Round And Round

I am finding life rather monotonous right now. I know, that not every day can be super exciting and fun, but it is routine that I find boring. It sounds daft, but day-to-day life can get boring. And it is frustrating.

Why?

Well, routine bores me, but it also calms down my anxiety. Which leaves me with a bit of a conundrum. If I try to leave too much to luck, and ‘wing it’, normally something will end up causing me to panic. But I get bored when everything gets stuck on the same routine. It gets to the point, where I feel like I am running in automatic pilot.

It is fear of the unknown that normally gets under my skin. I get nervous when things just ‘happen’, because I don’t know how my brain is going to react. Sometimes, I completely over-react, and start panicking because my brain is focused on the worst possible outcome. But half the time, I am fine, there is no adverse reaction, and I can just roll with whatever is going on. And I because I don’t know what way things are going to go, a lot of the time I just stick to my routine, and stay away from any risk. Which is a good idea, in one sense, but it can also be suffocating.

It comes down to balance. But, how do you find that balance?

via Daily Prompt: Wheel

5 comments

  1. I know exactly what’s you mean. While I’m​ comfortable with routine and I know what to expect, so nothing gives me any panic attacks, it’s also very, very dull, and I drive myself crazy with the dullnes and lack of excitement in my life. πŸ™„

  2. It’s hard to be so open and honest but that’s when you make the best stuff. funnel all these feelings into your craft and the results will be worth while! can’t wait to read more from you

    • Thank you for your kind comment. I am trying to deal with things better, and the biggest thing is not giving up. πŸ™‚

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