Content Error

Adding personality and uniform to my online self is hard. I find I am struggling to keep things interesting. I am currently in a state where I have so much in my head that I want to say, but I always seem to be writing the same things constantly. Which, whilst being quite freeing to myself, it does end up that I post the same old grumblings day in and day out.

I love writing, I always have. But I am finding it harder and harder to keep up any momentum with interesting posts. Sure, I am great at moaning about my life (or lack of it), but I struggle in making things interesting for readers. I guess I have to start ‘feeling’ what I write again. I know that sounds strange, but I feel that I seem to have been really honest on here before, and the reaction kind of shocked me. The internet is full of people who give hate for no reason, and although it is easy to say that people should expect the worst, it doesn’t prepare for the hate that can be angled at you, for just posting your own thoughts.

And when I have received hate, it has shocked me, and kind of made me a little hesitant in posting so much. Which is sad. As mentioned I love blogging, and feel that it is a good way for me to talk through the issues in my mind. So I have just held back, and been posting a lot less than what I used to. This is something I regret letting happen, but it did. I am going to try and get back into things online, which means I need to start thinking up some interesting topics.

I am doing a ‘Sketch-a-day’ challenge, so I am going to try and post some of those pages, and see what happens.

Currently Listening to: Wicked- Defying Gravity

YouTube Weirdo

I am posting this, because of peoples reaction when I say I post videos on youtube.

And the reactions are mostly negative. Why? I have no idea!

I enjoy planning and making my videos. Its my only field of motivation right now. So yeah, I’m gonna keep right on making vidjeos, because it makes me happeh.

🙂

Question: Why do I blog?

This is a question I get asked a lot, so I thought I would answer it today.

I started a personal blog, almost 6 years ago, on livejournal. I was 20, and I think it was when I started struggling with depression. I was at uni, training to be a Veterinary Nurse, but I struggled with the pressure. I was away from my folks, and was also being to struggle with handling myself in situations. I was always very critical of myself, and it became worse. But the job, of being with animals, helped. I loved that I was helping another creature, and it made me feel better about myself. I failed my exams and it was so expensive, that I couldn’t afford to do it.

It was hard. I mean working with animals was all I wanted to do as a kid. So I started working in a local bakery, so that I had some money coming in. Which was hard, because my head was all over the place. But I used to blog, and at that time, there wasn’t really any professional blogs, from what I was aware. So it wasn’t trying to be famous, it was letting go of all my emotion, and at the time, it was semi-private. Also, rather than feeling like I am pushing things on my friends, I can get it all out of my system, without feeling like I am forcing someone to listen. I feel guilty for forcing my problems on others.

The only people who would read your blog, would be people who use the site, and used it for similar reasons. So nobody would judge you for what you wrote. Now, I think that people start blogs just to get fans. I still have my Livejournal blog, which is still updated regularly, then I have this blog, which although the content is slightly less whiney, than my LJ, it is still me expressing myself.

And, ultimately, that’s what a blog should always be. It should be expressing yourself, writing about thoughts and feelings. I write my blogs, because it is a big release. When I am writing a blog, I am so focused on the task in hand, and sometimes blogging is the only thing that holds my attention. I love it though, blogging has become a major part of what I do online.

Its nice. You visit my Facebook, you can find out the basics about me, but visit one of my blogs, you get to actually know me.

Sue the Vlogger Blogger

Howdy.

The world of Vlogs is an intresting one. One where you could lose hours of your life, just observing those around. Yes, youtube has destroyed whatever life I tried to have outside the interwebs. *d’oh* Basically, everyone knows I am addicted to blogging. Well vlogging is worse. I mean I make videos so that I can see the improvements, and because I really like talking about myself.

Obviously.

I find it hard telling people things face to face, so I write about it. And call me strange (no, in a minute not yet), buuutt it is a lot easier talking away to my camera, than it is a real person. (OK, now you can call me strange) I think its because when you tell someone something face-to-face, you have to see their reaction.  And if you post a video explaining something on youtube, you can kind of psyche yourself up before you see their comments. And I think thats why vlogs and sites like Youtube are so popular. And finding someone that understands you, also helps.

I find myself always on here or youtube, and I crave to see what people think. But that is kind of stupid, because I could just tell them whats on my mind, rather than stalking facebook to see  if anyone ‘likes’ my link to my new vlog. Oh well, its how I roll. I guess.

The good news is that I am on the market to get a deccent video editor,  other than windows Movie Maker, because it annoys me. Ideally I’d be using Adobe Premier Pro, because it is so easy to use. But, alas, I can’t afford it, so am stuck using the package which came with my computer.  Any suggestions, send them my way.

I’ll be so thankful, I may even create something in your honor.

Yep, I am in need of a decent video editor. Maybe its not that the software that is fail, so much as it is me.  Seeing that I have only ever made 1 other video, other than the stuff I have uploaded on my channel. Maybe it will get better.

*crosses fingers, clicks heels three times and wishes apon the brightest star that my videos get a lot better*