The Queensferry Crossing is due to open by September 2017.
The Forth Rail Bridge opened in March 1890.
Sometimes it is crazy to see how far engineering has come. And it has been great to see this new bridge take shape.
When complete, the Firth of Forth will be a rare sight of 3 different style bridges all built in 3 different centuries all side-by-side. It’s pretty cool.
I get sore. Nothing really serious, but bad enough that it such an annoyance. I get sore bits, usually joints that get a bit stressy, and decide to swell up, just to punish me for thinking I could do something. Sounds a little bit melodramatic, but it is true.
For example, when I spend my first day at work for the week, I end up with a swollen, hard to walk on, ankle. It has always been some kind of issue, but I kind of made it worse. On my first day as a permanent associate at my work, just over 3 years ago, I fell down the stairs and landed really bad on my ankle. I had to go to the hospital, and had to take a week off to ‘rest’. Yes, I know, bet my work was glad they decided to keep me around, getting injured to celebrate a permanent job. But since then, my ankle has become weak. The doctor I spoke to at the time, said that I had seriously sprained the tendon up the back of my ankle, and that it would normally take between 9 months and a year to heal. That is if I worked an office job, sitting on my rear all day. I don’t. I work in a warehouse, where I am on my feet for 10 hours a shift. So… ankle probably never got the chance to heal. And now, I can sprain it really easy, and that first day back at work, as mentioned above, I end up hobbling about like an OAP.
It is frustrating, but not anything that I haven’t had before. When I worked in a shop, not long after I finished High School, I had a lot of pain in my hands and arms. The doctor, that time, felt it looked like tendonitis. Something which can be caused by ‘over use’, that causes the swelling in pain. I was given pain killers, and after some time off work, I just got on with things. When I was even younger I would have issues too, like when taking the family dog for a walk, she would pull at her lead (especially when she saw another dog) and I would have to hold on tight not to lose her. After the walk was done, I always felt a slight ache in my hand.
It is probably the wrong avenue to take, but I have always just got on with it. Tonight I have a sore left shoulder and a sore right ankle, and I have no idea how I am going to get any sleep tonight. It has become something that is an annoyance to me, something that I take a wee bit Ibuprofen the days its really sore, and just soldier on through the rest. Some days are worse than others. But I can deal. Which comes with another annoying thought. How can I put up with the physical pain, when I crumble at times with the mental pain I suffer?
It is just proof that not all pain is equal. The pain I get in after a day at work, is nothing compared to the utter hopelessness I can feel when I wake up in the morning. But in this world, physical pain is always the thing to be cured, mental pain is often ignored. And that is sad.
How annoying is normal TV? You have to work with a schedule which usually only allows you to watch one episode, once a week. There are very few programmes where I have the patience to do that with. The last show on TV that I actually watched with the schedules was Death In Paradise. Which is a bit like Midsummer Murders, on a Caribbean Island. It is something that I could easily watch after a day at work, something that would normally be dubbed as ‘Sunday Night TV’. But that is about it.
If I don’t watch the scheduled TV, then what do I watch? Mostly a mixture of things from Youtube, Netflix or Crunchyroll. I like watching stuff this way, because I can watch content that I like, that I find engaging. Which is a good thing, it is important to fill your time up with things that you find interesting. And there is usually enough content which could keep you entertained for hours. Just one episode after another.
The problem is, most of the animes on Crunchyroll, or vlogs on Youtube are short. At the most they are only 20 minutes long, which is a nice manageable size for a programme. It also means, it is very easy to watch through multiple episodes. Whereas, long programmes, like one on Netflix, can last about an hour. Now because the storyline is stretched out to cover that amount of time, it might not be as fast paced as the shorter programmes. This has lead me to have a bit of an attention problem with shows that have longer running times. I can maybe make it through a couple episodes, but then that’s it.Whereas I can watch anime for hours, like I re-watched Naruto and managed all 220 episodes in under a week.
