Tag: life

Time To Relax (DD #1)

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Decided to try a new thing today, inspired by viewing art on both Tumblr and Instagram. I have bought a new sketchbook, and am going to try and draw a new thing every day, and I thought it would be handy to post it here. Particularly because this is supposed to be a creative blog, so maybe it would be a good idea.

So here is my first sketch:

First Daily Draw image
First Daily Draw image

Because I have been so relaxed the last few days, I felt it would be relevant to doodle something about that. So it is supposed to be a couch, which is what I relax on every day when I finish my work, or I just want to watch some TV with the family. A couch is comfortable and always makes me think of relaxation when I see one.

Everyone needs to have times where they can relax a little, and most people need reminding to do that sometimes. And that is why we have couches in our homes. It means you can just sit in comfort, and forget your stresses, whatever they may be. If I want to chill with my family, I sit on the couch downstairs, and if I want some alone time, I sit on my bed, which ends up as the same purpose as a couch. I think it can sometimes be a little hard to realise that relaxation isn’t something that a person should just schedule into their lives. It should always have a place in daily life, that is there as a full-stop to a busy day.

I hope that everyone has a little time to put their feet up, and enjoy some comfortable peace.

Howdy Doodie

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am getting really bad at this update thing. Wish I had a lot more motivation. November is NaNoWriMo, and for the first time in 4 years, I am not even attempting it. The idea is that a person writes a full length novel in the space of a month. As enjoyable as I find the process, I have no motivation what-so-ever. If there is one thing that I hate, it is the thought that I could fail, which would be a certainty.

In my personal life, I am still working away in my temporary job. Money for Christmas, and for things that I have needed for months. It is a relief, that even though I do not have an abundance of money, that I can buy some of what I want. I can pay my way. Which is something that I struggled to do without a job.

I don’t think that I ever appreciated how difficult it is for someone to find employment once they lose a job. I was in constant employment for almost 13 years of my life, and yet I was unemployed for 6 months trying to find a job. I’d hate to see how bad it would have been, if I had never worked. But that is what some people face. With the unhelpful Job Centre staff, it is very easy to lose any hope of finding employment. And I imagine that feeling would get worse and worse, the longer that you were unemployed.

Long story short, I am happy where I am. Yes, it maybe isn’t idea to be working in a warehouse, but for the moment it pays my bills, and everyone there are so nice. I have been cross-trained in another department after under 2 months, which feels great. I feel like I can so something, and that I am useful. Once I force myself out of bed, I am in a great mood going to work. Which is a complete 180 on the sleepless nights I faced at my old job.

But working has me in a good mood. And considering what has happened over the last year, it is great to have my sense of purpose back.

Always Learning

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I heard recently, that once you reach your 20s, it becomes harder to learn things. I feel a bit weird about that, as I have learnt more as an adult than I did at school.

I find that as I get older, I do have more patience and motivation to discover more things. I like seeing new things, and finding out things I haven’t previously known about. I think when I was in education, I became apathetic about education, because I didn’t liked the environment of ‘forced learning’. It was okay, if the topic was something that I had interest in, but when it wasn’t, I found it so hard.

When I have got older, I have started learning off my own back. And because I am learning at my own speed, I find it so much easier to stay motivated and pick up things. I think, that it is important that people keep an open mind to carry on learning. That could be the problem with a lot of ignorance, people feel that because they are adults they have nothing else to learn. They have closed off their minds, which stops them from picking up on anything new. Which, I feel, can leave a person at a disadvantage to those with a more open mind.

Saying that, sometimes learning something new can be frustrating. I recently got a new laptop, which has Windows 8 installed. Now, the last version of Windows that I had, was XP, and it did what I wanted. But my computer died, so I got a new one. Windows 8 is a headache. I am trying to find my way round it, but I keep on finding that it seems to halt me in whatever I am doing. I think Windows 8 is about touch screen technology, which is great, unless you don’t have a touch screen device. Which I don’t. So I am trying to get my head round this new operating system, and until I do, I am stumbling through every activity I try to do on it. So frustrating. But, I just have to take a deep breath, I will get it eventually.

And that’s what I have learnt through being an adult. Patience and perseverance. I am not afraid to give something the time to get to know it properly.

Procastinating

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Do you ever have that moment of realisation, when you come out of what ever cocoon you have been surviving in, and discover that the world has still continued on?

Sounds silly, let me explain.

I have been so stressed out about starting work, and the last and a bit has been me working as hard as I can. I want to be useful and be the best me, that I can. As such, I have been living in this little bubble. I have met up with some friends and things, but I find that I have been mostly spending downtime cuddled up at home. Which is sometimes all a person needs after a hard days work, so I don’t feel bad about that. 

The bad bit is when I pop my head outwith my wee ‘bubble’ and it seems that a lot of other things has been going on. Be it good things, bad things, or just things people have to live through. The fact that these ‘things’ have happened, and I have been completely oblivious, does frustrate me. I do think that this may be because I like knowing what is happening around me, always have done. And, when I don’t know, I can feel a little confused, which I guess is perfect to describing how I feel now.  

