Ups And Downs

Mental health can be a funny thing sometimes (funny, strange, not funny, ha ha). It is a thing that is completely unpredictable and can be very random. I say this, because mental health a part of every single person, it just effects us each in a different way.

Life, in itself, has it’s ups and downs, no matter who you are. There is a saying, that I read once, can’t remember where, which said that life is a mixed experience, and we must take special effort to remember the good times over the bad. Which is nice, if awful idealistic. As much as I do remember the good times, I also have a habit of over-reacting to the bad stuff.

This is why, I find it good to write things down. When I am writing a post, I am trying to rationalise anything that I have been through. And it is easier to do that, after the event though. Because if I panic, which leads to crying at the moment, there is zero chance for reflection at the time. It helps me, if I go back and think about things. I try to recognise the feeling I get when I start panicking, that butterfly feeling when I start to feel a little floaty. So that I know I need to calm myself down, and take myself out of whatever situation. Sometimes this helps, most of the time I still end up in a snotty, teary mess.

I currently waiting for a Doctor’s appointment so that I can try to get to grips with my anxiety. Because, right now, it feels a little out of control. I am functioning, I have been working, and I am starting to go back to the gym. It has left me with no energy at all, focusing on trying to do what I am supposed to. Focusing on the good stuff is hard, when you are exhausted from just living. That sound very bad, but that is why it is important to speak, write and seek help when you need it.

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