Hey ho NaNoWriMo.

Progress report time, on the 3rd of November, the 3rd day of NaNoWriMo and I seem to be doing ok so far.

Monday got off to an awesome start with me achieving my target of 2,500 words, and I felt like this whole task seemed to be a lot more reachable than I originally thought. But after a difficult Tuesday, where I had lost ‘the flow’ and things weren’t coming to me as easy as they were the previous day.

Today I was up before 9am, and I had crossed both the 4k and 6k mark before lunch. This made me feel rather good, and I had a clear idea of how it would go in my head.

Yes, all the planning is in my head. I have no written down notes on how each chapter goes, I just have a rough idea of where the story is going. Yeah, now thinking about it, I should have made an actual plan.

A bit late for that now. :S

The basics are this, Caley Hamilton is a 25 year old shop worker who has got herself stuck into a rather lonely rut since leaving school. She makes friends with Sid, a girl who changes Caley and turns her life upsidedown. How will Caley cope when she is forced to live outside the protective bubble she has spent her life hiding within?

Sorry for the ‘barely anything’ update, but I am spending all my time writing at the moment, soo… 😛

 

Musical Tuneage: McFly- Dynamite

NaNoWriMo wordcount- 6,007 / 50,000 words (13%)

Book of choice: Paper Towns by John Green

Looking For…Something!

My emotional state as at a high, and I have an abundance of plot ideas and character rundowns in my head.

It only means one thing.

It’s time for NaNoWriMo!

For the uneducated, National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is a task where you have to write a novel of 50,000 words in length throughout the month of November. This was something I watched from affar last year, but this year I have decided to take part. I thought that it would see me working on a schedule again, and see if I can get things moving in other paths of my life.

So, my aims are to write 2,500 words a day. This means that it will only take me 20 days to write the novel, and then I could have time to change anything. Also, that would allow me a couple of ‘off’ days, in case I have to be away doing something else. I think that this daily target, makes the overall goal seem more reachable.  Which is how I work better, if I give myself smaller targets, then I should be able to achieve bigger things.

And because I have been spending a lot of time reading novels and articles, I am getting a lot of ideas for it. One of the main themes, I have decided, will be obssession. I am doing this, because this is something I have a lot of experience in, as I obsess over A LOT. And I have seen it recommended, that it is often best to write about things that you have some experience in. That’s how many writers start out, they write something which has paralells to their normal, every-day existance.

So I have a starting point. My main worry, is that I let the story peak to early, and end up just filling in the rest of the required word count with rubbish. But I have the basic storyline mapped out in my head. I have been reading my favourite books,  to try and give myself ideas on how to keep a story flowing. Also been watching a few of my favourite films, like High Fidelity, Clerks, Mallrats and This Is England.  The reason I have done that, is because I love films with really well thought out dialect between characters. This is something that I have been looking at, as a bit of a guide, as to how the dialect is successful.

I know there is no prize, and there is every chance, I could end up hating the story and fail completely. But it is worth a try, and I think it is a great way to challenge yourself. And it would show that I can produce something, within a schedule, if I really work for it. I am also hoping, that by thinking about it beforehand, I won’t have a massive panic, and write rubbish, which would make me doing the task worthless.

I want to get something out of this, which could be productive as something I can keep. Yes, I do plan to write something that I want to keep and share. I want to experience that pride again, when someone is impressed with what I have written.

So, wish me luck. As from tomorrow, NaNoWriMo begins, and as does my journey to writing my first Novel.  *Hehe-that sounds cool*

Free Speech Comes At A Cost

Ok, this is a follow-up to blog I did about journalism and the media, a few days ago.

The reason I am back on this topic again is because of a, much publicised, piece on, fashion magazine, Marie-Claire’s website about fat people on TV. Journalist, Maura Kelly, who wrote about whether ‘fatties should get a room’. This is someone who as a journalist, feels that she should be honest.

“I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room.”

