I am sorry there have been no posts in the last week. I have been ill with a horrible virus, which has taken my appetite, whilst covering me head to toe with a rather attractive rash. I’ll be honest, I haven’t been to focus on anything bar my itchy skin. The few days where I was able to thing productively, I couldn’t look at a computer or phone screen for 5 minutes before my head started thumping. So, nothing has been done at all, which is something that gets me really depressed.
I hate it. I like feel I need a sense of purpose for me to be happy. Which may seem silly, but I can’t really help it. I know that one of the easiest things to settle my mind and lift my mood is to feel like I have achieved something. Which is why to-do lists litter my day-to-day life, so that I can actually push myself forwards through every day. It stops me from becoming overwhelmed by things. And when I had no way to even figure out a to-do list because I had no energy, and so it added a feeling of failure on top of feeling like rubbish.
So, I have decided that a week off was the best thing for me do. Things happen, and commitments need to change as result. And for someone who relies on routine so much, this is a good thing. I haven’t once berated myself because I didn’t post last week. It may sound trivial, but that is something rather revolutionary for me. It doesn’t take much for me to start feeling bad, and it happens all the time. So, I am rather pleased that, for once, I made a conscious decision to not even think about it. There was nothing I could do about being ill, and not being able to sit in front of a computer. It is a thing that happened. The important thing is, that I am now feeling more normal. I am wanting to get back into routine again, and get life back to normal.
Hope anyone reading is doing okay, and that you have had better luck than I have recently.
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