As much as I try to be positive about it, I always end up crying at least once on my birthday in an overwhelming dose of self-pity.
Birthdays are a natural point where someone can look back on their last year, and deem whether it’s been a success or not. Unfortunately, I don’t have many years I count as being successful. I am 27, still working a crap part-time job, still living at home, still a total waster. No matter what I try to think about, it’s always the same negative points my thoughts lead back to.
I guess, I just have to take a deep breath. In the last year I saw Blink 182 and Good Charlotte, I met Charlie Harper and John Robb. I got the chance to meet Good Charlotte fans I have spoken to for years. Got a new Good Charlotte album. Got a new Green Day album. Somehow became an expert on blogging, and helped a few people get started with posting things. I bungee jumped. I got hammered at Blackpool Pleasure Beach and went on the Pepsi Max. I got addicted to coffee. I got re-addicted to Green Day.
A lot did happen that actually makes me feel good about the last year. It’s just trying to train myself to focus on these things. But at 27, it is not easy to kick the habit of thinking about the negatives. I am trying to get past the thoughts that I am almost grieving my birthdays as I get older. It’s hard. It’s painful to know that you aren’t going to be able to achieve all the things you thought possible as a kid.
Being a realistic adult is such a drag.
Music- Green Day- Jesus of Suburbia