Which is brutal, but it’s the truth, to her. She is stating , not what anyone else thinks, but what she thinks. Bear in mind also, that Ms Kelly works for one of the biggest fashion magazines in the world. This is a branch of society where being stick thin is the norm, and any amount of fat is deemed unacceptable. So I would imagine, if you call a size 14, fat, then you would find someone obsese mortifying.

“I think obesity is something that most people have a ton of control over.”

This is correct. A lot of people with weight issues, do have control and do need to take responsibility. People are advised by Doctors to lose weight, and they choose to ignore medical advice. They just point the finger of blame at someone else, a wonderful product of our culture. Also, she is saying that she believes people DO have control over what they eat. And they do, it’s a person’s decision to watch TV, rather than exercise. As someone who suffered because of an eating disorder, she changed her life around, and believes that ANYONE can change things.
We are frequently told that we are so lucky that we have free speech, and that the media is not controlled. But I believe that it never will be free. Someone stating their opinion gets slated. It’s like, ‘as long as you aren’t offending anyone, then you can say what you want’. Well, that’s opinion, it helps you understand another viewpoint, and realise we are not all cut from the same cloth. So all these people, saying that a journalist should be sacked for stating her opinion, are a disgrace. If there were more journalists in the media, who expressed themselves honesty, then the media would become something worth being interested in. But right now, you have to stick to the same rules and have the same thoughts as everyone else. And, to be honest, I hate it. I hate that no matter which newspaper you pick up, it’s all the same neutered ‘opinions’ that just written in a slightly different way.

You can argue all day with who is at fault for the article. Is it the Ms Kelly, for letting out her harsh opinions? Is it the editor, for giving a vulnerable woman such a personal issue to write about? Is it the site itself, for allowing the story to be published in that state? Is it the people who read this and got so ‘mock offended’, and spread their panic across the internet? Or, is just that too many people want to continue to bury their heads in the sand, despite the fact the fact there is truth in the article?

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter whose fault it is. And I don’t believe that Ms Kelly should have had to apologise to some overly sensitive people for her thoughts on the obesity issue. If you truly believe something you write, then show some conviction and stand by it, no matter how large the occurring witch-hunt may become.

It does show that there are parts, within our society which need looked at. The fashion industry, it’s unbelievably size-ist, and I don’t think that Ms Kelly’s opinions are the worst out there. But only by confronting the problem, can we see how  bad it really is, and even educate people from an overweight person’s perspective.

But the main disturbing thing, which came out of this article and it’s notoriety, is the pure hatred being shown towards Ms Kelly. This isn’t people who are as self-righteous as they make out. I mean, they were all taking a personal attacks on Ms Kelly, wanting her fired. This is disgusting, and it made me feel ill. At the time I read the article, there was almost 2,000 comments on it, there is probably so many more now. But almost all the comments were negative. Negative because people on the internet have no idea about a journalists expression to be truthful to oneself. Negative, because the internet is full of it. anonymous people saying that Marie Claire is terrible for allowing the piece to be published. But, are the magazine  not brave, by posting such a ‘hot’ issue, it has opened debate, and is allowing people to see something from somebody else’s perspective.

I applaud Marie Claire and Ms Kelly, because you have ‘stuck your neck out with the article’. You have given a sense of depth into a very one-dimensional field, and should be thanked for it. If people are too arrogant to understand journalism and opinions, then I believe they should just disconnect their internet and stick to their bland, opinionless, newspapers.

_________________

For the record, I am termed as overweight. I am a UK  dress size of 20, and although I am happy with me, I am aware I eat too much rubbish, and don’t exercise nearly enough. But, it is my fault, and only I can change this. And when I do, it will be on my terms.

Aaaaaaannndd focus!!

Photography wise, I mean.

Been looking around sites like Deviant Art and realised that a hell of a lot of people consider themselves ‘photographers’. I don’t think it’s an issue that so many people love taking pictures. I mean, I think its great when anyone does something creative. Creativity is the language of the soul, or was that food of the soul. I can’t remember, I am rubbish at remembering quotes. Anyways, creativity is good for a person.

