Taking Time Out

It is important, that in this world that doesn’t seem to stop, that you take time for yourself. Time away from your computer. Time away from work. Time away from the routine that can grate on your nerves. It feels, since lockdown happened last year, that everything feels so much more intense. People are angry, as normality appears to be keeping socially distant from us. Folk are very intolerant to views that are not their own, and as a result, give out underserved abuse.

So, I had 2 weeks booked off work. A holiday which was supposed to be spent in Cyprus, with my family. But, was cancelled, like everything else, due to Coronavirus. I kept the time off booked, because I still needed to use those holidays. So, I didn’t plan anything. I was worried, as when my brain senses no plans, it seems to go into over drive, and my mental health is atrocious.

My main focus was to just relax. Take joy in watching tv, or going for a walk. Not to have a reason for anything. Previously, I would say I wanted to read so many books, create a certain number of artworks, and lose so much weight. This has ended up with my going back to work more stressed, than I was before. Which kind of defies the point of being off work in the first place.

So, I worked hard at doing nothing. I ordered too many take aways, drank too much alcohol, and got up around noon. It was good. Maybe not the healthiest for my body, but for the first time in a long time, my mind was able to recharge. For the first time, in a long time, I feel light. I feel so super relaxed. And ready to go back to work, tomorrow.

Take a Break

I am currently working my way back home to Scotland, after being away in the sunny climates of Cyprus for a week. I don’t usually do a holiday at this time of year, as it is normally time for me to buckle down at work for the busiest time of the year. But Scotland’s national football (soccer) team were playing there, so me and my friend took the chance to get some winter sun.

There has been a lot of things in my life that have been stressing me out recently. It is very easy for stuff to stress me out, the anxiety I suffer from has the habit of blowing things out of proportion. And instead of wallowing, I am trying to focus on the ‘good stuff’ to get me through the harder times. Whether it’s gigs, holidays or a new movie coming out, it is nice to look forward to something.

This holiday, could not have come at a better time. It was nice to get away to the sun, blue skies and fun. Scotland away games attract the Tartan Army, a name given to the Scotland fans who support their side through thick and thin. It is always so much fun when everyone gets together, and the good thing is, that everyone is so friendly and accepting. And when you start going to a few away games, you start to become friends with people, and the trip becomes a meet-up. Barbecues, alcohol and music, makes a great trip.

Cyprus was a beautiful country. We stayed in Pathos, which is at the bottom of the small island. The thing I like about Cyprus is that there is a lot of historical monuments, throughout the country, and everything seems built around them. For example, 5 star resort, Alexander The Great, has historic tombs, fenced off throughout the property. I suppose it is nice to seem them conserving some history, even if I feel they shouldn’t really build on something that is significant. The UK has a habit of knocking things down, and then going ‘whoops, that was important’ .

What was a shock was coming from 26 degree days, to minus 1, when we landed in Luton last night. I almost climbed back in the plane and wanted to go back. But, for me to do the good stuff, I also need to work. So home tonight, and back to work tomorrow. Hopefully feeling as refreshed as I feel right now. I doubt it.

Escaping the Crazy

I like to plan events and holidays throughout my year. Something to act like a target, something to aim for, when things get a bit hard. It can be trips to the cinema, gigs, shopping in another city or a holiday. In these modern days, where it becomes increasingly more difficult to disconnect from stress factors, it is good to set aside time to step away from daily life. To give yourself things to look forward to.

Last week I was on holiday to Rimini in Italy, with Tartan Army friends as Scotland was playing San Marino, which was nearby. I like to visit countries that I haven’t visited before. I think that is one of the best things about living so close to so many other countries, as a part of Europe (ignoring Brexit). It has always amazed me, that so many countries in such sort proximity can have so many cultural differences. Especially when you take in to account how big countries like Russia and USA are. So, I like to visit as many countries as I can, whilst I am able to.

I think that it is important to take time outwith your normal life, especially if that life causes you stress. And sometimes, simply staying at home doesn’t seem enough. With the constant barrage of information, simply going home after work is enough to disconnect a person from what is going on around them. So, sometimes it is good to go somewhere different. Somewhere fresh. Somewhere where your mind can relax.

Coming back to reality, can be a headache, though.

Holiday is over

I have been pretty quiet on here for the best part of a month. This was a break I felt that I needed. Sometimes, it can be very easy to be pulled into what is online, very deep. I think social media is a lot worse than sites like wordpress, but the attachment is there. Everything is always updating and switched on, and as a person whose mental switch is kind of half on/half off most the time, it can be extremely draining.

