Due to reasons I am not going to detail here, I was yesterday made unemployed.
Big whoop, right? Well, wrong, I have worked constantly since I was 16, and to be 28 with no job is rather frightening. In fact, it does not help the anxiety that I talked about in the last post. I have always had a set routine, whether it be work, college or school. So, I currently find myself, nervously, at a bit of a loss.
Upon advice, my goal is to keep myself motivated. Keep moving. First thing I did today, was apply for job seekers allowance. Something, that has a lot of stigma attached to it. Why? Possibly because there is this idea, that people who are not necessarily looking for a job are the ones who claim. Whilst I am certain some people do live in this stereotype, most claimants use it as help. And despite paying tax my whole working life, I feel embarrassed about claiming. Something that is because of the stigma mentioned above. I am hoping that this is just a short term thing, till I get a new job, but you can never tell. Job seeker’s allowance is there to help people live, and as much I wish things were different, they aren’t. I need a wee help, and I am grateful that I live in a country, where something there to help.
This sense of uncertainty over my future does also have me excited on something new. Sometimes doors do close, and it is a bit of a bummer, but the door of opportunity opens. It is up to a person whether they turn round and accept a new challenge, or whether they wallow in what they have lost. And, strangely, I feel like I can take on this new world, this scary world. This isn’t a holiday, so I don’t want to start thinking it is. I want to apply to multiple jobs every day. Send out my CV. Just work hard, that way, I may still feel a little bit valid. It’s hard thinking that I have no role, no purpose, and I think that’s the part that scares me most.