Tag: productivity

Decreasing Personal Suck

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am sore, in bed and in need of a distraction. And this rambling blog shall be the the task with the duty of giving me something to think about, other than my body wanting to hurt despite all the painkillers I have fed it. *rage* But I am trying to keep upbeat. It isn’t working very well, as you may see.

I am looking to try and change my life for the better. I am very lazy, and don’t do a lot of what I set out to do. I am also very good at complaining about how I never get anything done, despite there being nothing to actually stop me. It’s a very un-productive state I get into, because it just puts me down the ‘shame spiral’ where I belittle myself for not doing anything. And because it is some thing that makes me feel bad about myself, I really need to stop it. I need to stop being so harsh on myself when things don’t go the way I want it to. But that will take time.

I am doing it bit by bit. I have things that I want to do. Things that I want to do to make me better, as a person. I am not saying I am a bad person, but I know that I need to do things to make myself more reliable and such. I have already started, and have bought a diary to try and keep track of everything I need to do. This diary, is going to live in my bag, and go everywhere. I really need to stick to my guns a lot more, and this diary will help me do that. Even if I have to resort to writing little lists on pages, because lists are something that genuinely helps get me motivated to do something.

I am also going to try and sort my nasty eating habits out. Constant take-aways and fizzy juice are good for noone. Yes, have them occassionally, but a person shouldn’t live of these things, as they can seriously effect your mood. Or, they effect my mood. Particularly with Diet Coke, I crave the stuff, and actually go in a bad mood if I can’t actually have some. It’s crazy. But, I do know that if I cut things out completely, I end up failing straight away, and think ‘what’s the point’. I also chose to be a vegetarian a few years back, but have since had periods where I have eaten meat. And it was ethical reasons, so I just made myself feel guilty, and it became another reason to be down on myself.

So tomorrow (Monday) I am starting afresh. One meal, one day at a time. And hopefully, I can get motivated towards my other goals, like being more creative and going to the gym. Just need focus.

Never Enough

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I work best when working through a list. Doesn’t matter what the activity is, I have to structure it out, so that I can get everything done. I panic when I get overwhelmed, so placing things in some sort of methodical order seems to help me not panic.

But, it isn’t just panicking that I do. If I don’t have a list and order to focus on things, I don’t focus very hard at all. I will maybe start something, but my mind will wander, and I will end up doing something else, without finishing my initial task. Which would be okay, if there was only two or three tasks to do, but give me a day of non-focus and I could ‘half do’ around 10-15 different things. And, then I get frustrated. With myself. With the work. With everything. And then nothing further happens.

Sometimes, despite writing lists, I get bored and do something else. If it is something which uses active thought, like blogging, I’m fine. When it is something like doing housework, I just mentally clock out and end up doing something else. I guess I have to just find a way to become more involved in every task that I set out to do. Try not to become distracted.  I feel, that sometimes it is like I need to have someone watching over me, to push me seeing things through to completion.

I guess I sound like a teenager, who thinks that they have better things to do. But it can honestly be very hard to get things done properly. But, one thing has changed from school-age me. I no longer give up on things, if I have had a bad and unproductive day. I just take a deep breath and carry on at the next opportunity, be it the next hour, day or whatever. I take a moment to take in what I haven’t done, but no longer berate myself on my failures. I might have a whine, but I will put my head down and try to work hard round everything.

I guess the important part is never giving up on anything. You only truly fail when you give up.

Being Inventive

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

The one thing that I have noticed, is that as a freelancer, or someone who tries to freelance, when you don’t get work, it is hard to keep busy. I don’t know if this has been a problem over the last few months. If I get no interest, I take it personal, because my work is such a personal thing to me. So, when I get no work, I feel like it!s because I have done something wrong. I haven’t, but the easiest way to get past these feelings, is to ignore the issue completely. Which I have done.

But I can’t carry on like this. So, I have been writing down ideas of personal projects, that I can take on, to help improve my activity levels. Hopefully, it will also make me feel better about myself and about my work. I always feel better when I am doing things, be it blogging or painting. Because I am using my time more productive, I hope that the positive change of my thoughts, will open the door to more possibilities.

That’s the PMA way of thinking, anyway. That if you experience more opportunities, then more opportunities will come your way. Or that’s the idea, anyway. I have a few ideas I am thinking of, so we’ll see what happens.

Posi-Day 2: Friday Feeling

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Still working on this positivity thing.
So I have been up, and trying to keep myself motivated, with this tidying malarkey. It is something that I find farely hard to keep motivated and positive about. I hate housework with a passion, and just end up losing my temper with the whole thing.

But, doing the ol’ ‘take a deep breath’ routine, and trying to keep on going.
It is working.
But it is a very slow process.

But anyway, it is certainly more fun when you do look on the positive. 🙂 I am in a better mood with everything, even going to work, I am not to bothered about going in. I am going in with the idea that I am there to help people, and that is what I’ll do, rather than thinking about being in a stuffy call centre on a Friday night. So, although it doesn’t sound like much, it does make a HUGE difference.

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

Winston Churchill