*A morning walk
*iPod on shuffle
*Packed lunches
*Soaks in the bath
*Coffee and catch-ups with friends
*Smelling freshly cut grass
*Laughing at bad jokes
*Getting into a new book
*Getting into a new TV show
*Being caught up with emails
*Having a lie in
*Drawing a picture
*Taking photos
Author: Sue
I have been writing in various forms since I was a child. I write about what is going on in my life, what I enjoy, and the struggles of dealing with chronic illness and mental health issues. I love live music, football (Scotland and Dunfermline Athletic), reading, Formula 1, Stock Cars, and eating lots of vegan crap.
Productivity Eliminated!!
I am always complaining about how unproductive I am. People scoff, as if it is pure laziness causing the problem. But it really is an issue. I am not unproductive in the manner that I sit and do nothing. I am unproductive in the state that I do other things rather than what I am supposed to do. It is like my mind distracts me to do something other than what I have to do. This is a wee list of the stuff that are the main culprits of my distractions.
*Twitter/Tumblr/Youtube: I have lumped these three together because they are all similar as to how they soak up my time. I log on to the site in question, so see if I have any messages, or anything of interest pops up. Which is fine. Except that ‘one thing’ ends up with me checking something else, and then another. And before I know it, I have lost my whole evening. Because social networks are constantly updating, the new influx of information coming constantly, can make it difficult to tear yourself away from the site.
*Finding Things: Tidying up is the worst for me to get distracted from, and it happens all the time. Usually, it comes as I find a magazine, book or newspaper, and I decide to check through it to see if there is anything worth keeping in it. However, rather than skimming, I sit and read the whole thing. I lose my motivation, as I get myself comfortable, and read through everything I can find. And that seems to take priority in my mind, over the washing that is sitting in the piles on my floor. Yeah, not efficient at all.
*’Just One More’: Computer games, TV shows, chapters of a book, it is very easy to say, I’ll do it after this one. I do it, because I seem to think that it will give me motivation. That because I want to play the next fight on Street Fighter, that I’d give myself 10 minutes to clean a bit, play another fight, another 10 minutes. The problem here is one of two things. I either become too involved in what I am doing, that I ‘forget’ to stop. The other is that I am so shit at what I am doing, I don’t actually get to the checkpoint that I have in mind. So never actually clean up.
Reading this back, I think my main problem is making excuses. Ooops!
Blog Your Feelings
I have spoken to quite a few people about the subject of writing a blog. Many people seem to struggle with the concept of writing about personal thoughts on a public forum, when you can’t express it to people in real life. And when I think about that, it does sound fairly strange. But I do have personal experience on why keeping a blog can help a person.
I have been struggling with various things over the last few years, things that are integral to who I am. And I feel that using this blog as a ‘think space’ helps me try and organise my thoughts. And it also is good to look back on, and see any progress that I have made. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like much, but it does help. Particularly when I have a bad depression period, when I struggle to focus on anything other than my failures. It helps to see that sometimes there are better times, and that I can get through it. I find it reassuring.
When I first started blogging, several years ago, I read a lot of other blogs. Blogs which actually provided me with hope and thoughts that I wasn’t as different as I felt. And if you are having problems in life, I think it helps to know that other folk experience similar things to you. And by sharing my own stories, maybe it can help someone else. And I think, as people, that what most folk want to do. Help those who have experienced similar issues to ourselves. And as we search through life to become a better version of ourselves it’s only natural to want to document it.
Or that’s what I think, anyway.
Bitched Out!
Being a girl, it is expected that you should enjoy the company of other women. I, personally, try to get on with everyone, and be easy going. Because that’s the kind of people I get on with.
But sometimes, I find myself in the company of women, particularly people who I have just met or am not on ‘friends’ terms with. These women are in the habit of making snidey comments behind one another’s back. And I always seem to be sat in the middle so that people complain about each other to me. And, I’ll be honest, it gets on my nerves so much that I zone out and stop listening. It’s awful, but if someone has such a problem with someone, they should talk it out with that person. If they can’t, they shouldn’t go on about it.
