Due to me having the memory function of a 30 year old PC, I have not done half the stuff I have set out to do recently. I am spectacularly rubbish at keeping on top of my lists of things I need to do. Always have been, and I think I always will be.
What I do, is I write a list of things that I should really do, and then I ignore said list, and do something else completely irrelevant. It is almost as if I recognise I need to do something, that’s enough, and I won’t do anything else. I think it is a mixture of pure avoidance, and ‘out of sight, out of mind’. Which is awesome, especially when you are working on a schedule. Or supposed to be working on a schedule.
But once I acknowledge things, I do have the tendency to erase them completely from my mind, and never thing about it again. Or think about it when it is too late, and I have to run around like a nut-case to get it done. Because apparently, that is how I work best. Which is obviously lies, because no-one can work to their full potential, if they are rushed to finish. But ever since High School, I have tried to convince myself that I can leave things to the last moment, and I end up doing things badly. I think it has to do with the idea, that when I was younger, I was a high achiever, and did everything when I was told, I got no real reward for making that effort. So, as I became older, I began to try less, grades slipped, and I got no more or less recognition. And then that, mixed with laziness, left me following the same pattern time after time.
But, I have started to work on focusing on the task in hand, and not stopping till it’s complete. And it is working. I am being a lot more productive, and doing things properly. This doesn’t sound like much of a ‘eureka’ moment, but it is. When you seem to be in the midst of mediocrity, like any other learnt behavioural trait, it takes a lot of time and effort to change things. So rather than putting my list of activities to the side, I am tackling them, and getting things done. And I am finding, that I don’t forget as much as I used to.
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