*A morning walk
*iPod on shuffle
*Packed lunches
*Soaks in the bath
*Coffee and catch-ups with friends
*Smelling freshly cut grass
*Laughing at bad jokes
*Getting into a new book
*Getting into a new TV show
*Being caught up with emails
*Having a lie in
*Drawing a picture
*Taking photos
Tag: love
Love What You Have
The last week has lead to people looking around in shock after the terrible events in Connecticut. There is very little that people feel like they can do. All they can do is try to think about how they’d feel. You look at your family and friends, and feel at a loss at what you would do if you were caught up in a bad situation like that.
My cat, Billy, (pictured above) is a suck-up of a lil’ kitty. Well, he is when he wants something. But when I feel a bit low, he comes up for a cuddle, and pesters me. It’s cute. He helps me feel a little valued. When lost or confused about something, a lot of people turn to their pets.
I think that when we such despicable acts of evil, the love that we see in our pets can be comforting. With fresh food every day and a scratch on the belly, a cat or dog will be your best friend. And being able to see that there is good in the world, could help people make sense of the hatred and despair they see.
This is the nonsensical way I think about things. Well, it makes sense to me.
Universally Speaking
I was sitting thinking, the other day about the blog post I did a few days ago, where I was talking about relationships. And despite me being rather cynical about love, you can’t deny that it is something that bypasses language and other barriers. Gestures of love and kindness are something that is not restricted to the English language. And that, is rather romantic in itself, thinking that love rises above the barriers our modern world has created.
So, even if we go more primal, and think about the concept of finding a mate. This is something which goes beyond humankind, a great variety of creatures mate for life. Wolves, coyotes, beavers, Golden Eagles and Ospreys are just a few creatures which mate for life. This isn’t them living together and playing happy families, a lot of the time it is just that they are programmed to be social with the opposite sex, and assist in the raising of young. It is mechanical, something which is where a persons need to be in a relationship comes from. It’s the biological urge to have a place where you have a family of people around you, as a network of support, because ultimately that is why animals like Wolves live in packs.
The network that people have has changed over the centuries. No longer are people together simply as mates, and build a network around their mate. They have networks of colleagues, of friends, of people other than the traditional parents, and various family members. So, as our world takes more steps away from nature, so do our network of relationships. So rather than the basic, man meets woman, they have sex, have children, that’s their lives, people have jobs, ambitions and are not so focused on finding a partner. Especially when you see that it used to be that girls where paired with a suitor by the time they were 16.
I guess amidst all my rambling, what I am trying to say is that the human race isn’t unique in having urges to show fondness towards others. A lot of our behaviour comes from our past as more basic creatures, it’s just third party causes, such as money and technology, has distorted what should be the most natural thing that a person should experience.
You can’t talk about love, without your mind going to the polar opposite, which is hate. Hate, in most aspects is thought of as ‘revenge’. Why? Well, again it comes down to the basic families and networks that people have created over time, be it religion, work, or anything. If anything threatens our network, people resort to their primal instinct of trying to defend it. Which then brings intolerance, as people get overly sensitive, and well…you get a whole of bother.
But, fights and duels happen all the time in the wild, as creatures try to protect what is theres’. It’s just the ‘more sophisticated’ humans, use guns and destroy everything, to the point it becomes mindless. But it all stems from urges and behaviours that are built-in to our nature, something that makes us no different from any other person, or any other creature on earth.
Relationship Status?
Has always been the one thing, whether asked on a form or by person in front of me, which irritates me. Why would such a simple topic irritate me? Well, because I feel it puts this mass importance on whether you are in a relationship or not. Why is there so many terms for those who have found a partner, and those without are dubbed ‘Singletons’.
The land of the Singleton is supposed to be an empty, lonely one, where the poor person (almost labelled as a victim) cries themselves to sleep everynight because they are so alone. Now, there may be some people like that, but I assure you that most people who are single tend to focus on something else in their life. They don’t focus on relationships, because why focus all your attention on something that isn’t there? There’s no point, as it will just drive one crazy.
And the ‘dispair’ that a lot of single people feel, come from the fact that those around them seem to openly seem to show off that they have managed to keep their talons locked into someone for long enough, they are now considered as their partner. They talk about the dinner dates, the flowers, the movie nights on the couch…the list is endless. But I am sure most people reading this will see some kind of familiarity with the situations.
