Social Media Bore?

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In world where there appears to be a need to constantly stream our lives over social networks, it is a struggle to find meaning in ones life. Taking photos of coffees, dinners and things the world, outside our own heads, don’t really care about. We then publish these photos as if they are important snippets of who we are as people.

Our social media selves are a very different person to our real selves. For example, I don’t drink half as much coffee as my Instagram would have you believe. I am also not as confrontational or witty as I am on twitter. I work, I sleep, I eat too much, I watch Netflix. That is me in a nutshell. But even that is a lie. Yes I do all of those things, but it is not who I am. Or is it?

There are various schools of thought which suggests that a person is more honest to themselves when they can speak freely. Which is a basic idea of social media. Or should I say, ‘ideal’? There is a bullying presence across social media, as people grab on to numerous aliases to anonymously berate people they disagree with. This produces a fear of being honest and true, because when someone turns against you, it can be harsh.

So people can hold back. I know I do. I post things that will start no conflict, purely so that I can feel like I can share, without sharing. So the ‘Starbucks Instagram’ happens rather than posting art work or writings that are personal. Because if someone berates my coffee pic, who cares, it’s just coffee. But if someone berates something I have worked on to create, I take it personal. Particularly when those who are critical try so hard to be personally offensive.

So, I guess, people post boring because they may get their need to update ‘the world’, without exposing themselves too much. But again, that may be only my take.

Quickly! Quickly!

I am a person who always seems to be running late, or struggling to get things done. This means that things can end up not as well done as I would like. It is super stressful.

The silly thing is that other than my job, I don’t fill my time with anything notable. I tend to have small brainwaves of projects that I could do at work, or in bed, when I can’t really do anything about it. So, when it comes to actually doing something I either squeeze it in to whatever time I have left when I remember it, or I just completely forget. It is very annoying, because I suffer from creative blocks, and so when I get inspired you’d think I’d do my best to grasp it with both hands.

What I need to do is to create a plan. If I think of an idea, write it on my phone or whatever. And when I get home, I can look at the ideas and hopefully create something new. Because one of the things that has stopped me blogging is that I feel I am constant repeating myself, caused by me not being so forward thinking.

That’s sometimes all that someone can do, look to make changes to be better.

Procastinating

Do you ever have that moment of realisation, when you come out of what ever cocoon you have been surviving in, and discover that the world has still continued on?

Sounds silly, let me explain.

I have been so stressed out about starting work, and the last and a bit has been me working as hard as I can. I want to be useful and be the best me, that I can. As such, I have been living in this little bubble. I have met up with some friends and things, but I find that I have been mostly spending downtime cuddled up at home. Which is sometimes all a person needs after a hard days work, so I don’t feel bad about that. 

The bad bit is when I pop my head outwith my wee ‘bubble’ and it seems that a lot of other things has been going on. Be it good things, bad things, or just things people have to live through. The fact that these ‘things’ have happened, and I have been completely oblivious, does frustrate me. I do think that this may be because I like knowing what is happening around me, always have done. And, when I don’t know, I can feel a little confused, which I guess is perfect to describing how I feel now.  

I am confused because I feel like I am out of step with the world around me, and I don’t think there is a reason for me to feel like that. It happens every now and then, that time passes by a person so quickly that they reach for a break pedal. But, knowing that I shouldn’t worry about it, doesn’t stop me from worrying that I’ll miss something important

Hating for hatred’s sake.

It doesn’t take any effort, nor time, to hear about hatred. It isn’t necessarily about there being more hate, just that it is publicised more. It is in the newspapers, on the TV screens and strewn across social networks. It is reported, as well as boasted about by some.

I believe that hate is an adequate emotion to feel, despite how strong it appears to be. But because it is such a strong emotion, it evokes a strong reaction from other people. If someone can’t relate to the hatred that the see before them, then they react in an equally angry way, which can add fuel to a situation.

Anger and hatred, seems to incite anger and hatred. If you express what you feel in such a manner, it could come across as aggressive. That may not be intentional, it’s just that the emotions connected it are so strong, that they could be deceived as being aggressive.

So when we see more highly emotive attacks or intolerances being commited or reported in our vision, we can get angry. Intolerance is something that I dislike, so when I see people hating for no reason than their own lack of understanding, I get angry. I think that people need to take a step outside of their personal ‘bubbles’, and be aware that other people exist. Because, I don’t think some people seem to realise it. It is what they do and think, and that it is it. No-one else’s feelings or thoughts even come into the equation.

