Today has been the least productive day in quite a while. I did nothing towards any course work. I just sat on the internet looking for gigs I can go to. Which would be great, if I was all up to date with everything, which I am not. Sometimes I think I am my own biggest hurdle, at times. I love college, and work, but what am I supposed to when I feel that every thing I churn out and is useless. I have been doing some soul searching reccently to try and find out what my problem is. But haven’t come up with anything yet.
I mean writers get writers’ block, so what do artistic people get? I suppose its just a mental block. But finding ‘it’ a name, doesn’t stop it. Other than lying around feeling sorry for myself, I am gonna try and be motivated. But I have this feeling, that this isn’t just a phase, and I am ‘plateau-ing’. I seem to think I am getting out of an inspirational ‘rut’, but then I just fall into another one.
I’m good if I’m doing things souly for myself. As I only work when I want to. But, alas, that doesn’t happen when you have 2 clients waiting and a growing mountain of college work. I mean, of all the times for my motivation to take a leave of absence, why on earth does it do it at the end of the year. Hand in dates next week, and I’m nowhere near completion.
I remember back in the day, when I thought that school was the hardest thing ever. Then I left school and entered the real world, a world where I attend college full time, have a 25 hour a week job and take on freelance work, and have no want to do any of it at the moment.
Actually, that rant reminds me, I need to contact the printers about getting more paper samples. Hopefully, they’ll get in touch this time.