I am confused because I feel like I am out of step with the world around me, and I don’t think there is a reason for me to feel like that. It happens every now and then, that time passes by a person so quickly that they reach for a break pedal. But, knowing that I shouldn’t worry about it, doesn’t stop me from worrying that I’ll miss something important

Expelling Energy

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I have been awful restless over the last 6 and a half months. I have been out of work, and in a bit of a bad way, mentally. It has been a struggle doing anything, which is why I believe that this blog has dried up, and it has been so hard to get it rebooted again. To be honest, when you are not having to go to work or education, I think you can have the tendency to feel lethargic. Because if you chose to, you can sit alone, you don’t have to spend most of your days working or studying. So, your brain switches off. There is no focus for your thoughts, so you can just think about yourself and feel negative, because it may feel you are not going ‘anywhere’. 

What has lead to this pondering, is the fact that I started a new job today. And having a focus to kick-start my energy has ended up with me wanting to fill my day with more. Whereas before, I was meeting a friend during the day, and it was great. That was all I did. I didn’t have any energy to write about anything, because I had no motivation to observe what was around me, because it all just seemed pretty damned depressing. Now, I feel like I have achieved something today. That is something that is debatable, especially due to the fact that today was 99% induction, and I actually did very little. But it feels like I am a part of society again, like I am a functioning person again and I have a purpose. 

It maybe sounds a little over-kill, but it truly feels that revolutionary to me. It feels like a big thing in my life. With the 5am wake-up call forcing me into the world earlier than I would normally like, I feel like I have tapped into this unused source of energy, which has just propelled me through the rest of my day. I came home with a buzz, and that I wanted to write. I wanted to create something. I wanted to read a chapter of my book. I wanted to draw a few things. I have not felt this way in so long, it really is great. 

My last job was wearing me down. I had taken quite a dislike to it, and that was making me depressed. I was clashing with people, and because it was taking all my energy just to turn up, the job was not being done right. I was exhausted both physically and mentally after there for only an hour. At the time, I didn’t realise this, and I pushed and pushed myself, despite not succeeding at the most basic of tasks. Maybe it was just a change that was needed? Maybe I needed to do something different? And it is only now, when I have started at a new workplace, is it I realise how much energy I have when I am happy about working. I wake up in a good mood, I go to work in a good mood, I come home in a creative mood. 

Now, obviously, I can’t see into the future, and as such, I don’t know how long this job will make me feel like this. But, I feel like I have learnt a valuable lesson. I really am a threat to myself, when I let a job get at me, to the point I am crying every day. At the end of the day, as great as money is, nothing should ever make a person feel like they are unworthy. If something is making you feel so bad, that you are struggling to function, get it out of your life. Something negative can suck out all your energy, and believe me when I say that it is a horrible thing where the only thing that survives lack of energy, is self-doubt. 

So be who you want to be. Fill your time with as much happiness as you can and enjoy the energy you get as a result.

Life Is A Plotline

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I have been reading a lot of non-fiction books lately, where people publish their thoughts, feelings and general anecdotes about their life. You find out about the inner workings of their brains and really get to know someone. It is something that is really magical about books and reading. You can get a sense of complete understanding for someone you have never even met.

But how can a person experience enough to write books on their life? A normal average life is not something to write home about. Life is mundane and uneventful 99% of the time. Or mine is anyway.

But then, it is maybe not what you experience, just how you experience it. Some people believe that those who look through the world as if they were a child, tend to lead happier lives. It isn’t the physical aspects of life that makes these people happy, it is the idea that everything is an adventure, no matter how medial the task may seem. As we get older, it seems that we get more apathetic about the world we live in. It as if we have seen that failure is a part of life, so we prepare for any future failure by looking at the world negatively. But, if we push the apathy aside, appreciate things on face value. A sunny day, pretty flowers, tall buildings, anything. Maybe thinking of every day as an adventure, creates more stories to tell. Makes life seem more exciting.

Another aspect of ‘how you experience life’, may come down to a person’s thought processes. Some people speak their minds about particular topics, a bit like Karl Pilkington.  Karl is a man who is honesty seems to be the voice that other people ignore. He has an overly pessimistic, realist attitude about seemingly everything. Karl speaks and writes about his honest opinions, which resonates with people as well as keeping attention with subject matter that could be considered as mundane.

So I guess, the best thing to do is be honest, although I doubt I would ever be able to write a book on my life. But, it is an interesting thing to think about. Could you write some kind of autobiographical book?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I used to always think that if you were a good person towards those around you, that people would be good to you. When I was at school, and people used to call me names, I believed it because I wasn’t being a good enough person. As bad as it seems, looking back on it, I felt such a way because  it made me feel in control of things. As if the things other’s thought or said about me, would be fixed by me acting in a certain way.

As I  became older, I obviously realised that my thinking was utter bullshit. But, feeling responsible for what happened in my life was a normal reaction. As people, I think we want to feel responsible for all that surrounds us, as if that responsibility gives us a valuable position in this world. And, I don’t know about any readers, but having a sense of responsibility helps me feel validated. Which I think is just part of human nature.

