Dedication Is Key

Sometimes, I am guilty of trying something, but not trying hard enough. This is never something that I do intentionally, I just have a short attention, and so go away to do something else. The hard thing is, as an adult who thrives on creativity, it can completely leave me flustered. And, when I am flustered, I become stuck and end up doing nothing at all.

I get inspired by everything around me, and love to create, but I feel that is part of my problem. I have so many ideas, and things I want to focus on, I can sometimes end up not focusing on anything in particular, or 3 things at once. This causes me a problem because, rather than completing one task at a time, I half-do lots of things. Which leaves me frustrated, and nothing gets completed.

Something that I need to focus on is learning to do one thing at a time. I operate best when I have a list of things that I have to work through. This way, I can methodically work through what I need to do, and get it all completed. But, this only works if I get round to making the list, and then focus on working through that list. Sometimes, I don’t even have the focus to do the one thing that actually works for me. Frustration isn’t the word.

I guess, that I need to actually dedicate myself to getting things finished. I mean, it certainly isn’t coming up with ideas that I am having a problem with, nor is it starting the execution of such ideas. I think I need to change how I feel about everything. Complete what I start, should be a new mantra of mine. And, I did start this blog about 6 hours ago, and came back to finish it, so it CAN be done.

Start Again.

So, it’s the start of yet another week, and almost on to the third month of the year. :S Does anyone know how I can slow time down a little, it seems to be going way too fast.

I don’t think that it’s helped with the fact, that because with my current financial woes, I have been wishing for payday. Something which is becoming a common occurence, I may add. But, it feels like I am wishing all my time away. It’s a nightmare that I have fallen into that pattern, where I am always looking to something else. It helps me get through my ‘bad days’, but it means that I am wishing my time away, and don’t enjoy life as much as I should.

I don’t know if this is a common thing, but I can’t help but feel like a bit of a waste of space. Mostly because I am not focusing on the here and now, which isn’t really dealing with anything. It’s like, ‘ignore problems and focus on something else’. Yeah it stops you feeling weighed down by stuff, but it doesn’t actually deal with what is causing me to feel so bad in the first place.

And even when I have a good day, I feel like I am walking on eggshells, until I mess up. It’s like I am waiting for something to go wrong. I mean, I do the best I can, but it never feels good enough. So I create these targets I aim for, like going to a gig or something, and I focus on that, and ignore my insecurities. Well, I can’t ignore them completely, as they will always be there, but I can put my worries to the back of mind.

Despite how good this is at the time, I don’t think it is very good in the long-term. *sigh*