Keeping on track (BEDA)

Whoops! Someone forgot to post yesterday. I was actually socialising for a change, and forgot to post. I only actually thought about it this morning, when I checked my blog on my phone and realised I didn’t update. This would be an easy place to give up on the challenge, but I thought I’d carry on regardless. It wouldn’t be a challenge if there were no hiccups along the way.

That is something that I am trying to change about myself. I have always been very good at giving up when things get a little bit hard. It’s like I have been programmed into thinking that I should quit something before I fail at it. If I do that, it is like I am taking my fate into my own hands. Except, that isn’t really true. I take the easy way out, because giving up is easier than trying hard at something. It’s maybe why so much of my life hasn’t met my expectations. I haven’t really seen anything through to completion. And then wonder why I am stuck in a minimum  wage job.

I have the dreams, to be better at what I do. To get paid to do something that I am passionate about. That was why I went to college, to hopefully get me on the path to a job I loved. Unfortunately that hasn’t worked out for me, and I think it is my issue with seeing things to completion. I always think I am going to fail, so it’s easier to quit. It says a lot about my self confidence that I think that. But I have never had a good self confidence. And it’s hard to gain belief in yourself, especially when you never had any before. I want to change it, but its only possible if you take one thing at a time. Doing things like writing challenges may seem silly, but it is motivational, and helps me believe in me. Something I need to do a little more of.

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