I think one of the worst things about realising that not everything that happens to you is within your control, is that your are hit with a feeling of hopelessness. That no matter, what you do and how you act, there will always be bad things that will happen to you and those around you. And I think that is a hard thing to get used to. Particularly, when you are like myself, and believe that a one’s future is something based on actions, rather than hope and luck. And, as you grow up, a big part of adulthood is accepting that some things happen just because they do, and are in no direct reaction to any action by any person. And I say it is part of adulthood, because I think it is something that takes a lot of maturity to accept.

 

Feeling Nostalgic?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I do. 

All the time. 

I crave for the days of yesteryear, where my life was not filled with finding ways to pay my bills. Where all I did is watch cartoons, and spend entire summers outside playing with my friends. Dancing to the Spice Girls and throwing Barbies up trees (for Action Man to rescue, obviously). Those where what my summers were full of. 

And now, I find myself playing Zelda and Mario games of my youth, whilst watching remakes of game shows I loved. I watch DVD box sets of Chip N Dale’s Rescue Rangers and Talespin, to remind me of a time when life was so much easier. As if consuming an entire series of Disney cartoons could, in some way, delay adulthood. 

It is of course, impossible. But as a generation of workers, with what looks like a pretty bleak future. According to the news agencies around us, we are either going to get poisoned with pollution, die in an atomic war or run out of money and lose civilisation. What can a normal person do about all that scary stuff? Not very much. So people of my generation, tend to look back at the period of their lives where everything was so exciting, before the heavy fist of reality knocked us to the ground. 

I guess I want to say, that it is okay to be nostalgic of days where you maybe felt like more of a success. Where life was really easy, because you didn’t have to deal with anything, really. The hardest thing you had to deal with, was which kid were you going to play with today. And then teenagerhood came, and everyone played the victim. We started to realise that life was maybe not all fantastic, but we could still just read books or play video games as a bid to escape. And then, you have to deal with the real world. You have to find a job, get experience, get a house or flat, have a relationship, plan for a future… It can be overwhelming. 

So as a result, more people are picking what they used to love, what made them happier in their youth, and using them as a shield against the real world. That sounds a lot worse than I mean. The world, and the companies that run it, are harsh, they don’t care about the people who pay them money. You are jostled from place to place, expected to act a certain way, and be a certain kind of person. It is normal to use something as a buffer, to act as a cushion from harsh reality, and that could be many things.  Sport, fashion, books, DIY, car care, hiking, blogging, creating art, playing computer games… all ways to help people relax and be themselves. It doesn’t matter what it is, what matters, is that you find a way that helps you cope. 

So, don’t listen if others berate you for liking certain things. All that matters is that it harms noone, and makes you happy.  And others should remember that, people pick things that make them feel secure to help them relax. If it doesn’t effect you, why be so critical on someone else?

Fight Club!

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Isn’t it great when something goes your way? When all the naysayers get proved wrong and you can stand victorious, with your hands in the air.

On the route to your victory, you may have been subjected to negative comments from those around you. A willingness to beat you down, and make any success you have seem more trivial. It can be grating, and more than a little dis-spiriting. And when things do go your way, you may want to throw a self-righteous laugh in the face of your detractors. But what does that achieve?

The negative comments are made, usually because people want you to be taken down. They may feel jealous that you are getting something that you worked for. Particularly if that person is going through a patch where they feel like their life is worse than yours. Their words may hold a venom that implies that they hope you fall on your backside in failure.  But, what doesn’t help is that when you are successful, you point out how flaws from those who suggested you would fail. It can start an argument, which is based on nothing than an idea of one-up-manship that you both feel for each other. It is endless, and can sully whatever success you have worked hard for. 

If you are in a better position due to hard work, you do not have to answer to anyone. You have earned your success, so enjoy it and don’t lower yourself to the mentality of those around you, hating your success. Let them hate. Don’t let it ruin your happiness.

Passion For Fashion (And Make-up)

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am a girl. And as a girl, I am supposed to like certain things such as make-up and fashion. Certain things I have no interest in.

The internet deals with the conception that all female bloggers only talk about either fashion or make-up. I am here to say, it is nonsense. I visited Company and discovered a blogging section full of style blogs. Now, over the last year or so, Company magazine has gone through a re-style, where it promotes the internet and self-expression. But only if it centers around style blogging of make-up tutorials and shopping hauls.

Now, if you like that kind of thing, fine. But there’s so many blogs doing the same thing, I don’t think Company needs to promote some over others. They should promote advice blogs, art blogs, music blogs, because life doesn’t just begin and end with how someone looks. I know the magazine’s routes are fashion, but to fully meet the need of the modern woman, you need to look at other things.

I read blogs that are used like mine. Things about people’s life and opinions. Blogs that people write as an escape to life, where the reader becomes a confidant. When people talk about things they buy, it grates on me because I don’t have a lot of money to spend on things. Which has never bothered me before. But when someone recommends a blog to me, and it looks more like a shopping list instead a sharing if thoughts, I feel short-changed.