Tag: people

Look To The Other Side

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

How many times have you acted without thinking about anyone but yourself? Be honest with yourself. People act without thought several times everyday. This is not meaning to disrespect anyone, or to make anyone feel guilty. It is just trying to get people to acknowledge that we are all selfish, more frequently that we’d dare to admit.

I was watching this new programme tonight called Prisioners’ Wives, created by the BBC, focusing on women whose spouses had been locked up. The episode centres around Gemma, a young twentysomething who is happily married and 6 months pregnant. It falls apart when her husband, Steve, is arrested for murder and Gemma’s life is placed into turmoil. To the the police who speak to her like a criminal, to her work where she may lose her job, everything quickly becomes a mess. It focuses on what the criminal leaves  behind.

Now whilst, it may seem that I am refering to the criminal, not thinking about his wife when he commits crimes, but I am mostly thinking of other people. You can feel the nerves as Gemma feels people judging her on what her husband has done. And it is realising that you will NEVER know what a person is like 100%, and doing so shakes the very foundations of everything you believe in.

It’s the fact that people automatically tag you as ‘bad’, despite never doing anything illegal, and being as innocent as any victim. But yet, people outside judge a person as good or bad dependant on circumstances thrown at them, which is none of their doing. It should be the dury that judges a person, not the press or public. But yet, the innocent family of a criminal, gets subjected to public scrutiny and the ruthless press, who all need to quench their thirst on breaking stories, no matter who it hurts.

It is easy to say that you would never treat a person with us much contempt as what any prisioner’s wife may experience, but it doesn’t need to be that severe. It could be an old woman that you push pass to get on the bus, that ruins her day. It could be the kid who is called fat, when he is trying to exercise. It is the person you said you’d help, but forgot about the next day. Everyone is guilty of hurting others, no matter how accidental it is.

All that is needed is thought. Think about how you would want to be treated, if you found yourself in the shoes of anyone you deal with. Would you want to be shouted at over the phone, as you try to help a customer? Would you want to be shoved aside, when you are struggling to walk as it is? Would you like to be picked out for every insecurity you have? It happens every day, to every person. If you took a second, and treated people with a bit more kindness, you will make a difference. And that difference will come back to you, as good-will is contagious.

Christmas Wishes

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

It is that time of the year again. I am back from another exhausting shopping experience in the run-up to Christmas. I don’t mind Christmas. I love the warmth you get from showing love to those around you, and the knowledge that you have gifted someone something that someone truely needs or wants.

The thing I don’t like is the actual shopping, and how every person goes crazy. The shops are full, the salespeople are losing the will to live as the days get busier. Its just crazy. The whole experience leaves you tired, broke and sometimes depressed. The pressure put on people for buying the ‘right gift’ and the stress of even trying to manoeuvre around a shop.

It takes away the whole feeling of Christmas. It isn’t about store-bought cards and over-priced trinkets, its about showing love to those around you. The traditional meaning of Christmas has been lost over the last few decades, and it is sad. It’s the hardest time of the year for a lot of people, and a letter within a card, means a lot more than some cheap deodorant.

So spread the love this Christmas. Tell everyone you love, how you feel. Spread the positivity, in the hope that it will make a difference to someone’s Christmas. Write a well meaning note inside every card, and let people know how you feel about them.

Listening to- Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer

Drinking- a nice hot Mocha

Asking For Help?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I have always lived by the ideal, that if you need help you ask for it. If you are struggling with something, go and ask advice off someone you know that has had similar experiences to yourself. Get thoughts and opinions, to help back up what you think, and to help get you get out of whatever funk you are in.

But I do have a problem. And it comes into play, when people ask ME for help. As soon as I feel someone looking to me for guidance, I get nervous, my brain panics and scrolls through 100 thoughts in a minutes. And yet, I don’t know how to react. It is the one thing I go ‘rabbit in the headlights’ over. Since my stance on sharing thoughts, it seems a little strange that I can over-react to what is sometimes a straight-forward situation. But I do.