When speaking to people, I understand that less and less people are watching what is scheduled on the standard channels. People now have the ability to watch what they want, and they are utilising that ability. It just makes me wonder, how much power do the TV networks actually have, now their audience share is going to other places to get content. It was bad enough when satelite TV came into play, with all these different channels. Like for years in the UK, we had 4 basic channels, and then it increased to 5, and with the digital switchover, every home had access to more and more channels. Which means the audience is split between all these channels, and that is not including the audience that streams their content online. Obviously this means that the networks (other than the BBC), make less money, so I would like to know how stuff is going to change. Are we actually going to see a bigger variety of programming?? Hopefully so.
After weeks of problems, I finally have fixed my computer. Had to delete a lot of crap, and run so many updates, but it is working now.
Finally I can use it for writing again. As much as I love using my phone, I don’t think it is a good thing to be typing a lot on it. It is a bit small. It’s not the nicest thing on my hands, so that’s why I still have a computer. I do prefer a tactile keyboard for writing on, you get no real feedback. But, each to their own.
Progress is progress.
Posts have been on and off since the start of March. And despite feeling useless when it comes to writing anything at all, I have tried to plod along. Which is fine, but me being me, it is still highly frustrating. I know that I can create more stuff, but it is difficult.
There is a difficult balance, trying to not allow creativity to become a burden, and also continuing to push myself to do more. There is always that fear, that you can put too much pressure on yourself, and that can end up becoming more of a hindrance rather than a help. So, I am trying to push myself to do more, but try not to think too critically if it doesn’t happen. Which is hard.
At the end of the day, writing is a hobby that I have, that is very freeing to me. It allows me either clear my mind or focus on one topic, depending on what I write. But both these things, do help me feel better. And that is what I love about creativity. It allows your mind a break from whatever normally stresses you out. Which is something that all people need. A break. Life, no matter how mundane it may appear, has the ability to stress people out. And it is only through constant learning, and self-improvement, that we are able to experience less stress. It is a lot of hard work, but it is worth it.
The best way to get back on track, is to make the best of the opportunities where I do feel creative. I need to really start utilizing the ‘schedule posts’ features. So I can have posts ready to go. But that is all preparation. A general thing that I need to get better at. I am usually far too lazy. One thing at a time though. slow progress is better than no progress.
I have always been one of these people who have two effort levels. Either I obsessively do it, or I just can’t be bothered. This is mostly encouraged by how well I do at something. If I put effort in, and things go well, I will push and push towards a goal. All good. If I put that same effort and fail, I find it really hard to put any more effort into it.
I know that what I am saying isn’t that uncommon. In fact, most people probably have the same issues. If is something that happens in life, and people just have to accept it. But the problem is, that if I don’t try again at something, my brain builds this thing up. Something that is probably of no real concern to anyone, can start to cause me to panic. It is horrible.
When I was at school, I remember that I had two extremes whenever I sat a test. I would either smash it, or I would completely bomb. If I was going to make a mistake, I wouldn’t just make one, I’d make ten. And that is something that has continued with me as I go on. I think that a big part is paranoia and lack of confidence. Like, if I think i am doing well, it is all fine. But if I find out I did one thing wrong, i fuck up everything.
It’s hard. I can get so flustered over making silly mistakes. I get upset, because I feel so stupid. I get it in my head that I shouldn’t be making such silly mistakes, I should know better. And I feel worse, and then make more mistakes because I am too busy scolding myself.
The thing no one ever teaches you at school, college or any work place, is how to give yourself a break. It is a foreign concept. But not everyone thrives on constant pressure.
This is quite a relevant prompt today. I have fallen off a lot of bandwagons recently, with my productivity going from ‘quite good’ to ‘non-existent’. I struggled to do everything, from going to the gym, to progressing through my to-read pile. I felt a little bit useless for a few weeks there, and it is horrible. I was at the stage of failing to see the point in doing anything, which is not a really nice place to be.
I am at the stage now, where I am feeling a bit more energetic, wanting to climb back on that horse again, but I am nervous. It takes a lot of effort and work to get your energy levels back, after a period of self-doubt. Because a lot of my problems are brought on by anxiety, I find myself jumping to the worse possible conclusion when it comes to trying to do anything. I find myself a lot less anxious, when I am doing things based on habits. But, habits have to be formed, so I will always have a brick wall to navigate past, no matter what I do.
