Category: advice

Do What Makes You Happy

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Having a bad day?

The one way to make it brighter is to do something that makes you happy. Now, I don’t mean go and beat someone up, because that can make someone else sad.

What I mean, is that everyone has passions in life. That one thing that can make them happy and forget any problems. It may be music or sport. It could be anything. If you can do something that involves your passion, then it can make life, in general, a lot easier.

The important thing about having an interest, is remember that you may not be any good at it, but it doesn’t mean you can’t be involved, in some way. You may adore football, but are unable to stand for long periods of time, you could write a blog or run a fantasy football league. The only thing that stops you is you.

I’ll use myself as an example. I work in a job, which was only supposed to last during college. Over 2 years later I am still there. The job isn’t really all that bad, it just wasn’t what I had in mind for my life. My passions include art, music and reading. If I have a stressful day, I try to paint something random. I write little rants like this in a blog. I create playlists on spotify and lastFM. They are little things that make you feel happy. That make it easier to face an unwelcome day at work.

You don’t need to play a guitar to expressive yourself through music. You don’t need to be educated to write what you think.

Being able to such things that can make you happy, can help a person realise how priveliged they are. Yes, there will always be things that make us feel bad, but find little rays of light, that will make life easier for you.

Set Your Goals

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Things are never easy.

If they were, I guess there would be no real point of anything. You wouldn’t need any effort. I think the driving force through life, is the satisfaction that you get when you reach a target. So if the target wasn’t there, and you just got everything you wanted, would anything get done? I don’t think so. I think people would get lazy, as everything would simply come to them.

It’s a thing that I use to remind myself, when I do struggle with life. That these are there to keep me moving. That’s why a person dreams, to keep them active and motivated to be productive. And that reassures me. It helps me see that everyone else is doing the same thing. Just working towards their own targets that they have set themselves.

The difficulty is, some people make it look easy. But that’s all it is, looking easy. It doesn’t mean that person isn’t having a crap ‘ol time, it means that they do not let it effect them. And if other people see them having things ‘easy’ , then they can say to themselves that it isn’t all bad, and amble forward.

Everyone has different goals, ideas and what they want from life. The secret is to remember yours goals and focus on them. It’s very easy to be distracted by someone who seems to skip through life carelessly, but try not to be concerned about them. And how you become that person who can smile away, despite having an up-road struggle.

Smile! It makes everything that litte bit brighter. 🙂

Lust for Life

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

How good am I?

It has been a while since I started the PMA lifestyle change, and I am still going strong. I don’t think I ever thought how hard it was to make the change. I think it is expressing myself that changes most. As a frequent user of social media, I am used to posting any gripes with the world for others to see. For no real reason, it just made me feel like I was complaining to someone, and helped relieve some of the stress incurred by a particular situation.

This didn’t work. What it did do, was get me into a complaining mood, and I moaned about everything.  And this would set of a chain reaction by anyone who read what I had posted. So they would start thinking about their gripes, and it could really sour the moods of a lot of people, without much thought.

The lack of thought could have quite a chain effect. So I have been making a solid attempt to stop myself from making negative comments online., in a bid to get me out of that mind frame. Whilst there has been a lot of challenges with this, it has went pretty well. I have tried to keep a smile on my face, and at least keep my negativity to myself, and shift my focus to something else.

It has allowed me to enjoy where I am more, and I feel more comfortable about any situation I am in. The key for getting past any negativity, for me, is to focus on that silver lining, there always is one, and focus all your energy on that. It really has helped, and I am in a better place for doing so.

Considering Worth

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am one of the many people who has grown up with a low sense of self-worth. It is a creation for the over indulged masses, whose thoughts and feelings are considered more valuable than any physical work they can do.

After thinking about it, this something that is created by people who simply are not busy enough. It is hard to think self-indulgently if you have to work manual labour all day, every day. But people in developed countries, rarely work such demanding jobs, so their energy goes into analyzing their dreams and various other pieces of tedium. It is not to disrespect those who feel depression and over analyse things, but it does bear thinking if they would still behave in those manners if they were worked harder.

Sounds silly, but it has been thought previously, that people get depressed because they have the time to get depressed. Which is interesting. I am a person who has suffered from depression, to the stage that suicide was considered. Why did I feel like that? Because I put overwhelming pressure on myself, and felt lonely. Loneliness was brought on because I lived in a big city on my own, with noone to talk to. I only had my thoughts, and this gave me time to get depressed.

Also, the developed world also has a way of looking down on people who believe in themselves and get things done. How many kids get bullied for simply doing their homework and behaving well? So, if this is mentality kids are growing into, where the underachiever is the best, then is it a wonder people have low self worth. This could also lead into a bad work ethic, where people are lethargic, which leads to poor satisfaction of life and depression. And when you get into the deep, dark hole of depression, it is hard to escape.

