Oh, these days are magical. You can communicate with someone on the other side of the world, as easy as you can communicate with your pal down the road. The internet has truly made the world smaller. Which is great.
Until you have a problem with anxiety.
Now, I have a job, and I am studying a university course, and people doubt that I can have any problems whilst doing those things. I can be okay when I am in a routine, when there is something I can focus on. I have this awful fear of disappointing people. So, when it comes to work, the point of disappointment is not attending work, so that someone else has to do my job. It’s this idea that I am letting someone down, and it is something that can make me panic and have sleepless nights.
This brings me to social media messaging. If I know the person well, I can message back fine. Usually. The problem is, that I assume that whatever expectancy someone has, I am just going to fail. I feel like a ‘wet blanket’, that I am just going to bring someone ‘down’. Like, other people are busy having lives, and I am still here, stuck in my own head. So, sometimes I am messaged by people, and my mind trips me up over the obligation to message back. And I panic, I worry, and I find it hard to reply.
Of course, that isn’t the case all the time. But when it does, I feel like my lack of reply has created an issue. That I have offended someone by my own inability to do something so trivial. The thing is, people do take offence. I have had people get grumpy with me, thinking that I have ignored them, without them being aware that I spend hours of my life worrying about a small message. Writing it out, it does seem really stupid. But that is anxiety, something so silly and stupid, but something I can’t seem to help.
So, if you message someone, and they don’t message back, try not to give them a hard time. It can be hard being so connected to the internet and to the world all the time. It is easy to get overwhelmed. Everyone may reach the point where they need to switch off their phone and have some downtime. And it is okay. It really is.