It’s when people get all snot-nosed about it.

The people who spent 5 years at University, aren’t necessarily better photographers that anyone else, but it’s that they think that they are. **Making no sense- deep breath** What I mean is, why should having a formal education in something make you better at your chosen topic. It doesn’t. All it means is that you have more pieces of paper when it comes to trying to get a job. This is the ‘hallelujah’ moment I had last year, that no matter how much education you have, you aren’t going to necessarily ‘get better’. Sure, you may learn more skills, which is nice and all, but if you can’t visualise things on your own, then no amount of skill can change that. You can spend your 20s at College or University, and still end up as hopeless as you were at High School.

Sounds a bit ‘tough love’ but it’s true. The person who does something because they love it, is going to be far more successful than someone who chases a career because it will make them money. It is something, I think I needed to be out of College to see. It ‘opened my eyes’, if you will.

    “A person receives a richer eduction experiencing life, than they would at any School”

This nameless quote (I need to start noting down names) is speaking the truth. Whilst education is nice and all, it is mostly just an easy extension onto High School, where you can delay ‘adulthood’ for an extra few years. The only adult thing that seems to happen is the debt. The thousands and thousands of pounds worth of debt College gifts every student. So that before they can graduate, they need to find a job, and when they do, it all goes into paying College loans off. So College graduates have this big pressure on them to get a job in their profession, sometimes annihilating any enjoyment for the subject, the person once had.

Taking a subject you enjoy, and trying to turn it into a career is hard. Most times people give up, because it either becomes too hard, or they lose enjoyment. And, let’s be honest, there is no attraction in working a job you hate for the rest of your life. If you have read this blog at all before, you were aware of the stress I had trying to start my own business as soon as I left College. At the time, it seemed like an awesome idea, start earning money from my own work. But, as frequently happens, it didn’t quite go like that. I had a massive creative block, that I just couldn’t get out of.

The thing with working in the Creative Industry, you can try as hard as you can, but if you have no inspiration, then it is hard to produce work. So I took a gap, and starting working on other things, such as writing. This helped. Because I could write about my apparent failure, I received advice from other people who had the same experience. These, I suppose, would be my peers. People who were trying to sell their own work to make a living, be it as a designer, artist or writer. Their encouraging words were what I needed, and helped me carry on. I would still try to do something, but I wouldn’t force it too hard. As if it becomes a chore, it is too hard to do it for pleasure again. So I went and did other things. Wrote a few articles for websites, and slowly I’m getting my motivation back, and am now creating work I feel happy with.

I know that this isn’t over, and I will battle with trying to keep my creativity my whole life, but I know how to deal with it a bit better.  I know that most people deal with creative pits, where they can’t do anything. I also know, that it took the will of working nothing but a normal job for a few months, to spark my desire.

The truth is, take a break if you need it. I can now afford that luxury as I build up a backlog of work, as well as working in a call centre, which pays the bills. College will never offer you that luxury, you have to work through your block, and for a lot of artists that’s why their creativity crashes after they graduate. I know. It happened to me.

I’m not saying I regret anything, because I loved college, and I did learn a lot, but the heart was already there, I just needed the vessels to help carry everything.

To any students who may read this, NEVER EVER think that you are better than another artist or author, just because you had a better education. Talent is not something which is created in a classroom, it is something one is born with, and true talent will always shine through.

 

 

More Than Just Words On A Page

I am not a journalist, not educated in the skills of the written word past my High School education. And by the stage I began to get interested in writing, I was in an anti-school state of mind. I hated exams, and that’s what it felt like school was like, one massive exam.

But this doesn’t mean that I am invalid to comment on the amount of tripe in the media, which is dubbed as ‘journalism’. If I went with my impulse, and followed a career into journalism, I would have been surrounded by the egomaniacs, who are hellbent on being ‘celebrities’. Something that sickens me. I would have loved to have a career in journalism, because I love writing and I enjoy discussions that follow one sharing their opinion on events. That’s it! I wouldn’t want to be on television, as I find that seems to be full of arrogance, and my day-to-day life is filled with that already, thanks very much.

