Tag: PMA

Feeling Forlorn?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Ok, not so much. I just really wanted to use the word ‘forlorn’. I don’t believe that word is used enough. For a word meaning sadness, it just sounds so impressive. *cough* Sorry, couldn’t think of a title, for what is, yet another, rambling blog of nothing. I use a blog, like a diary, so I expect to see the ups and downs of my journey through life, all documented on a web page. Or a few web pages. Actually, with the amount of blogs I run, I think it may be more than ‘a few web pages’.  Oh well.

I am feeling all motivated today. It coincides with time off work, and actually doing things, such as tidying up. I guess, when I do something with my day, I can’t help but feel more satisfied and motivated. Which is good, I think that it must be something psychological. I mean, if you feel down, the main advice is to pick yourself up and carry on. I think this may because once you start doing things, momentum gets you doing more. It is getting up and started which is hard.

I, think, that because I have done quite a lot today, for me. It has me scribbling down ideas for future projects. Optimism is a great feeling, and isn’t something I am used to. I tend to be more the-glass-is-half-empty, kind of girl, so when I do feel good, I have to document it. I have to talk about how great I feel, and the ideas I have, just because I feel I should spread my happiness.

So if you feel forlorn, power through it, and when you feel good SHOUT IT OUT!! *sings Hanson*

Working Hard or Hardly Working

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Stress.

It is the biggest pressure on so many people as they try to live their day to day life. It’s hard to reason why some people are more prone to stress than others. It is more, that the person is struggling to cope, rather than the actual work involved.

It is a feeling of being overwhelmed, and that can come at any stage of a day, and at any stage of life. I have suffered from stress, and to be honest, it seemed to effect me more when I wasn’t working. When I had time on my hands to have a bit of a think. I have a habit of over-analysing things, and I guess that’s what I did. I put pressure on myself, to the point that I felt I was suffocating, and that I was pretty worthless for not coping when everyone else can. It did lead me to the path of depression, and I became increasingly frustrated my life.

After much chatting to people in similar circumstances, I found I wasn’t alone. And it was the cliche that ‘everyone feels overwhelmed at some point’. I say cliche, because at the time, I felt that was all it was. I know, people try to help when the compare your life to someone else’s, as if to say ‘if they can do it, so can you’. But it ends up in a spiral of self doubt, because I feared, I was not as strong willed as that person in front of me. Which was basically me excusing myself for not trying. As if I was shrugging and saying ‘what’s the point’.

Whilst looking at others didn’t help, I took a small piece of advice I found in many self-help books and articles.

Do a little something every day, that makes you smile.

And as basic as it sounds, it helped. I would listen to music, take 5 minutes to sketch something, go for a walk, I’d try something that I knew I loved to do. It became something that I looked forward to, and it made every day that little more bearable. And because my brain was focusing on what ever ‘highlight’ I had planned for that day, it didn’t have the time to focus on shining a negative light on everything I did. I guess, it is just occupying your brain, because over thinking is a huge part of stress related illness. Or it was to me anyway.

Feel the positivity.

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Just had a decent day today, so I thought I’d spread some cheer.

Happiness is one of the most contagious things in the world. And it is also better for you and everything you do. If you are happier, you are more likely to achieve what you want to. I do think that is mostly because when your mood is better, you are more open to the world.

But everyone has a bad day. The best thing to do, if you have a bad day, is to soldier on. It will get better. You will find something that will make your day seem better, and that good feeling you get doing that something, will spread and effect the rest of your life. So don’t beat yourself up when you do have a bad time, just appreciate that the bad times are there so we can make the best of a really good day.

And if you feel happy, pass it on. That smile that you make as you type on your keyboard will show in how you express yourself, others can sense it, and it may make them happier too. So I have a great day, and I hope anyone reading has a good day too.

 

Stuck In My Head

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Usually when something irritates me, or I want to ‘talk it out’, I post a blog on it. It allows me the freedom to say what I need to say, and then people can comment on it. It seems really methodical to me. It’s like, ‘I say what I say, and you can say what you think about what I said’. It is one of the few outlets where a person can express things without interruption. And doing it on something like a blog, enables people to read through your varying opinions, and get a good idea of what you are like as a person.

However, what happens when you don’t know how to say what is on your mind? If everything you type up becomes just a ‘hash-bash’ collection of words and, ill thought out, phrases. That is something I have been going through at the moment. There is no slow down of the thought processes and opinions, I just don’t seem to be able to write things the way I intend to. Which is irritating.

Over time, I have learnt that the best way to deal with any creative block, is to ride it out. Is to keep to returning to what you are struggling with, and eventually you will get progress. This is what I am doing now. Everything I have written lately seemed so bad. I just haven’t been able to put what is in my head, into words. And when you lose that ability, it becomes almost a burden, even moreso when you use it as a method of expression. It is like someone has locked you in a room, and have given you the wrong key to get out.You start off, with so much hope, but you just stall to a stop, when it doesn’t work.

