Tag: progress

Ball Of Sunshine

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am happy.

For the first time in a long time, I am enjoying a period where I am experiencing a few more ups than downs. It is great, and not something I am used to. I am singing and laughing every day, instead of moping and crying. It is rather freeing being upbeat, it is like I am bouncing around without a care in the world. Nothing is getting to me, and it is a strange feeling.

The issue is. When you build your whole ‘internet life’ on helping you de-stress, what do you do when you don’t need to? I don’t feel the need to rant about things that have went wrong, because for some reason it doesn’t seem to be bothering me. Talking about it, may end up jinxing it all, but I feel that I should try to talk about it. No matter how much of a struggle it is, just because I want this blog to show an honest portrayal of me, and I need to show that people with depression and anxiety do have periods of happiness. It may not happen often, but it does happen.

So where did this feeling of happiness come from?

Recently I have been doing a job that I enjoy at work. I feel like I have a purpose. I feel like I can share my experience of the last few years in the business helping those less experienced. I am also taking an engineering course through a collaboration between my work and a local college, which is interesting. And then I have signed up for a Creative Coding class, through FutureLearn, which also looks exciting. It is the most ‘forward thinking’ I have been in a long time, and the way I am feeling shows that. Nothing may come of all that is going on, but my mental health is glad for the break. So forgive me, as I revel in being genuinely happy.

Like A Rubber Ball…

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I’m back again. So sorry for the lack of posts over the last week or so. It seems my excitement over getting better, was a little bit misjudged, as I felt pretty bad last week. I can deal with being sick, but when I couldn’t keep my dinner down because of coughing? No no no no no, I have no time for that. I like my food, and hate to give it up. Think of me, like Joey from Friends. I don’t share food, and really hate giving it up. For anything. Even being sick. 

I am feeling better, coughing is still there, but nowhere near as all-conquering as it has been. And because I can talk in sentances without trying to cough up a lung, yesterday I recorded a video. I was planning on editing and uploading it instead, but I fell asleep in the bath. Don’t judge me. I am still ‘healing’. I have the doctors tomorrow, so should be home early, and will get the video edited then. That’s the plan anyway. 

Anyway, hope anyone reading this is doing well. And I hope that you haven’t been caught up by the bugs and viruses that seem to be everywhere. 

Home!!

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

So, I have done a little bit of re-modelling, to help wordpress be more homely. So, rather happy that it seems to all look ok. Well, for me, writing after 2am, sitting in my bed, it looks ok. *shrugs* My thoughts may be different when I am actually awake at a reasonable hour.

I guess I needed to add a little personal touch to proceedings, as this blog reaches second birthday in a few months, and it looked as bland as a boyband. Considering all I did was draw the lettering at work, and spent 5 minutes scanning it into the PC before uploading, it looks good. I think it is one of these things, the stuff you spend no time on at all, looks better than the things you spend AGES on.

I think this blog now looks a lot more organised than it did, because I am NEVER organised, so I never spent anytime on how it looked. Mostly because writing has been the only thing I have had any motivation in, AT ALL, so I never even worked on a banner. Sad times. But right now, I am back to using Photoshop on a daily basis, and am feeling so creative.

It’s such a good feeling after having nothing for so long. I go through phases of productivity, which if you have read this before, then you may have an idea of. And, although I still have periods where I can’t do anything, there are becoming more ‘ups’ than ‘downs’. Which is a relief, considering this is what I want to do with my life.

Other than working for Sky, of course. That was a life ambition. *rolls eyes*

Some Kind Of Second Wind

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am actually motivated.
*shock*

I have been doing some designs for t-shirt designs, and I’m so excited about them. Mostly because I haven’t had a real feel of any creativity in a while. Just little bits, here and there.  But this is something solid. Well, more solid than anything I have been doing.

The last few days, forcing myself to go into work in awful conditions, when there is no thanks or appreciation for it. It makes me feel like I have no real purpose, and nothing would change whether I was there at all. It’s making me feel rather depressed, to be honest. So, rather than sit and mope about it, I am trying to use the bad job help motivate me into something better. Something for me.

Because, I don’t know about you, but when I was younger I never pictured myself working a crappy job in a call centre. *shrugs* So, I am working on some spiral-things, because I am trying to design a princess tiara (don’t ask), and it’s harder than I thought it would be. -.-

But yeah, 2011 is gearing up to be a good year.

Over-excitement

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am doing my website.
Finally.

Okay, to be honest, I have felt so jaded with anything creative over the past few months. Like I couldn’t face it at all. But today I woke up, and thought I’d do some work on my website. So I started doing it, and got so excited. I was doing something productive, and it was coming to me so easily.