When people do bitch, there is always someone who is put in a situation where they have to bite their tongue. It feels like you have to lie for other people. And I don’t understand why anyone would want to put another person into such a situation. Don’t get me wrong, everyone has to complain, it’s part of our nature. But when you only complain about other people, and you do it all the time, you become a pain for other people.
Sometimes it would be nice for people to just take a deep breath, and ignore others faults. Everyone does something wrong every now and then, so if they aren’t hurting anyone, just let it go. *queue singing Frozen songs*
Decreasing Personal Suck
I am sore, in bed and in need of a distraction. And this rambling blog shall be the the task with the duty of giving me something to think about, other than my body wanting to hurt despite all the painkillers I have fed it. *rage* But I am trying to keep upbeat. It isn’t working very well, as you may see.
I am looking to try and change my life for the better. I am very lazy, and don’t do a lot of what I set out to do. I am also very good at complaining about how I never get anything done, despite there being nothing to actually stop me. It’s a very un-productive state I get into, because it just puts me down the ‘shame spiral’ where I belittle myself for not doing anything. And because it is some thing that makes me feel bad about myself, I really need to stop it. I need to stop being so harsh on myself when things don’t go the way I want it to. But that will take time.
I am doing it bit by bit. I have things that I want to do. Things that I want to do to make me better, as a person. I am not saying I am a bad person, but I know that I need to do things to make myself more reliable and such. I have already started, and have bought a diary to try and keep track of everything I need to do. This diary, is going to live in my bag, and go everywhere. I really need to stick to my guns a lot more, and this diary will help me do that. Even if I have to resort to writing little lists on pages, because lists are something that genuinely helps get me motivated to do something.
I am also going to try and sort my nasty eating habits out. Constant take-aways and fizzy juice are good for noone. Yes, have them occassionally, but a person shouldn’t live of these things, as they can seriously effect your mood. Or, they effect my mood. Particularly with Diet Coke, I crave the stuff, and actually go in a bad mood if I can’t actually have some. It’s crazy. But, I do know that if I cut things out completely, I end up failing straight away, and think ‘what’s the point’. I also chose to be a vegetarian a few years back, but have since had periods where I have eaten meat. And it was ethical reasons, so I just made myself feel guilty, and it became another reason to be down on myself.
So tomorrow (Monday) I am starting afresh. One meal, one day at a time. And hopefully, I can get motivated towards my other goals, like being more creative and going to the gym. Just need focus.
‘Too Much For A Girl’
I have previously posted what it means to do things ‘like a girl’ and it how it seems to mean that something is done poorly. That shouldn’t be the case, because women can do anything just as well as a man.
I was recently handling heavy items, which were mostly lawnmowers, cabinets and TVs. The consensus was that girls should have to life these heavy items, because men can do it better. I was kind of taken aback, I’ve always felt that what a person can and cannot do is decided by the person not themselves, not what sex they are.
If you have never lifted heavy things before, it is hard. Doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do it. It means you work at it, and it becomes easier. The same as anything else in life. Don’t make feeble excuses that have been programmed into you by society. Have belief that you can do anything, because you can.
#LikeAGirl
It’s not very often I will ask someone to watch an advert, just because of the content, but today I am. Always have made a video below that I think you should check out.
The sentiment of doing things ‘like a girl’ has always been used as derogatory, to me anyway. This is something that makes young girls hate themselves well into their adult life. And it is unfair, that one word should be used so negatively. And that one word is there to describe so many people. I think it comes from the idea, where negativity was used to drive people. So certain words were used as insults, as a way to motivate or make some people feel better than others.
But why should doing something ‘like a girl’ be a bad thing. I was born a girl, why should I be shamed that who I am is a bad thing. When I was at school, particularly in sport, if you did something ‘like a girl’, it was done poorly, and not right. To tell young girls that they are poor, just because of who they are, is a terrible thing. But it extends past that. Negative connotations are put on to feminine words and attributes as if they are less important than more masculine ones. This isn’t true. This is what centuries of patriarchy have done, where women were nothing more than birthers and skivies, where the men ran things.