I suppose that is something that anyone experiences. It can happen with work, with school, with anything. You just hit some kind of mental brick wall, and you can’t get any further. I guess, the thing to remember is that every brick must fall, someday. So keep on trying, and you will get there. Just don’t get to disheartened.

Posi-day 4: I Have A Creep

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

There is a girl, who has sent me 8 stalker-style emails in the last few days. And for some odd reason, instead of panicking, I kinda just thought ‘why’.

Isn’t having a creep something that happens to famous people? Or at least someone who has at least some kind of following through the interwebs. I, obviously, have none of that, so I just became very confused. As much as I would like to be able to convince myself that I do have some kind of infamy, but I don’t think it would be in the kind of area that would warrant creep followship. In fact, does anything warrant creep followship. Probably not, it is rather unnerving.

I don’t want to think that people are looking at my internet output, and trying to read some deep meaning into it. Which is happening, by The Creep. I mean, I may occasionally talk in depth about something that means a lot to me, but most of the time I ramble about stuff even my own mother doesn’t care about. Which is a lot. There is a HUGE interest gap between me and my mother.

This girl is from Osaka, Japan. She does write pretty good English, and I don’t really thing she means to bewilder me so much. I think I am also iffy about the whole situation, because I am on EVERY social network going, so I don’t understand why someone would send emails instead. *shrugs* The whole ‘wish I could be your IRL BFF’, did freak me out, but I’m trying to be flattered by it instead. Like, think of the positive aspects, and not automatically jump to the negative.

In all seriousness, Kaimi is a lovely girl, and she is so so nice. I feel privileged to have you as my ‘creeper’. ❤

Posi-Day 3: Gladerday

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

The last 24 hours have seen me have to actually try with the positivity levels. And, for it being only a few days into this PMA thing, I feel like I coped quite well.

Last night I saw people being nasty about other people, and doing things they consider to be a waste of time. And it seemed like everyone I came into contact with was hell bent on moaning about something. Now, I am not against free-speech, and people should be able to express what they are feeling, so that their angst doesn’t built into something unhealthy. But, it seems people look on things in ways so they are focusing on the failures, rather than the whole ‘silver lining’ aspect.

When you are trying to force yourself away from such thinking, it is a moment when you want to bash your head with a wall, or something equally hard. It is frustrating. And I never realised how negative people were until I started trying to think another way, and I think people would be surprised.

Anyways, I tried to put out reasons why peoples gripes were good, and not as bad as they thought, but I don’t think I was listened to. But, along with PMA, I am trying to not become overly involved with things I can directly do anything about. So I have been saying my part, and then backing away without getting to involved.

So far its working ok, but I have to keep on catching myself before I do say anything bad. It’s a lot of effort, which is why I don’t think most people just don’t bother changing their attitude at all.

Posi-Day 2: Friday Feeling

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Still working on this positivity thing.
So I have been up, and trying to keep myself motivated, with this tidying malarkey. It is something that I find farely hard to keep motivated and positive about. I hate housework with a passion, and just end up losing my temper with the whole thing.

But, doing the ol’ ‘take a deep breath’ routine, and trying to keep on going.
It is working.
But it is a very slow process.

But anyway, it is certainly more fun when you do look on the positive. 🙂 I am in a better mood with everything, even going to work, I am not to bothered about going in. I am going in with the idea that I am there to help people, and that is what I’ll do, rather than thinking about being in a stuffy call centre on a Friday night. So, although it doesn’t sound like much, it does make a HUGE difference.

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

Winston Churchill

Posi-Day 1–Caffine Overload

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

So.
New thing, inspired by the wonderful people I spend my life talking to, and to my work who is ‘pushing the positive’ at the moment. I am giving it a solid attempt to wipe the negativity out of my life. I am aware it may sound a little lame, but it is proven that if you look on the positive side of life, then you will find more positive things will happen to you.

So, I am trying to see if that works.
Now, right now, due to a severe lack of sleep and too much coffee, it is very easy to be positive. In fact, I am bouncing of the walls with hyperness. Whilst I know I am not the best at achieving things, I am trying to set myself small tasks, which will ultimately lead up to a bigger goal. So that will also see more positives, as I am more likely to achieve these small tasks, and that makes me happier.

And also, I am trying to focus on what is in front of me, and not what I know is happening elsewhere. Whilst I know this seems selfish, but I have always spent way too much of my time worrying about things I can do nothing about. So by worrying about things I can change, I am hoping that I will be moved to change things.

An example about small change, is my weight. I usually get depressed, because I have always had the physique of a sack of potatoes. But, what I am trying to do, is rather than focus on that, do little things, such as walking to work everyday, and focus on how good that makes me feel, rather the fact that I can’t drop a few pounds. The hope is, that if I can get myself feeling positive about exercise, I will actually have an urge to go out for a run or something. Again, it’s going to take time to see if that works.