I’m not saying that people shouldn’t be happy, just don’t being vomit inducing. And there is something really sweet about knowing someone so well, as a friend, that the relationship goes to another level, and you understand each other completely. But a lot of the people I know in relationships spend their days moaning about how their other half is terrible. Why, if love is such a beautiful thing, do so many people seem to mourn it? Because, that’s what it appears to be. Being sad because the person they choose to be with, doesn’t have all the qualities they want in a lover.
There is a solution to these, sometimes unreachable, goals that people set for their partner to achieve. The truth is, you can never expect anyone to try and live to what you thing is ideal. A good thing to do, is to think of all the qualities you like in a partner, and write them down. That list of ‘wants’ is what you need to achieve yourself. People pick out qualities they find desirable, mostly because it is a type of envy, that this person holds a quality you don’t. So, if you take those qualities out of the equation, it becomes easier to get along with people. It’s almost like moving the unreachable goalposts closer, so that it becomes easier for people to meet your expectations.
But getting two people to co-habit with each other is hard. No-one is 100% compatible, so a little give and take is necessary.
*shrugs*
But what do I know. I barely remember my last relationship.
What’s in an impression of someone?
I had a discussion online today, about people and how they react to someone they don’t know.
We are taught from a young age, that first impressions count. But how tainted is your ‘first impression’ if someone imposes their judgement on you. For instance, Paris Hilton. I have had many chats with fellow Good Charlotte fans about Paris, and a lot of people think she is a stupid bimbo. But where do they get this idea from? I mean, they have never met nor even talked to the girl, but yet some will say they hate her.
Hate. Is that not a bit severe to describe someone you actually know nothing about. They get these impressions from tabloids and the 24 rolling ‘celebrity’ news. These are preconceived ideas about people, which are created to sell the idea of fame as if it were some product that could be picked up from the supermarket. So the hate people feel, is not for Paris, herself, because they no nothing of her true personality, and her behaviours, they hate the Paris which appeared in The Simple Life, and still is in endless tabloids.
But, if hating someone blindly is wrong, so is loving someone surely. I mean love and hate are such extreme emotions, that you can’t feel them for someone we have never met. Is it maybe that we live in a society filled with extremes, that we can only describe things in extremes? Its like the whole obsessing over things ( which I am prone to) where a band, you maybe have never seen in real life becomes a main object of interest and your life works round your obsession. Love is a word, not that much different from hate, but you can openly love something, but hate is like a swear word. How is that fair?
So your childhood lessons of passing judgement is rendered useless by the input of other sources. How does this effect our judgement? It obviously does, because our enviroment is so busy, we can’t help but take in almost everything we see. And the way our brain works, is that it absorbs everything we read or hear. And what you absorb, effects how you make judgements about what you see.
So, I think that it’s the enviroment that you put yourself into, which decides how you judge others. As a child I used to be very judgemental, but as soon as people started judging me (e.g- was beaten up for ‘being a Goth’ for wearing a Green Day shirt), it effected how I thought about others. And I now, pretty much live by treating others how I want to be treated. And by that, I mean I make a conscious effort not to judge someone untill I have met them. It has led to me making more clear assessments on people, and in turn has made me happier for it.
*******
And nonsensical ranting over. This is something that has been getting on my nerves lately.
Oh, well
Been spending the last 3 hours staring at this damn computer, wanting to get work done for tomorrow, but on my 4th week back, I have reached another mental block. Which is irritating as hell.
I am trying to make sure I have all my pieces for Laura’s multimedia class tomorrow, but my brain isn’t co-operating. I don’t know if that by taking a break in Aberdeen, I have been left more tired and exhausted. Well I have decided, I am going to blether a bit of rubbish, stick everything in my book, then make the book better, by writing and drawing a few bits on it. I don’t know how much I’ll get done, but we’ll see.
This weekend in Aberdeen was fab, but I saw two of my closest friends, strong women, who were upset over men. I just hate it how people are so selfish to not think of another person, and lead them on, or pretend to care about them. Its the pressure, I mean one relationship ends, then we have that self doubt telling us we will be alone forever.
Its not that thought of being alone, I want to know where the idea came from that being alone is such a bad thing? Its nature for people feeling the want to be around others, but I’m sick of people thinking there is something wrong with me for being single for over a year and a half. I mean at the end of the day, we are born alone, we die alone. No matter what happens in the middle, the unevitable things in life we do alone-birth and death.
Damn, thats awful morbid for a Monday!
sueriot.com 