Whether it is asking for directions (something I suck at, avoid asking me this AT ALL) or advice on general, I panic. I try to be objective, and give useful advice, but I get a bit iffy when I know that information is not what that person wants to hear. It mostly happens when someone is being treated like shit by their partner, and I try to speak my mind, but don’t want to hurt the person. Love is blind, and it also takes away all common sense as well, it seems.

So I struggle over the words, mostly because I have to figure out how to say things. I am a fan of the ‘positive sandwich’, where I say something nice, then nasty and finish with something nice. It seems to not make me feel so vicious.  In theory anyway. But after I give out my comments, I then think that if I had said the negative on it’s own, would it have made a bigger statement? Would the message have hit home better? Sure it would hurt, but sometimes the most beneficial things in the long term, do involve some pain.

I mean, I would hope people would be honest enough with me. Life sucks, but it would suck even more if every person was sheltered from the truth. What do you think? How do you deal with giving or receiving advice?

Listening to- Rancid- Ruby Soho

Thinking- Xbox update? Go and hurry up please.

 

‘Team’ work

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I always thought there was.

I am currently taking part in 3 different projects, where in taking part in a team was essential. Because I have not organised any of these projects, there are obviously people taking part that I don’t know. Something I am fine with. I like getting the opertunity to meet new people, and get to know them. To be honest, it is one of the wonders of the internet. It brings people together.

The issue is, when you get involved in some kind of group project, you have to appreciate other people’s opinions and learn to work together. But there is always something that gets in the way. Usually it involves people trying to force their point of view across. I am a compromising person,  but it gets to the point where rather than the group being a collaboration, someone wants to be boss.

Usually ideas are fine, but it is when these ideas transform into changes. Changes that were never mentioned previously before the project started, but have suddenly became the main agenda, and causes a rift between the team members. People feel a bit taken-aback by how the original plan seems to be changing, that things are being taken over. They feel threatened, because this is no longer a bit of fun. Changes are ‘proposed’ and people feel out of place. Something that has started as a friendly project to bring people together, has become formal. As if it is a competition to push the project quicker than all the team members are ready for.

And if you feel it is like someone is making a change, and rushing ahead, is it right to put your feet down? Surely, that is why things are discussed. So that people can talk about things. And if someone is harsh, and gets a harsh reaction, who is in the wrong? Is anyone? As long as they can understand each others point of view, should there be any animosity? To make a change to original plans, all team members should be agreed on a particular idea.  And if someone percieves your idea as wrong, don’t run off scared when someone does oppose it. It’s give and take.

—

And that’s off my chest. 🙂 I always seem to encounter the same issues when I work in groups. Maybe I am just not fit for working in a team. -.- Has anyone encountered any issues when working with other people? What would be your advice on dealing with it?

 

Very Boring

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Do I seem interesting?

With the immense time I put in to being an internet addict, probably not. Well, a little lie there, I actually find myself very interesting. I love my patterns of reading, blogging and TV. I say TV, because now my Sky+ is working properly mixed with Sky working on Xbox again, I have started watching a lot of TV. Most of it is The Gilmore Girls, but still, good quality, healthy TV.

The TV shows I like have to have good dialog and well written and developed characters. I like the fact that you can judge a character, because you have come to know their personality. I think it comes from a life a bookworm, where I did nothing but read for days on end. Not much has changed really, accept now, I tend to use writing to express myself more. It seems rather logical putting my loves for reading and writing together, but it didn’t happen that naturally. I liked to do things on my own, and write because I wanted to. When school became about essays and exams, it stopped being about writing for fun. It started to have a purpose. A purpose which was that I was writing for a meaningless grade.

That sounds bad. Grades aren’t meaningless. But I put a lot of love into what I wrote, and I didn’t like that it was graded and treating like a piece of crap, where all the feeling was sucked out of any piece, just so that the flaws (mostly in grammar) could be picked at. It was a bit of a change in things. Writing at school, became less a labour of love, and more a dementor. (5 points for HP reference.) And it made me think, ‘why’. Why did I have to put so much of ‘me’ into things, just for it to be torn to shreds because of my technical ability.

