The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 1,900 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 3 years to get that many views.
I am one for complaining about where I live. How the same things happen every day, and it gets so tiresome.
But sometimes, you take a step back and take things in for what it is. And you realise that amongst the numbness of daily life, there is a silver lining. Appreciate the time and effort that has gone to build the town or city you live in.
Sometimes, you need to look beyond the Buckfast bottles, and appreciate life. Hard work has gone in to create every little thing around you. From the pavements you walk on, to the newspapers in the shops. Everything has been made by others. And then the grass and weeds that line the pavement, that grow over time, powered by nothing more than nature.
The world is a pretty magical and beautiful place. Just take the time to look around a little. 🙂
What does Christmas mean to you?
For most it is church, and involvement in one of the biggest religious holidays
of the year. Celebrate what marks the rough date of the ‘immaculate conception’ when Mary became pregnant with Jesus. And ceremonies around the world, celebrate the life that was created that day.
But then, some like me, aren’t sure about it. I understand the significance, of it to people, but it just isn’t something I relate to.
I like Christmas, because it brings families together. It gives me the chance to show appreciation to my friends and family. To say thank you. The way we show thanks in society, is to give. We give presents, as a thank you to others being a part of our lives. We eat a meal, round the table, and spend the day together.
So, however you celebrate Christmas, I hope you have a great day. I hope you get the chance to spend time with the people that matter.
The last week has lead to people looking around in shock after the terrible events in Connecticut. There is very little that people feel like they can do. All they can do is try to think about how they’d feel. You look at your family and friends, and feel at a loss at what you would do if you were caught up in a bad situation like that.
My cat, Billy, (pictured above) is a suck-up of a lil’ kitty. Well, he is when he wants something. But when I feel a bit low, he comes up for a cuddle, and pesters me. It’s cute. He helps me feel a little valued. When lost or confused about something, a lot of people turn to their pets.
I think that when we such despicable acts of evil, the love that we see in our pets can be comforting. With fresh food every day and a scratch on the belly, a cat or dog will be your best friend. And being able to see that there is good in the world, could help people make sense of the hatred and despair they see.
This is the nonsensical way I think about things. Well, it makes sense to me.
Sucking at life is easy. People make a big deal of it being ‘so hard’. How heartbreaking it is, when things don’t go your way. How it sucks when you ‘try so hard’ and everything just falls apart. But be honest. Did you really give the 100%, which the situation required?
Probably not. I know I am in my current predicament because I haven’t applied myself to things. I will cry, and feel sorry for myself, but that does even less than the ‘no effort’ does. I try to tell myself that I have an amazing work ethic. I do, in the aspect that I go out and work. I, however, do not apply myself to said work, which ends up with things going wrong. I then have the nerve to turn to others, to managers, to teachers, and blame them for my failures.
It all sounds rather terrible, doesn’t it? Maybe not something I should post in something I consider my ‘more professional’ blog. ‘Come and hire me, I’ll show face but don’t expect any work done’.
I am posting this here, because I feel that acknowledgement of a problem, is the first step to try and fix it. And I want to fix it. I am a bit sick to the back teeth of constantly failing. My life feels like a list of ‘have not dones’, rather than ‘have dones’. Which is the route of my depression recently. Being depressed is very tiring, and is something that takes up all your time, absorbs all your energy. Which is ironic when I think it is laziness, which has got me into where I am right now. All because I couldn’t be bothered.
So, I am setting out to become more bothered and dedicate myself to getting things done. Whether it is blogging, completing tasks at work, or visiting friends when I say I would. I suck at all aspects of life, and I am so unreliable. I want to be a person someone can turn to. I want to excel at my job. I want to be better than who I am today.
I know it’s a bit early for a New Year’s Resolution, but 2013, let’s have ye.
Why do you do what you do?
Everyone has their own reasons for doing things. They have a way that they want to express themselves, and they use it. I say this because a taxi driver isn’t defined by driving taxi. Your job doesn’t define who you are as a person, it may not even define your social values that you hold. So how do you try and give yourself more value in the areas that matter to you?
