Sometimes I get tired. Tired of all the effort that has to be put in to make life bearable. It doesn’t happen all the time, just once in a while. I do that thing where I lie in bed and wonder what would happen if I wasn’t there anymore. Like would people give a shit?
I have talked it over with friends, and am assured that I am not the only one who thinks like that sometimes. It happens when it feels like life has come to a dead end. That no one calls or does anything with you, so they wouldn’t miss me if I just disappeared. And how easy would that make any problems? Just run away and forget about them.
But then, isn’t the point of life dealing with challenges and choosing different routes through life? It is easy to get to the point where you can’t be bothered, but true strength is carrying on through those feelings. And sometimes, something will happen that makes you feel valid and a good person. Those times are what should drive us. Helps us say to ourselves ‘well, life is shit, but look at all the stuff I did’.
Maybe you need to feel tired, just so you know when your awake.