Failure To Launch

Well that went well, didn’t it?

I am struggling to find the time to write more regular, which actually depresses me a great deal. I love writing, and the fact that I am not getting the chance to do so, is rather depressing.

That is a bit of an idea how my life is at the moment. I have good intentions of changing things and keeping up new habits. But, I very rarely get past the ‘thinking’ stage. So, I am sitting at work, bored in my lunch hour, and I thought it would be a good chance to write a little. And when I am sitting here, typing into my computer, I can feel any stress melt away. Now, I know that I am not writing about anything specific, but the very motion is enough to relax me. The repeatitive nature of typing, and watching one’s thoughts appear into a screen before their eyes is something that I have always liked.

Which makes me sad, that I dont put aside more time for it. That my ‘frustration of the day’ could be aired in a blog post, sounds very appealing. The issue that I have, that I have mentioned before, is that to post about a lot of things, you need to have a thick skin. People on the internet don’t seem to have any idea that if they say something to a particular user, they are saying it to their computer screen, the nonsensical username. It is hard to remember that people don’t seem to make the connection between people and content online. Which is silly, really, but it is something that happens, I guess. Because there is zero confrontation involved, people tend to act harsher, so to gain themselves attention.

But, regardless what I tell myself other people think about content they find online, it still stings when someone attacks me. I am the kind of girl who tries to be nice to everyone (and fails, mostly, but my intentions are good). If I post something about a news story or Lady Gaga, it will never personally attack people, because I hate that kind of thing. I have had experience of internet hate, so why would I want to subject someone else to it (no matter their status). I think, rather than the negative comments willing me on to be better, it puts me off. It’s like, ‘why should I say anything else when I get shouted at for saying that’.

Maybe it’s a strange view to have, but I am, afterall, a very strange person.

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