Teenagers now follow a career in journalism because they think they will get on TV, so that they can become ‘celebrities’. That isn’t journalism, that isn’t reporting something true to yourself. I think it would have destroyed me, to have to communicate something, which wouldn’t be true to myself. Maybe this is a fault I have, that I can’t write about something I have no passion or interest in. I don’t know if I view writing too much of an art form. Because that’s what I think it is, I feel that it is an emotional release, where you have to be inspired write something of interest. Like, I have to believe what I’m writing about, or it just becomes very transparent and boring. Because I have always looked upon all types of literature in this way, I think that I find it alarming that so many people use it for nothing else, but to make themselves famous.

As a child, I dreamed of writing a novel, but that was more because I felt a bit of pride when I saw someone reading what I wrote. It made me feel so light-headed, if the reader enjoyed my creation. Now, I just feel jaded with media, because it seems that a lot of things seems to be lacking emotion or have an ulterior motive. This has been a thought that has bothered me within the last few years, particularly around the time of the General Election. I found that whatever, newspaper or TV news report I encountered, it seemed like they all had their own political alliances. Like this form of educating the Great British public, came with unavoidable propaganda for a Political movement. Maybe I am naive, but I am of the opinion that all media should be impartial. Ok, I know that seems like I am contradicting what I have just said, but I think that if you have all the journalists saying what they believe in, and then you have a variety of opinions, then you have platform for a range of views to be heard and then allow the public to make their own decision.

But that is giving too much power to the public isn’t it? We live in a society where it is dictated to us who we should admire. There are thousands of ‘celebrities’ who have won their ready-built fame through ‘reality’ TV. Why are we being forced to celebrate some mediocre singer, who fucked someone once? Shouldn’t it be the person who has spent her life crafting her own voice, who is still singing in local bars, getting all the attention? Shouldn’t we be celebrating the lives of the doctors who save a normal person? Why should we accept that a man kicking a ball for 90 minutes a week, is able to earn 200 times the salary of the normal working person?

It’s obvious that things in society are far more imbalanced, than just the media. The big thing I have an issue with, is the emergence of the ‘showbiz media’, the magazines, TV shows and blogs dedicated to telling the warts-and-all tales of famous people. I believe that the ‘celebrity’ culture was created, to take the attention away from more pressing matters, such as the more unpalatable parts of the news, which often goes unreported. Proof of this, is when a class of 8-year-old school children were asked who was Cheryl Cole’s estranged husband, 78 out of 83 kids correctly said it was Ashley Cole. The same children were asked if they knew who was Prime Minister, 12 correctly said David Cameron, 21 said The Queen and the rest didn’t have a clue. Is that the message we want our media giving to children? ‘Who cares who runs the country, some nonentity’s relationship status is what’s important’.

That is why I both want and don’t want to be part of the media. I would like to get the opportunity to tell all these mislead sheep what is important, to help them get a better understanding of the world around them. But, I know that the ‘words of reason’ would find it hard to break through the latest relationship woes of whatever overpaid footballer is the topic of the day. Which would make me feel worthless, that ‘real news’ would be overshadowed by gossip. It makes you wonder how much of the media is controlled by the government, are we being sold gossip as news to try to dumb us down. As they say, ‘ignorance is bliss’ so it would be easier for the government to hide as much as they can, and just fill the gaps with ‘celeb scandal’. This sounds like something from a George Orwell novel, but it could happen, and I wouldn’t be suprised if it already was.

Terrifying thought isn’t it? How much of our ‘free media’ is actually free?

Been busy

Over the last week or so, I have been really busy.