I write. Or try to. I have always written out my feelings and thoughts, in a way that I found difficult to speak. Over the years, writing blogs like this has helped me try to get to grips with what is happening in my life and even the world. I have tried to organise my thoughts in a way that helps create purpose for me. If what I say makes sense to someone, and may help them with something, it feels great. It feels like I have achieved something.
But, I find other people define me as one of those weirdos who shares their whole life online. Although, I don’t actually talk about personal things. I maybe talk about feeling depressed, or stressing out about life, but details are missed out. I try to put in what I learn, or advice that I should try to remember, and it’s almost like I give myself a pep talk. But a lot of people don’t see that.
But as life changes, my needs change, as does where I try to find meaning. If I don’t write, and out something ‘out there’, I feel angsty. I feel like I need to post something. It has become something that helps me organise my thoughts and ideas, and to me that is important. It’s the feeling I get when I write, that gives me purpose. It’s hard to explain it to someone, but I feel this immense sense of achievement, although it seems nothing to most people. But that makes it all the more important to me, I don’t expect it to matter to anyone else in the same way.
What if, is not a question really. It is a feeling of self-doubt where a person analyses what could have been. It can almost seem like a person is doubting the decisions that they have made, and they current position where they are now.
It’s a natural thing that people feel. Particularly when we find ourselves approaching the end of another year. It is a normal time to evaluate how the last year had gone, and whether we believe things would be different if we had made different choices. This isn’t very productive. It makes a person regret where they are, and forces them to wallow in any failures.
I am a firm believer that someone should take responsibility on what choices they have made. Maybe you did make a bad decision, then you will learn from it. Wasting your energy on wishing it didn’t happen is useless. You can’t undo anything already done. A person should recognise what’s happened, and look at why it why not to do it again.
Learning. That is what is important in life. Not wishing things happened differently. People need to realise that EVERYONE makes mistakes and wrong choices, it’s what you do as a result of those mistakes, that is important. Education is often thought as something that begins and ends with schooling. That is not true. People are constantly taking in information and they learn from it.
So if you make a mistake, don’t panic. Just think about why things happened and work out how not to do it again. Learn, rather than wish for what never happened.
Sometimes things fall apart, and all that you can do is try to keep the crumbs on the plate.
When things fall apart, you have to garner the strength to muddle through it all in one piece. Which isn’t very easy a lot of the time. It’s just another factor of life that we must put up with, however painful it may be.
It is most painful when you have done nothing wrong, and your world seems to fall apart. Because you have done nothing wrong, it’s hard to know how to fix things.
It’s hard to accept that things will carry on, regardless of you. Because each and every person lives a life independent to one another. Which is strange when you think about how entwined people’s lives are. If something bad happens in a friend’s life, it effects you too. And because it effects us, we want to help fix it. It’s only natural.
But sometimes, the problem isn’t yours to fix. You can’t do anything to fix it, so you have to just try and ‘be there’ when needed. Which is hard, because our nature wants us to be involved. All a person can do, is focus on their life, and try to show support from afar.
Why does your opinion matter?
It’s because opinion is something that you create using your own thoughts and ideas. It’s something that can be really personal, and something that a person can really value.
So when someone disagrees with your opinion, it’s understandable to get defensive. You feel emotional attached to your opinion, and it feels like when someone attacks them, they attack you and what you believe in.
So remember that, when you come up with an opinion that you don’t agree with. That person has crafted their belief from their own thoughts and ideas. That makes their opinion just as important as yours. Treat it with the same respect as you expect your opinion to be.
If you don’t respect what others believe in, why should they respect you?
When you can’t see what is directly in front of you, life can be pretty intimidating. Especially when you considered your future to be secure. I mean, what can you do when the path you’ve trodden on for years suddenly vanishes?
This is where the focus of my stress is planted. I don’t know if I’ll be in the same job next year. It doesn’t sound much, but when you’ve been in the same job for 6 years, to be made aware that come January you could be out of it, you can get scared.
I guess the main objective is to stay calm. As much as it may mean financial hardship, I’m not going to die over it. Look for alternatives. Is this the time for me to go for a change in direction, do a job I have actual interest in? And also, nothing is definite, remember to stay focus and work as hard as you can.
This has been a pep talk for myself. Hopefully it inspires me to keep my head up.
Thou Shan’t Be Defeated!!
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