And even now, in 2014, there are major problems with how women are treated by society. And with being dismissed from youth, a lot of women do not have the self belief to stand up and try to make a change. Every woman I know has had some form of assault made towards them, for no reason other than walking down a street. Where if out in a club, a man doesn’t take ‘I am a lesbian’ as an answer, and forces himself onto a woman not interested. She is painted as a slut, as boys will be boys.
It’s time to change how the world thinks, and start with taking back ‘like a girl’. I do everything like a girl, because I am one. I am a fighter, and I will fight so that every woman can feel strong and no longer feel less because of what sex they are. This video is a start, a start to make it so no girls lose their confidence during puberty. To start saying that if you do something ‘like a girl’, it is doing something as much as possible, and pass message on to every person, young and old.
Time for change.
Hello
Bad Sue hasn’t been updating again. Sorry about that. I just haven’t had the motivation. The day job has left me so jiggered, that bar live tweeting the World Cup, I haven’t really been online. Sometimes a break is good for people. Particularly with the internet, as it is very easy to become too wrapped up in the bullshit that is on it.
So I think a break was good. To gather my thoughts, and focus on other things for a change. It’s been a very social few weeks, which has been nice. I am the type of girl who loves to sit and relax on my own. I can sometimes get worked up if things become a bit stressful, and I panic over nothing. It’s how I am, and in learning how to deal with it I am learning not to feel ashamed if I can’t write a blog. Because I do feel ashamed, like I am a failure. Trying to change that, by taking it one day at a time.
I am enjoying the nice weather, summer has landed. Going to start taking sun lotion to work with me, because it is boiling when I finish. It feels strange, but a good strange. Waiting for a bus is so much more bearable when you are sitting on the grass with an ice lolly. The best way to wind down after a tough day at work. 🙂
It’s The Little Things
Sometimes I get so amused by the most stupid things in life. The meerkats on the TV adverts, cat videos on YouTube and bad jokes. This is something most kids have, but lose as they get older. As if maturity supposedly means that our sense of humour has to change. You can be an adult and still find fart jokes funny.
I think that being too serious can make life boring. Sometimes you need to laugh at nothing, just because you feel like it. To restrict yourself from that because you feel like you are not supposed to, seems a bit off to me. A laugh makes you feel better. A laugh can be contagious. A laugh makes you happy. A laugh can then make others feel happier. It can turn a bad day into a good day. It is certainly something that is under-estimated. Life is hard enough without people refusing to enjoy it.
![IMG_0355[1]](https://sueriot.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/img_03551.jpg)
The picture above is two snails I found on my window. It is the season that snails are everywhere, and they do seem to like climbing up windows. This is something that made me giggle because it looks like they are flying. It’s little stuff like that, which makes me happy. So I try to find little funny things every day to make life a wee bit more bearable. If you have had a bad day, a wee giggle about something daft really does make it all seem a bit better.
Documenting Life?
I love capturing what is happening around me. Whether it is drawing a picture, writing things down or taking a photo, it is important for me to document it. Always has been.
Some people seem to think that by documenting every little detail, you can miss out on the simple things in life. Which I guess can be true, in some ways. But I feel like it is more me appreciating the different ways of looking at every day. Even the boring days have their moments where I might think about something, or see something that interests me. I find it really releasing to write down or draw when I feel bad.
I think it is very important that if you decide to document your life using avenues, such as blogging, that you don’t share every little thing. It is important to share my thoughts and experiences rather than the details. Like, a lot of people I know, will gladly spend time with me, but don’t want their life shared with people they don’t know. And as well as that, a lot of people don’t feel comfortable seeing or reading things that are super personal. I don’t think that you need to share EVERYTHING to document things.
I guess I find it hard to explain how I can spend so much time sharing online, without telling absolutely everything to people. But it comes natural to me, I have so many ways to document how I feel and what I experience, I am in the habit of focusing on different things. Like this blog is general pondering, Livejournal is more of what I have been up to and Tumblr is just things I find funny or enjoy. And I like having that separation. I find that it helps me organise my mind better.
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