and end up getting in a lot of bother. Its like I feel like I’m trying to get my feet cleared, but the banks and things just keep on charging me. I mean its not fair. How am I supposed to help myself when I go to the bank, and all they can offer is a paid account, which still limits me on my overdraft.

Stupid everything.

Blah

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Get this.

First deadline for ALL my college work next week, and guess who is probably going to miss said deadline?

That’s right. MEEEEE! (what a good guess)
The worrying thing is that I am not as stressed as I probably should be. Which is odd. I am usually at panic stations, but all I want to do is do other things. Such as drawing my character (whose name has changed from Kaiko to Kako).

Talking about Kako, I have went crazy drawing her. Its like I have been drawing her loads, and its the only thing I seem to have any productivity for. Its odd cause as a kid, I used to have all these dreams about ‘foxy-people’ and its like it is now I’ve finally found a way to put these thoughts into something productive. I felt that if i could start on something productive, I could transfer it across to my college work, which is easier said than done. I just can’t focus at all.

Its like all I do right now is college and work, and that’s it. Its driving me fecking mental.

So…umm

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Yeah, I skipped College today. There was 2 reasons for it.

1) I am skint and my bus pass ran out yesterday, so physically can’t afford college, unless I chance it with an out of date bus pass. Which I don’t want to do, cause they may just take the pass off me, including my college card. Which they have done before.

2) I was very, very upset yesterday. Im hoping I am just ‘dipping’ because my meds have been changed, but I dont think thats it. I was so close to phoning the Samartians because I just wanted to throw myself of something and end it all. Pretty severe, when you think that the medication is supposed to stop me feeling like that. But after I blogged, I went to the toilets and had a cry.

*sigh*
Anyways. I lay in bed this morning reading Death Note, and feeling sorry for myself. When I am like that, I am better just lying, locked away from everyone, cause I’ll just say something stupid.

I still haven’t done any work, although I sat and drew at my work last night. I say I draw, it wasn’t anything spectacular, but it was all I could do from walking out of my work last night, and never going back. Whats bugging me, is that how am I supposed to make sure I am doing everything for a customer, when the call center manager is on my back telling me to hurry up and get on the next call. If I need to email another department, I can’t. And that is not helping me at all, when I am feeling this stressed.

Just focusing on Saturday, where I’ll be up in Aberdeen with two of my oldest friends, Sharon and Gemma. Its Gemma’s birthday night out. I’m just looking to clear my head, so am really looking forward to it. Its kind of like the light at the end of the tunnel. Reminds me, I need to get Gemma and Sharon bday things on Friday, when I get paid.