People need to become a lot more considerate. Before anyone says or does something to another person, they should think about how they would feel in the other person’s shoes. Not enough people do that.

Uch, this has been one of those blog posts where I didn’t know how to say what I wanted to. So sometimes, it is a good idea just to type my thoughts and see what comes out. So, if something makes sense it is awesome. 🙂

Expelling Energy

I have been awful restless over the last 6 and a half months. I have been out of work, and in a bit of a bad way, mentally. It has been a struggle doing anything, which is why I believe that this blog has dried up, and it has been so hard to get it rebooted again. To be honest, when you are not having to go to work or education, I think you can have the tendency to feel lethargic. Because if you chose to, you can sit alone, you don’t have to spend most of your days working or studying. So, your brain switches off. There is no focus for your thoughts, so you can just think about yourself and feel negative, because it may feel you are not going ‘anywhere’. 

What has lead to this pondering, is the fact that I started a new job today. And having a focus to kick-start my energy has ended up with me wanting to fill my day with more. Whereas before, I was meeting a friend during the day, and it was great. That was all I did. I didn’t have any energy to write about anything, because I had no motivation to observe what was around me, because it all just seemed pretty damned depressing. Now, I feel like I have achieved something today. That is something that is debatable, especially due to the fact that today was 99% induction, and I actually did very little. But it feels like I am a part of society again, like I am a functioning person again and I have a purpose. 

It maybe sounds a little over-kill, but it truly feels that revolutionary to me. It feels like a big thing in my life. With the 5am wake-up call forcing me into the world earlier than I would normally like, I feel like I have tapped into this unused source of energy, which has just propelled me through the rest of my day. I came home with a buzz, and that I wanted to write. I wanted to create something. I wanted to read a chapter of my book. I wanted to draw a few things. I have not felt this way in so long, it really is great. 

My last job was wearing me down. I had taken quite a dislike to it, and that was making me depressed. I was clashing with people, and because it was taking all my energy just to turn up, the job was not being done right. I was exhausted both physically and mentally after there for only an hour. At the time, I didn’t realise this, and I pushed and pushed myself, despite not succeeding at the most basic of tasks. Maybe it was just a change that was needed? Maybe I needed to do something different? And it is only now, when I have started at a new workplace, is it I realise how much energy I have when I am happy about working. I wake up in a good mood, I go to work in a good mood, I come home in a creative mood. 

Now, obviously, I can’t see into the future, and as such, I don’t know how long this job will make me feel like this. But, I feel like I have learnt a valuable lesson. I really am a threat to myself, when I let a job get at me, to the point I am crying every day. At the end of the day, as great as money is, nothing should ever make a person feel like they are unworthy. If something is making you feel so bad, that you are struggling to function, get it out of your life. Something negative can suck out all your energy, and believe me when I say that it is a horrible thing where the only thing that survives lack of energy, is self-doubt. 

So be who you want to be. Fill your time with as much happiness as you can and enjoy the energy you get as a result.

What I’m Listening To- August

Because I enjoyed it last time, I have made another list of the music that I have been listening to in August. Just a little bit of everything, and I get to do my favourite thing, make a list. A list about music, my favourite thing. 

1) Adamski- Killer

2)Agnostic Front- Liberty

3)Alex Day- Lady Godiva

4)Alexisonfire- Mailbox Arson

5)All Time Low- Alejandro (BBC 1 live lounge)

6)Annotation of an Autopsy- Sludge City

7)Anti-Flag- Die For Your Government

8)Atomic Kitten- I Want Your Live

9)Avril Lavigne- Losing Grip

10)B*Witched- Jesse Hold On

11)Bad Brains- Re-Ignition

12)The Beat-Tears of a Clown

13)Beatnic Prestige- Charlie Brown

14)Big D And The Kids Table- Not Fucking Around

15)The Blackout- This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

16)Bon Jovi- Wanted Dead Or Alive

17)Care Bears On Fire- Get Over It

18)The Casualties- System Failed Us…Again

19)Circle Jerks- Back Against The Wall

20)The Creepshow- Run For Your Life

21)The Distillers- The World Comes Tumblin’

