Because I am in severe need from a distraction from my depressive state of mind. The whole ‘jump of a bridge’ scenario seems like an option in my current state.
Nice, bet you wanted to know that, oh reader. If there is a reader. *I am breaking the forth wall here.* I just feel mentally unable to cope with anything right now. -.-
Whilst I have been online, I haven’t been writing a lot, for the sheer sense, that I have been too down to write or say anything substantial. Well, I probably could have written something, but it would be day-after-day of complaining about my petty existence. And trust me, when I say that would not make very interesting reading. I have been complaining, but most of that is over on my Tumblr. Mostly because I can speak my mind, without feeling that people I know are judging me on it. Because that is all Facebook is these days. Blue and white pages of judgement and hatred, tied together with gimmicky games.
A bit severe on Facebook maybe, but right now it is how I feel. Most of you will probably read my negative opinion, and wonder why I don’t just delete my account. Mostly because it is good for contacting people who I don’t hold numbers for, and the like. But then I think, if that person really did give a shit about me, wouldn’t they go to more effort than a friend request?
I am on the fence about what to do with the site. Should I just leave it? I do good at speaking my mind, and am of the stance of when I post something I WILL NOT delete it. Maybe that is stubbornness. But if I cared enough to post something to begin with, even if my mood shifts, it wouldn’t be honest if I deleted it. And that is what any site should be, an honest interpretation on who you are.
And on that stance, I can’t really think negatively on people who do react to what I say in a bad way. Because they are also just stating what they think and feel. If they regret what they say, then fair enough, but at the time I said what I wanted to, and they said what they wanted to. And as far as that goes, I respect it. But they should also be adult enough to respect what other people say. If you want people to respect and listen to you, then do the same to others.
But that would be wishful thinking, wouldn’t it?