Through writing on my own, on blogs, etc, I have bettered myself in my grammar. I have become a better writer, but that is through reading a lot of novels, and writing a lot of pieces on other sites. Writing blogs has helped me a lot, in being an aide to help me find the words I need to express myself. The fact that I can put my thoughts across, and do it in such a way (I hope) people can pick up on what I am like, and how I feel. And that is a spiritual thing. The fact that you can connect to so many people, where age and country bare no significance.

Some say I am boring, and lead a boring life. I ask them, what do you do that gives you passion? What do you do, that makes you happy to be alive? What do you do to communicate with like-minded individuals? The internet helps me achieve all that and more, people only mock because they don’t know how to do what you do.

Just To Save A Life

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

So yesterday, if you follow me on any social networking site at all, you’d have heard that I saw a cat get knocked down yesterday. I carried it off the road, onto the grass, tried to make it comfortable and phoned the SSPCA (Scottish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals). The poor cat was dying as soon as it was hit by the car, as his head bore the brunt. As an animal lover, I was devastated, but acted automatically to make sure the cat wasn’t hit again.The cat was taken away by an SSPCA warden, at which point he was dead. Nothing could be done for the cat, and thankfully he seemed to die relatively quickly.

But what bothers me, is that as well as me, and the poor woman who hit the cat (she came back to scene), 5 other people were walking past, and none of them even looked. It was like they ignored it. Surely, a person who is nice, would at least make another creature comfortable if it was in pain. Or maybe, that’s just me. I was crying out loud, and the pool of blood on the road was evident of an accident. But people just walked past, after glancing at me and the cat, and then at the road. I would have wanted someone to sit with my cat, so that’s what I did.

I had a think about it afterwards, about how people reacted to the situation. Which if you witness, is the worst thing ever. But even to see someone in distress, and crying openly, I would stop and see if they were ok. A lady who saw the accident from my work came out, as did a girl I work with. But everyone else just ignored it. I was about 7 feet away from a bus stop, and the guy waited for his bus and watched me trying to keep the cat breathing. I felt a bit strange at that. It was like he didn’t want to be involved.

What if it was a person, or if the car had crashed, would he have helped then? I don’t think he would have. I don’t think a lot of people would have. To me it is nature, because I would always expect someone to act like that to help me. But what if they don’t? What if people just watch, like they did with the cat? I have seen it where people have fallen and hurt themselves, and it is the same, people stand and watch as one person tries to help.

As a person who values all living life in the same light, despite what type of creature it is, I struggle to understand the concept, of people not helping. I would always expect someone to help me, or any of my family or friends, and I wouldn’t dare expect that, if I wouldn’t do the same for someone else. This is also the same for animals, as I didn’t have the heart to leave that little kitten in the road to be run over by other cars. I would hope that other people would do the same. But, if I wasn’t there, then I think the cat would have lay on the road, untill the council would scrape the remains off the road the following day. If you have a pet, or know anyone who has one, you would want it to die as comfortable as possible.

If you can reason letting one animal suffer without aid, what’s saying you would not use the same excuses if it were a person? Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see why there would be a difference, and why you wouldn’t help any creature that was in pain?

Illusions of Grandeur

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I don’t have an issue with people who have self-belief, I mean, it is that belief that helps a person achieve. So to achieve something, you need to have a little bit of confidence about yourself. I have an issue with people who pull others down, to make themselves look better.

And it happens everywhere. Rather than giving someone kudos for achieving what they want, people feel the need to bring the person down by demeaning themselves to make the achievement seem less worthy. It is just a person’s need to feel superior. It is strange, because most of the time people do it without thinking. Like, it is some natural instinct. Which is not too hard to imagine, when you think that other animals try to make others look weaker, so they can get a mate, etc.  Which makes you wonder, how much of this behaviour is us acting natural.

