Still Here

I feel I should appologise. The last few posts on here have been really negative. Mostly because I seem to suffer mental health issues in waves, and sometimes it’s like the tide keeps coming in till I am drowning. And at the last possible moment, where I can feel myself suffocating, I take a last gasp, and the waters slowly go away. Slowly. Sometimes the tide come right back in again, but sometimes it goes right away and I can stand on my own two feet again.

But, clumsy metaphors aside, I have been plowing on. Not that there is anything else that you can do really. But, I am getting there. Every time I feel like I have a good grasp on things, a curve ball is thrown, and I am all over the shot again. It’s annoying, but the more it happens, as things develop, I guess you have to change how you deal with such issues as depression and anxiety. The good thing is, the more I have to adapt how I act when feeling low, the easier it gets. Okay, maybe ‘easier’ is not the right word, but I feel like I am able to cope a little better, which is always a good thing.

My new coping mechanism is trying to give myself a day to meltdown if I need it. A day without feeling the need to hold everything together. The last few Sunday’s have been spent by me staying home, having a cry and feeling generally crap about myself. At the time, I did feel really bad about wasting an entire day, but by Monday I was feeling like a huge weight has been lifted. So I didn’t have to feel bad about it, and that made me feel really good. And that having one day where I can be an emotional wreck, is a theraputic thing.

Feeling really motivated, so hopefully that continues. 🙂

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