22)Emilie Autumn- All My Loving

23)Eminem- When I’m Gone

24)Florence & The Machine- Dog Days Are Over

25)Frightened Rabbit- Go Go Girls

26)GBH- The Prayer Of A Realist

27)A Global Threat- Stop The Violence

28)Good Charlotte- The World Is Black

29)Green Day- Jesus Of Suburbia

30)Gwen Stefani- Harajuku Girls

31)H20- Everready

32)Hanson- Thinking ‘Bout Somethin’

33)Hollywood Holt- Fall Back

34)Horrorpops- Walk Like A Zombie

35)Jack Off Jill- My Cat

36)Jamie Cullum- Everlasting Love

37)Kilswitch Engage- As Daylight Ends

38)Kisses For Kings- My Mother Said

39)Kittie- Spit

40)Korn- Freak On A Leish

41)Lady Sovereign- I Got You Dancing

42)Lamb of God- Blood Junkie

43)Lars Frederiksen & The Bastards- Mainlining Murder

44)Linkin Park- Enth E Nd (Kutmasta Kurt ft. Motion Man)

45)The Maine- If I Only Had The Heart

46) Marina & The Diamonds- Hollywood

47)Middle Finger Salute- Guts For Glory

48)Mis-Teeq- All I Want

49)The Moldy Peaches-  Anyone Else But You

50)Municipal Waste- Anyone Else But You

51)Nofx- Kill All The White Men

52)Outl4w- Sonic Youth

53)P!nk- Most Girls

54)Papa Roach- Last Resort

55)Paramore- Crushcrushcrush

56)Patti Smith- Redondo Beach

57)The Pretty Reckless- Make Me Wanna Die

58)The Rabble- The New Generation

59)Rancid- Life Won’t Wait

60)The Restarts- Gang Mentality

61)S Club 7- Everybody Wants Ya

62)Selena Gomez & The Scene- Love You Like A Love Song

63)Shakespeare’s Sister- Stay

64)Sham 69- If The Kids Are United

65)Sonic Boom Six- Totally Addicted To Bass

66)Spice Girls- Spice Up Your Life

67)SS-Kaliert- Until We Strike Back

68)Stereophonics- I Wouldn’t Believe Your Radio

69)Street Dogs- Hang ‘Em High

70)Sugababes- About You Know

71)Time Again- Street Walker

72)Total Chaos- Vacation To Violation

73)UK Subs- Keep On Running

74)The Unseen- Social Security

Feeling Nostalgic?

I do. 

All the time. 

I crave for the days of yesteryear, where my life was not filled with finding ways to pay my bills. Where all I did is watch cartoons, and spend entire summers outside playing with my friends. Dancing to the Spice Girls and throwing Barbies up trees (for Action Man to rescue, obviously). Those where what my summers were full of. 

And now, I find myself playing Zelda and Mario games of my youth, whilst watching remakes of game shows I loved. I watch DVD box sets of Chip N Dale’s Rescue Rangers and Talespin, to remind me of a time when life was so much easier. As if consuming an entire series of Disney cartoons could, in some way, delay adulthood. 

It is of course, impossible. But as a generation of workers, with what looks like a pretty bleak future. According to the news agencies around us, we are either going to get poisoned with pollution, die in an atomic war or run out of money and lose civilisation. What can a normal person do about all that scary stuff? Not very much. So people of my generation, tend to look back at the period of their lives where everything was so exciting, before the heavy fist of reality knocked us to the ground. 

I guess I want to say, that it is okay to be nostalgic of days where you maybe felt like more of a success. Where life was really easy, because you didn’t have to deal with anything, really. The hardest thing you had to deal with, was which kid were you going to play with today. And then teenagerhood came, and everyone played the victim. We started to realise that life was maybe not all fantastic, but we could still just read books or play video games as a bid to escape. And then, you have to deal with the real world. You have to find a job, get experience, get a house or flat, have a relationship, plan for a future… It can be overwhelming. 

So as a result, more people are picking what they used to love, what made them happier in their youth, and using them as a shield against the real world. That sounds a lot worse than I mean. The world, and the companies that run it, are harsh, they don’t care about the people who pay them money. You are jostled from place to place, expected to act a certain way, and be a certain kind of person. It is normal to use something as a buffer, to act as a cushion from harsh reality, and that could be many things.  Sport, fashion, books, DIY, car care, hiking, blogging, creating art, playing computer games… all ways to help people relax and be themselves. It doesn’t matter what it is, what matters, is that you find a way that helps you cope. 