It is frustrating. I have been reading a lot about positive energy, and that by changing your mindset, you can do a lot more than you normally would. Use the nerves as a positive thing, as a thing to conquer. Something that you can defeat. So many people in this word use nervous energy as something that drives them, musicians, writers, politcians. But, it doesn’t have to be a particular career that can benefit from using nerves, anyone can do it. So rather than falling silent to the thoughts running through your mind, use them to push you forward. As said above, that is all about forming new habits, something that is quite hard to do.
Remember, if it goes a bit askew one day, one week, or even a whole month, today is a new day, so try and make it better than before. Which is easier said than done. Try today, and if it doesn’t work, try again tomorrow. Every day is a new opportunity. Just don’t let the nerves win.
That’s us hit March already, and I’m kind of stuck between wishing my time away and wanting things to slow down. There is no happy medium, and as I get older I find myself standing still as the world flies by.
3 months into the year, those aspirations made in January may have fallen flat. Some of mines have kind of. I am very good at focusing on what has already happened, mostly the bad bits. The bits where I have failed and things haven’t gone to plan. These are the things I seem to automatically focus on, and then I don’t have the energy to try again. Because, what is the point, if nothing really changes?
I have been spending a lot of time trying to change that. Because what happens in the past can’t be changed, all you can change is what is in your future. Which is probably really cheesy, but it is true. There is no harm in looking back at what you have done before, but if it affects what is coming then maybe you are looking too close.
I deal better with things when I have a ‘clean slate’ to work with. That moment when you close the door on what has happened, and start again. I try to get deal with every day as it comes, forget what has happened before, as nought can be done about it. However, this all depends on how I am mentally, because if I am suffering under depression, i am very likely to be so optimistic.
It’s also learning, that is okay. Not every day is going to be the best day ever, it’s not possible. Life is a serious of ups and downs, and learning how to deal with it. But today is as good a day as any to start positive changes
I am one of those people who can take or leave a Netflix binge. I like watching one or two episodes, but normally, any more than that and my attention starts to fade. So I thought I’d make a list of what I have been watching recently.
The Big Bang Theory – This program is repeated a lot on TV here in the U.K., but it is always the same episodes that I seem to catch. So it’s nice to flit back to the start, and have it on whilst doing housework.
Pretty Little Liars – I love this show, and I found it through Netflix. Alison DiLaurentis goes missing, suspected dead, and her friends are pulled into a mess. Some mystery, and a whole lot of drama.
Gary Tank Commander – Gary McLintoch is a Tank Commander in the British Army, in this funny comedy from BBC Scotland. Gary and his pals mess around, and seemingly make a mess of everything. I mean, a program that tries to reference cheesy pasta whilst talking about the war in Iraq is worthy of a look.
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air– The role that brought Will Smith to the world. This program was something I watched nightly on BBC 2 after my dinner, it was shown after The Simpsons. The program is still really funny. Will is a teenager sent from Philadelphia to live with his uncle in the posh Bel-Air, and the comedy that comes from him being completely mis-matched with his new surroundings. A bit of 90s nostalgia is good for you.
The Gilmore Girls– another nostalgic turn. The story of the life and loves of Lorelai Gilmore, and her daughter Rory. The story starts with Lorelai getting Rory into a private school, so that she can achieve her dream of attending Harvard. The series was revived this year by Netflix, and continued where the original series left off. It’s a nice easy watch, and I suggest anyone to check into Stars Hollow.
It’s not very many, but as I said before, I am not a ‘watch a series in a day’ kind of girl. I am more, watch a few episodes and forget for a month. So I am ALWAYS behind.
Sometimes I wonder how differently people see the world. I don’t mean what they actually are looking at, but what is their focal point?
For example, the picture below, is a photo I took today. A rainy day in Dunfermline. Now, my focus was the town clock, which is where the town centre is located. It is a building that stands out in the centre of Dunfermline. But, whilst my intention was to focus on the City Chambers and it’s big clock, the first thing that everyone else sees are the ‘To Let’ signs that hang outside the empty shops.
It is pretty strange when you start thinking about people’s individual perception on things. When I was younger, I thought what I thought, and anything else was simply wrong. But, that’s not right. People perceive things differently, and come up with their own conclusions.
I find that kind of beautiful really. That everyone perceives everything slightly differently. They have their own thoughts and feelings that could impact any choice they make. It all depends on how they view things.
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