So whilst I frown about the behaviour of a ‘put-down’, I can only really disagree with people who do it on purpose. Like, they want to make that person miserable. That is something I don’t understand, why would it make someone feel better, to make another person sad? Surely I can’t be the only person who feels like this? I mean, I don’t see where a person can draw the line. If you attack someone because they annoy you for being happy, and it makes you better to change their mood, what are you next going to do to make you feel better? Is making someone sad going to become like a thrill to you? What are you going to stop at to get that thrill?

To be honest, everyone is the same. People have good things happen and bad things. It doesn’t mean you should avenge people who have good things happen to them. Because that feeling of achievement you may get from ‘knocking someone down a peg or two’, will only be short lived, and you will hurt someone else.

So if you catch yourself trying to kill someone’s good time, stop. Because if there is one thing the world doesn’t need is someone trying to spread more negativity.

Read Between The Lines.

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

This is something that doesn’t happen very often. The worlds of Vlog and Blog unite and kind of cross-reference each other. Yes, I shot a video a few days ago about people writing in ‘text speak’ and due to me just editing said video, I decided it is too important a topic for me not to mention it here.

I do talk about writing a lot, because it is something I am really passionate about, and I feel that everyone should make effort in the way that they present what they say, because it says so much about you. As I talk about this with other people, I do discover that this is just personal opinion, and most people don’t seem to care what a person thinks of them, because of their writing ‘style’. But, maybe because I spend a lot of my time writing, I do tend to look between the lines a little. Sorry for the pun.

The thing is, if you know how to write properly, and can at least attempt to spell words right, why on earth would you purposefully write badly? Is it because it is some new young thing, that I have missed out on? I think it is. It started of with text messages. Where you could only fit so many characters into a message, so people started shortening words. The easiest way to shorten words, with them still being semi-legible, is to remove vowels. Which irritated me then, and it was not a thing I did. As more and more people started to use the internet to do things, this manner of miss-spelling found its way onto other platforms. And on these other platforms, more people can see how you write in private. Well, except it isn’t really in private anymore. This is where the people pre-Facebook and people post-Facebook tend to differ. Before Social Networking took over the internet, the main sites used by people, where blog sites and forums. Now, on theses sites, a person had to be able to express themselves properly, because most were there to share opinions, and get to know people. When Social Networking came along, particularly Facebook, it changed things. People came online to talk to people they would have texted. People that they already knew. So the mentality of text messaging moved online.

I know I said that the main reason for typing in ‘text speak’ was to make messages shorter, but ease was also a big factor. Why type in 6 letters, when you can type in 3? That is laziness. This is the generation of people who have to work so much harder to get a job. How can they be expected to work well, if they can’t even muster up the energy to type up a work on their keyboard. And then, you discover that it isn’t just on computers and phones ‘text speak’ is used, and that kids are handing in school reports in this poor state.

I think kids like wasting their education and making themselves look stupid because they have no pride in education. To them, it is something they are forced to go to everyday. Although most of them will go onto some form of higher education, they won’t take pride in what they are learning, and they think of it as some kind of chore.  But in some countries, countries which are stricken with the harshest poverty we can imagine, education is a gift. Education is not everything every child gets, so those who do get it are so proud. Education to means everything to some children in Africa, who may walk for 3 hours to get to school. Just so that they can learn how to read and write, to earn money to help their family. How many UK kids would do that. Those who do have pride in their education, are often bullied by the stupid masses.

Seems harsh, but it’s true. I guess, a lot of people won’t realise what they had, until it’s gone. I know I didn’t. I probably didn’t study and work as hard as I should have. But writing is one thing that I have always enjoyed, be it writing an essay or reading a book. To me, I always felt that having good writing ability equalled intelligence. I know now, that other things make a person intelligent, but proper grammar is still considered a desirable quality. It was always said that a person’s shoes, show a lot about them. Well, I feel that the way a person writes, says a lot about them, A lot more than the words that they have written.

———

I know that I am not the perfect writer. That is not the point I am making, the point is about the lack of effort people make. And yes, I do feel that if you don’t make any effort with writing, you are dubbing yourself an idiot. It is better getting spelling and grammar wrong, but trying, rather than not trying at all.