So, don’t listen if others berate you for liking certain things. All that matters is that it harms noone, and makes you happy.  And others should remember that, people pick things that make them feel secure to help them relax. If it doesn’t effect you, why be so critical on someone else?

Quote of the Day

Fact of the matter is, there is no hip world, there is no straight world. There’s a world, you see, which has people in it who believe in a variety of different things. Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, use that something to support their own existence.-Frank Zappa

Everyone has their own viewpoint, just because it is different, doesn’t mean it is wrong. As much as this is tolerance towards others, it also helps as a reminder when you hear opposing opinions to ones you hold. When that happens it is easy to feel attacked.

Sometimes you need to take a deep breath, and realise people are passionate about what they believe in. Just as you are. So don’t take it personal when someone attacks your beliefs. Just be greatful to be part of a conversation that evokes such passion.

Summertime

Although I am a winter lover, i also love the summer.

My favourite thing to do is to get up early and read in my garden. A time of relaxation, where the sun heats up the air slowly. Because it is early, there’s maybe a few dog walkers nearby, but it is peaceful. And it is a good environment to read through a hundred or so pages of whatever novel I have rented from the library.

If it gets to a certain degree of ‘hot’, I’ll lay my book aside and just watch people passing me by. I usually go into town, or a park and just watch people. It’s relaxing to watch others going about their day, even more relaxing when the sun is warming things up nicely.

The thing with summer is, that if it gets too hot, it can be exhausting doing anything. You cut the grass, and you become a sweaty, disgusting mess. And that is certainly enough to make me slow down and not be bothered doing anything else. I’m really lazy, so don’t need much of an excuse. And from the volume of people i see doing nothing, I think others agree with me. But lazy folk look for any excuse, really.

The summer brings out people’s fun side. As families cook barbecues or have waterfights, some take a crate of beers to the park to have with friends. People want to relax, and the increased brightness makes things seem that bit brighter and positive. I think it is great to see what a positive effect on people the sun has.
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This waffly mess of a blog comes from my warm back garden, and is sponsored by an unusual visitor to Scotland, the sun. Hope everyone is enjoying summer, and remember to protect yourself with sunscreen and plenty of water. ❤

Over Whelmed

The world NEVER switches off. No matter what time of day it is where you are, it is ‘rush hour’ somewhere. 

It is something that used to amaze me when I was younger. That when I was asleep, people where at school, having meals and working away. When you get to that realisation, it opens you up to thinking about a world outside your own personal ‘bubble’. There is a whole new world full of different behaviours, thoughts and lifestyles out there that we can be completely oblivious happen to. 

Even as an adult, the idea that there are communities completely different to the one I grew up in, has the capacity to freak me out a little. It’s not that I am feeling weird about people having a different way of living than me, it is the sheer scale of the variety that is out there. It’s just that there are so many cultures in the world, that people spend their whole lives trying to learn about. And then, these cultures, they all have their own history, which is another lifetime worth of studies worth. 

I think it can seem a bit over whelming when you think that nobody knows everything about the world. It makes me feel rather insignificant. Which is not as negative as it seems. As well as making the successes in life seem immaterial in the grand scheme of things, it also makes the failures seem super-small. As a person who mostly focuses on the negative things in her life, the fact that it is so tiny and irrelevant in regards to global events, it sometimes makes me feel better. That people make it through worse than I do every day, so maybe I can do something about my life.

It staggers me sometimes, that I get overwhelmed with my life, and nothing of value really happens there. I couldn’t imagine if I had to control a country or something on a global scale, because I don’t know if my wee bubble will expand enough to let everything in that needs to be there. I stress out organising my own life, imagine organising life for thousands or even millions of people?

Conclusion: with my organisational skills, it is best that I stay single and shout at Paris Gellar on my ipad as I watch yet another episode of Gilmore Girls. That I can deal with. Not Paris, she annoys me in a way that I can only express as love to hate her. And, yes, I know that she is a fictional character. She provides my bubble world with a villain, where the hero is Yoshi who drives his stupid Kart slower than everyone else. No matter how much I press that ‘A’ button, he doesn’t go any faster. There is a metaphor for my life in there somewhere.