*Reading Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, and writing notes on it*

*Listening to Oasis, Hanson, Stereophonics, a1 and other musical obsessions from my school days*

*Browsing for things to buy with pay, including John Green books, a Ravenclaw scarf, GC pre-order pack for cardiology and (yes, you read this right) a skirt*

*watching too many Vlogs, again*

*Barely seeing the people I live with. I’m starting to think its just me and my cat in the house*

*Watched Firefly, and remembered how awesome it is*

*Watched Lip Service and realised the BBC will never make a show as awesome as The L Word*

*Started drawing for the first time in ages- whoot*

*Realised how much I suck at Wii games, I am better at MW2 and Forza on Xbox*

*Registered for NaNoWriMo, and aim to reach the goal of writing a 50,000 word novel throughout the month of November*

I Walk An Empty Road

I like to think myself as an independent person. I like to spend time on my own, be it reading, watching TV shows or just thinking about things.

This wasn’t something I just stumbled on, this is something that was thrusted on me during High School, where I would spend my times after school in solitary confinement. I was not one of these people with loads of friends, who went out drinking from when they became a teenager. I was happy, sitting listening to music, reading a book.

Neither my brother or sister ever liked reading, and yet is something that I am so passionate about. It’s strange how that happens. I am polar-opposite to my brother sister, never been popular or interested in fashion. I just like what I like. *Shrugs* It’s the best way to be. I know that I love reading a book, that just takes me away into another world. I think it also helps that I am a total dreamer. I fantasize about so many different things, like what would we do under zombie attack.

Come on, that stuff is important. It is.

I guess, being a lonely soul, I’d like to say I don’t have the need to please people. But I do. We need human contact, its something we crave. The approval of others, as if it makes our own existence, that much more worthwhile. It’s utter shit, of course. But someone approving what you do, will always make you feel better. So is everything that you do, there to gain approval of others?

It sounds strange, but because I am pretty forthcoming with my theories and how I live, I do get people saying ‘I wish I could be like that’. Although I should just say, ‘well, do what you believe in’, I end up with this warmth. I think it is nice to know that not everybody thinks I am a babbling idiot, which to be honest, I am. But, it’s like someone giving you moral support. Its nice! And it is really comforting. That’s not why I do what I do, but it does make you think if we subconsciously go searching for approval.

Hmmmm……

Go Go Nerdfighter

When you read the word ‘Nerdfighter’ are you nodding with some understanding of what I am talking about, or are you thinking that I am a lunatic making up words again?

Nerdfighters is the official name for a group of self-proclaimed nerds who fight “world suck”.
The term was coined by author John Green and his brother Hank, who started up a vlog in means of contacting each other, where they made a video every day. They started to get a large following, inspiring a large volume of people (including myself) to create a vlog. Basically the brothers started an internet group, for their fans, to combat badness in the world.

Although John gets a lot of attention from his books (Looking For Alaska, An Abundance of Catherines and Paper Towns), I can honestly say I haven’t read them yet. But I did start following the brothers on youtube, which is what introduced me to the whole idea of Nerdfighters. I is something which I think is pure awesome.



Ok, so yeah. Online geekery is what is keeping one occupied right now. *shrugs* Can’t help it.

DFTBA

Harry Potter And The Blabberings Of Sue

I decided to do a vlog on Harry Potter.
Mostly because I am reading Deathly Hallows before I go see the new movie. 🙂

So, why am I fangirling on here again? Well, Harry Potter has the biggest online fan communitiy on the web. And I am not kidding. A lot of my interests in youtube come from the Harry Potter Fandom, as I used to watch channels all the time from other people on the community. Youtube has helped raise my confidence a lot, and it has also gave me experience at making my own videos.

So, the thanks for all that, goes to Harry Potter. Also, I think, that if you are having issues, then I think that it helps that you can talk it through with different people. I have people who I go out with, people I work, HP people and GCFam members. Each different group tends to have different veiws on things. I think that is really good, and helps you gage opinions better.

And honestly, these days, most of the people I speak to online, I have never met in real life. But I feel more understood than I ever have done before.