Tag: lost

I Doubt It

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

For me, every New Year starts off with me aiming to be nicer to myself. Try to be kinder to myself, no matter what is going on around me. Because if you are more forgiving towards yourself, things become a lot easier to solve. Or, so I have read, anyway. And, I always try to be positive, a bit ‘shit happens to everyone’, kind of attitude. Think less PMA, and more not hating myself over every silly little thing.

First real obstacle is that I lost my house keys a few days ago. Have spent the last few days looking everywhere for them. They are very noticeable, as they have a bell on a keyring. This is because I like large bags, which means the house keys fall to the bottom of said bag. So if I have a bell, it helps me find them easier. Except, when they are nowhere to be found. I have searched everywhere I had been the last day I had my keys. The house, the garden, put a message on Facebook, sent a email to Stagecoach, in case I left them on the bus. Nothing has been found.

This is where I get like ‘how stupid am I to lose something as important as keys’. I get really angry with myself, because I should know better. In the last few days, I have had multiple panic attacks over being so bloody stupid. I have been struggling to sleep over it, because I feel like I can’t even do the most basic thing. I have had a look around the house again this evening, and it’s lead to me having another panic attack, and then sitting on the floor and crying.

Hopefully, if I can write things down, the rational thoughts will stay behind. Probably not. I’ll just end up grumpy and irritable. Which is what always happens. Hooray for crappy mental health. It’s exhausting.

28 Things I Imagined I’d Done By The Age Of 28 (but haven’t)

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

1. Have a relationship, where me and my partner are so connected, we are best friends.

2. Be employed as a Vet.

3. Be an artist on the side, because I want to, not for money.

4. I’d be trying to get my first novel published.

5. I’d be a YouTube partner, and vlog regularly to an audience who I really connect with.

6. I’d have my own house, with a garden.

7. The garden would have a vegetable patch, where I’d farm my own food.

8. I’d have a car, so I could go where I want.

9. Have loads of money, like every adult does.

10. Invite my best friends round every weekend where we drink and watch crap movies.

11. I’d have my own dog.

12. I’d be living in Glasgow.

13. All my favourite bands would know my name.

14. Have gotten past the stage where I massively obsess over a person I’ve never met.

15. I’d host dinner parties where I pretend I had cooked the food, but I had ordered takeaway.

16. The rollercoaster emotions would be left in my teenage years, and I’m always happy.

17. I be a size 10 and addicted to the gym.

18. I would get past relying on others opinions of me so much.

19. I’d have stopped watching Cartoon Network.

20. I’d no long buy My Little Pony toys.

21. I’d have so many friends constantly texting me, because nice people get friends.

22. I would be a great worker, and the best at what I do.

23. I’d have displayed work at a gallery, and sold it for charity, for the PDSA.

24. I’d have used my first aid training to save a life.

25. I could do whatever I want.

26. I’d like more grown up things, like shopping and knitting, rather than Mario Kart and Disney movies.

27. I would be glad I was an adult and wouldn’t pine for my teenage days.

28. I would be successful.

Funding

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

After a discussion with a friend at 4am this morning, via Skype, it has become apparent that I need a good idea for helping me get out of the monetary rut that I seem to be permanently stuck in.

Obviously, the easiest solution is to get more money, but what is the best way to do that? I have already tried to find a second job, something that is difficult, seeing as a lot of people have difficulty finding just one job in the times we live in. *sigh*And I have been doing design work, but as I touched on yesterday, people want things for free and are unwilling to pay.

So…after much thought, I decided to look in what is doing well. And, the solitary success of recent times, is this very blog. Which, at the moment is happily averaging at 40 views a day, without me posting anything. So, thank you people who are reading, as it seems there is a few of you. But, as with any site that goes well, advertising comes along, and becomes part of things.

I have two choices, the first is to ‘monetize’ with Google. Where they will place appropriate adverts on my site, and clicking on their adverts, makes me some money. The other, is to ask for advertisers myself. Ask people if they would like to be associated with this blog for a small, undecided, fee. This would be more cost-effective to myself, as everything would be created by me, so there would be no middle-man to pay.

I am sceptical about it all, to be brutally honest. I never started blogging to make money and make it a job. But, it has just come round that my financial situation may require me to do this. *sigh* I’m stuck, I guess.

I have talked to people who run other blogs, and they say that the page views are high enough for advertising to be a good idea. I guess I am afraid that by making me use the blog for profit, that I will lose my passion for it. Beh!

The good thing, is that I have been blogging for so long, that I know that I will update regular, and have done on here for the last 2 years. I think, I am going to have a think about things before I make any more changes.

If anyone wants to add their two cents or even email any queries about possible advertising or anything email me at suewantsaRIOT@gmail.com or simply comment below.