I think I got so happy because, because I have really struggled over the last few mionths.

Really stoaked

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I have a lot of painting coming up, all projects are my own and are for gifts for my friends. But I am so excited about it.

The only one I can talk about is Christmas cards. Sick of having to buy cards, or getting ‘handycraft’ cards, I decided that this year I am going to make handmade cards. It is going to be painted scenes, and festive colours mostly. Just something a little different.

It feels really personal if someone has done that. I also have a few winter photographs from last year I may use. Like of photos of the glen, like nice snowy pictures. Actually never been this excited about christmas cards, actually never been so excited about christmas so early. But I can’t help it.

I have been stuck in this almighty rut all summer, and now I have the motivation to do something, I can’t help but get excited. Whoooo!

Muse-day

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Another day gone, and another day closer to the unreachable deadline.

I went to college today, and got really, really frustrated with the fact that I couldn’t get anything done. So everythings due in, and I have done nothing. *bangs head off wall*

My graded unit book does look pretty awesome, but its the general layout and not the volume of work which gives that appearance. Which is sad. I do love it though. Its like a wee child, so I want it to do well. (How sad do I sound?)

I’m gonna try and get some more drawings done tonight, for it, so that I can at least appear that I have done some developement. The horrible thing is that my other project is nowhere near this one. *sigh*

Talk about fail 😦

Rome wasn’t built in a day…

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Good news, everybody.

I have made progress in three of my college projects, Graded Unit, Art & Design Project and Web Design.

I know this doesn’t seem like very much at all, but I was working in college from 9am, seeing as I had no classes, it seemed like a good idea. Well, despite the fact that the college was so noisy, I still managed to get some work done. I am so happy,  because usually, the slightest noise is enough to throw me off, and my concentration levels plummet. 

I always seem to get motivated late, like way after I should. If I had worked like this throughout the year, then I would have been ok, and not late with anything. But, alas, I’m just not that perfect, so hence me rushing about like an idiot, last moment.  *rolls eyes*

But at least, it’s a start

Motivation Such An Aggrivation

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

So.

Because I am so addicted to Youtube at the moment, I have decided to link one of my other projects to it. For my final animation I have to do something for my website, a short animation which runs for like 20 seconds. What I decided to do was do an animation entrance into my website, and actually use it as an #intro’ to my Vlogs on youtube.

I think that will be a good idea, and it does make me want to go and start this now. Also , I have talked about before, how I had to do an animated e-card, and I was going to do it on Beltaine (the fire festival). Well, it was too hard to get it the way I wanted it to look. So I decided to swap the holiday to Halloween. Mostly because I was getting so frustrated that I was not wanting to even look at the stuff.

So this should make this a bit easier. I am already further ahead than what I was on my old animation. It features a cat, and a pumpkin, and I KNOW it sounds really cliched, but its something easy to do. And because I am scrapping my old one, and I have to hand it in by Monday. Thats about 4 days to do a whole animation and re-do all the planning.

Aaaaaarrrrgggghhhh!

But it has me excited over the fact that soon I could have a full animated intro to my Vlogs. *Yay*

Other than my animation, I am now designing Shaun’s portfolio site as part of my web design unit. I have done his banner for his site, and I’m going to hopefully start laying it out sometime over the last week. But at the moment I am sorting out his images, and getting all the content ready, so I can just go straight on and build the site. So things seem t0 be starting to move on that front.

Good times. 😀

I just have to hope it stays like that. *crosses fingers*

Productive

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

So, today was rather productive at college. Ok, I did sleep in again, but thats because it takes me till at least 4am to get to sleep. So when I do get to an unconcious state, I end up sleeping through my alarm, which is no good.

Anywho, handed in outcome 2 for vis com and worked on my Graphic Design sketch book. I feel happy with myself about that. Although I have been doing some work for my graphic design class, I am still way behind from where I need to be. Which is just bloody frustrating.Gonna try and do some more work for it tonight whilst at work, like between calls or something.

 Looks like its going to be another Freesat night, where customers call, and I can do very little. -.- Its very annoying, because I only have access to one system, and thats the one that runs the paid sky accounts on it. So freesat customers call and expect me to access their info, and I cant. Its annoying, and I can tell some of the customers are not happy about it. But its not my fault, I’m getting calls, I dont have the facility to deal with. I can order them new viewing cards, but thats it. Grrr

Also discovered my bus pass runs out next Tuesday, so I wont be able to get to college, and im gonna struggle with work too. *bangs head off wall* I never have enough money -.- So thats what I need, just as we are approaching project hand-ins, days off.