Give yourself more to do, you will have less time to be depressed. Don’t lessen the value of hardwork, as that spreads your depression on to others. This may not make a lot of sense, but it was in my head.

 

Look To The Other Side

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

How many times have you acted without thinking about anyone but yourself? Be honest with yourself. People act without thought several times everyday. This is not meaning to disrespect anyone, or to make anyone feel guilty. It is just trying to get people to acknowledge that we are all selfish, more frequently that we’d dare to admit.

I was watching this new programme tonight called Prisioners’ Wives, created by the BBC, focusing on women whose spouses had been locked up. The episode centres around Gemma, a young twentysomething who is happily married and 6 months pregnant. It falls apart when her husband, Steve, is arrested for murder and Gemma’s life is placed into turmoil. To the the police who speak to her like a criminal, to her work where she may lose her job, everything quickly becomes a mess. It focuses on what the criminal leaves  behind.

Now whilst, it may seem that I am refering to the criminal, not thinking about his wife when he commits crimes, but I am mostly thinking of other people. You can feel the nerves as Gemma feels people judging her on what her husband has done. And it is realising that you will NEVER know what a person is like 100%, and doing so shakes the very foundations of everything you believe in.

It’s the fact that people automatically tag you as ‘bad’, despite never doing anything illegal, and being as innocent as any victim. But yet, people outside judge a person as good or bad dependant on circumstances thrown at them, which is none of their doing. It should be the dury that judges a person, not the press or public. But yet, the innocent family of a criminal, gets subjected to public scrutiny and the ruthless press, who all need to quench their thirst on breaking stories, no matter who it hurts.

It is easy to say that you would never treat a person with us much contempt as what any prisioner’s wife may experience, but it doesn’t need to be that severe. It could be an old woman that you push pass to get on the bus, that ruins her day. It could be the kid who is called fat, when he is trying to exercise. It is the person you said you’d help, but forgot about the next day. Everyone is guilty of hurting others, no matter how accidental it is.

All that is needed is thought. Think about how you would want to be treated, if you found yourself in the shoes of anyone you deal with. Would you want to be shouted at over the phone, as you try to help a customer? Would you want to be shoved aside, when you are struggling to walk as it is? Would you like to be picked out for every insecurity you have? It happens every day, to every person. If you took a second, and treated people with a bit more kindness, you will make a difference. And that difference will come back to you, as good-will is contagious.

You Get What You Pay For

~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

Whether it is reading Facebook updates or talking to people face to face, there seems to be a lot of people complaining about the situation that they find themselves in. As if pointing the finger to something else, makes it easier to deal with where they are now, and that they don’t find it satisfactory. Is pitting on the blame on someone else, really making a difference?

I’d say no. It is like avoiding the thing altogether. Pushing the blame of your current life may make you feel better about the situation, but it makes no difference to the actual place you find yourself. To change things, you can’t hedge your bets that someone will pluck you from your mundane workplace and make your dreams a reality. Because, be honest, that will never happen. Only one person can make your dreams come true, and it’s you.

So I’d advise on taking accountability on where you are, and start dealing with things. If you are not happy about your job, for example, find out why your not happy and change it. Don’t expect everyone around you to know you are unhappy, if you are not willing to voice it. People are not always as intuitive as we would like, so give them a hand.

If it is your workplace itself that is the problem, then search for something else. Or even find something that makes you happy, outside work. Sometimes we can be over stressed at work and it purely is because our only focus is on work. Whilst that is needed sometimes, when your life revolves around work, and work isn’t satisfying, it can be pretty damn depressing. So give yourself something to smile about, whether it’s getting a new hobby, or giving yourself ‘me’ time, it will help you feel better about yourself.

If you don’t make an effort to make your life better, it won’t be. You could end up stuck, and pointing blame elsewhere isn’t going to fix it. Be your own hero. Live for today, and make it your best.

Countdown to the Weekend?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you it’s Friday. It is the end of the normal working week, and a chance for a few days of relaxation. Except, is there such a think as a normal working week, anymore. I know that my shift I work now is ‘unsociable’ hours, and my new one is better, but still not Monday to Friday.

A large number of the general public work unusual hours, or hours which don’t follow the standard working week. As a working person, you are now expected to have flexibility with hours, and be able to work over the weekends. This is because the lifestyle of the average person has changed to being pretty non-stop. Partially this is because people are working more, there has to be more to accomodate these people, as they still need to be able to pay bills and do shopping. The more businesses start to operate during unusual hours, the more other businesses will follow suite.

And that can make it difficult if you are looking for employment, and aren’t aware of those facts. It can lead to people lowering their employability, without being aware of it. If you are not flexible, then it can lead to an opportunity passing you by. Which in this current climate, is not something any person can afford. I guess, people need to find out what is important in their lives.  And if finding work is your goal, you may have to make a few sacrifices.