History: A Person’s Duty To Know

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am of the belief that people should go to the effort to understand history of the world, be it from a TV programme or books. It helps a person appreciate where they have come from, and the life that they live. Because without the people before us, the world would be different. And I think that everyone should learn how we got to this stage in civilisation. It really does bring about a perspective on what ever problems a person feels they have, when they watch how difficult people before us had things.

The reason this topic has come into my mind, is because I have been watching programmes on the Berlin Wall. Something which was almost used like a weapon in the Cold War. It is astonishing to think that a city could be split in two, and then a massive wall built around one of the halves. Families were split up, and hundreds of people were killed trying to breach the wall. And what is even more astonishing, is that this wasn’t that long ago. The wall was built in 1961, and started to come down in 1989. Can you imagine being separated from people you love for that long. Berlin has been a united city for only 22 years.

I don’t know about anyone else, but that makes me feel so privileged, and actually makes me feel guilty. People died so that we can experience the freedoms we enjoy so readily. And I feel, that people should at least, learn about such events, to learn where our freedoms have come from. And it does make you feel grateful for what you have in your life.

It doesn’t cost anything to learn, and people should employ the resources we have, to try and learn something everyday.

Anarchy Camp!

~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

What is anarchy?

Would an anarchist society work?

Anarchy is really living a life without rules. It’s about not answering to anyone, other than yourself. So if you lived in an anarchist society, you would be forced to be self-sufficent. You wouldn’t be able to scrounge of the government, because there wouldn’t be one. If you wanted something, you’d have to go out an get it.

This, as an idealism, sounds really positive, something that would encourage people to take responsibility for themselves, and not blame their worthless existance on those around them. But it would also mean no order. So whilst you will have people who would go and work for what they want, you would also have people who will not work, and just steal what others have worked for. This would then lead the ‘victim’ to look to punish the person who profited from their hard work. And this…is order. Something that true anarchism is against.

So it’s hard to see how an anarchist society would work, as people automatically will try and establish some kind of order to the chaos, therefore taking away from the level of chaos. It is something that makes people feel safe. It’s similar to the whole ‘knowledge is power’ mantra. If you know how a particular person (or group of people) is supposed to act, then it is settling, makes a person feel better. It’s like we are built in a way, that if we are aware of what is going on in the world, we will live happier in our own lives.

So whilst anarchism comes across as a nice idea, we will get to a point where we will crave the routine and the structure organised society brings. It would turn into a case of ‘the grass is greener on the other side’. Again, something which is in our nature. As people, we are constantly looking for something that works best for us, and like to think that if things did change, what would we get out of it. Everything we do, it comes down to how it would effect our lives, because that is all we know. Our own lives.

Now, I have been a part of the Scottish punk rock scene for the last 4/5 years of my life. Whilst it is centred around music, there are always going to be the fact that much of the roots of punk are based in the idea of anarchy. The degree in which people employ anarchy and punk in their lives varies, with some people spending their lives unemployed because they don’t want to conform. Others, like me, work a steady job, but try to live their life the way they want to, and fight for what they believe in. What ever part of the punk spectrum people fall into, there is no way around the fact even being unemployed is filling out a role in society.

Is the whole ‘I am unemployed because I’m an anarchist’ idea as flawed as I think it is? Most people who are unemployed get money from some kind of benefits, provided by the state. The state, get the money for these benefits from those who work and pay taxes. You form part of a system, something that anarchists are against. So unless you live off no money, don’t purchase anything at all (especially not those new Dr Martins you have there) and contribute sweet F.A. to the world around you, then NO! You are not a true anarchist.

Me, you, your neighbour? We are all part of something bigger than us, somthing that goes beyond modern society, back to our traits as pack animals. You can’t just opt out of that, because as a human, you need people around you. Contributing something, no matter how unimportant, will always make you feel distinguished because it is part of our psychology.

I have barely touched anything on this topic, and I really could go on more. I will possibly post more, but the whole ‘anarchy’ thing has been running through my head all day.