The hardest thing about being in any type of lull is getting yourself out of it. When nothing seems to be happening the way you want it to, what do you do?

I try to live in a manner where if I want something to happen, I need to make it happen. Make my own destiny. Which is a great ethos, where you are responsible for your future. When I say ‘try’, mean i agree about being my own future, but I struggle with seeing it through.

I think it is nerves that stop me. Nerves of the unknown. That anything can happen, you could risk everything, just for it to go wrong. It’s almost like I talk myself down from pushing forward, but encourage others to better. A kind of ‘do as I say, not as I do’.

I am resolving to change that. I picture myself somewhere other than being broke and unemployed. The problem with that is how to make it happen. There are so many directions that I could go down, do I pick one thing, or is it better to give myself to several options, and see what works out. I mean, if I work hard, something should pay off, shouldn’t it?

I need to take a deep breath, get my head down and push myself. Getting myself out of this rut, is one of the biggest challenge I have ever faced.