Liberty Bridge, Budapest, Hungary

In me and my friend booked a holiday to Budapest, in Hungary. We go away to meet Scotland fans once a year, or so. It was a friendly, so there wasn’t as much fans as there usually was. But it was just what I needed. I went away for a week, but was off work for two. I went back to work last week, and decided to go back into things in a slow manner.

So, today, after much delay, I opened up the computer and did what I needed to do. The biggest thing was studying, although the course started back last week, I had been feeling a bit hesitant about going on. I think the biggest reason is that the start of the unit is focused on binary conversions and scientific theory, which honestly is pickling my brain. I do get it, eventually, but it is hard work. Especially for someone who hasn’t really done maths since High School. Hopefully I get used to it.

Sometimes, I think the worst thing about taking time off from anything, is having to get back to business again. I like being busy, but sometimes it is good to take time off.

T’was The Season

Christmas time is a great time of the year. It is that one time of the year, where people can spend time with their loved ones, and where thanks is given to those who support us. It is still the one period of the year, where everyone get’s some time off work. It is nice to see that a lot of non-essential businesses closed, as everyone needs a time to cool down and relax.

The only problem is, that I started planning for Christmas months in advance, usually by making lists for what I want to gift people, but I don’t actually do anything about it till the last minute. Once again, I ended up running around town on Christmas Eve, getting presents and the like. Because I know what I am getting people, it is fairly easy to get in the shops I need to, and then leave.I find it best, as that way I don’t have to deal with too bad crowds, as I am ready for home before midday.

Christmas day is classed as that one day where I eat too much, and watch rubbish on TV, and this year was no exception. When you work hard all year, it is nice to just kick back with family. And to me, that is what the period is about. Yes, presents are nice, but it’s about showing your thanks and chilling out.

You will notice, that ‘blogmas’ fell apart pretty quick, as expected. But December is the one month where time seems to just disappear. One day it was the start of the month, and it felt like it was Christmas day within a blink of an eye. Which is scary. They say that time going fast is a sign of getting older, which I am not particularly keen to think about.

But in a few days, we say goodbye to 2017, and start afresh with 2018. And I feel genuine excitement.

Feeling Festive

It is that time of the year where we celebrate Christmas. Shops are busy, twinkly lights are everywhere, and everything just feels rather happy. Which is always nice.
But what does Christmas mean to me? 
I’m not particularly religious, although I grew up with Sunday Schools and the annual nativity. This causes issues with a few folk I know, why celebrate Christmas when you don’t follow the bible. Well, considering it is believed that Jesus was born in spring and not December 25th, that mutes that point. It appears that Christianity adopted the winter date because of a popular Pagan celebration, which was put in place by the Romans.
Not that it matters.
Christmas to me is about family. It is a celebration before the start of a new year, where we can show those around us, we are thinking of them. And that’s it. 
Obviously other people hold other meanings in the holiday, and that’s fine. Everyone is allowed to find a meaning that matters to them in anything. And that fact shouldn’t matter to anyone else. Let everyone celebrate moments that mean something to them, cause life is to short not to.

Holiday yet?

I can always tell when I have time off work coming off. And it isn’t just the feeling that I will be able to do what I want for a week or so. No! I know that I have a holiday coming up because I am so tetchy about EVERYTHING. There is nothing right now that won’t make me angry or upset.

I don’t know why I get like this. It may be because I can sense this time off work,  but it isn’t here yet, which makes work unbearable. And then I just start to find other things unbearable too. The thing is, most of these annoyances aren’t going to vanish just because I am not attending work. The seagulls are going to angrily squawk and swoop every time I unknowlingly walk by a nest, TV is still going to be crap, and I am still going to be angry that I ate that packet of crisps instead of the apple. It’s not even like these things are anything that I should be letting effect me so much, they are all minor wee annoyances. It’s just sometimes, all those wee annoyances seem to pile up to make something bigger. Or maybe it’s just I have a short fuse right now.

At least I only have a few days and then freedom. Hopeful some time to clear out my personal space and get to relax my brain a little. That is certainly required right now. Some time out is always a good thing, because life can get a bit heavy sometimes.

Merry Christmas

So everything has calmed down and the big meal has been devoured down to the last Brussel sprout. Dad is reading, Mum is watching Doctor Who, brother is sleeping and sister is playing with her new phone. To me, it is the most reflective part of the day, where I feel lucky to have crossed people’s mind enough that they send me a message of some sort.

It makes me feel like I am not as alone, as my thoughts lead me to believe I am. And this, isn’t a bad thing to feel. Christmas is about family, and being thankful for those who you are blessed to spend their your time around. No matter what this, now commercialised, holiday means these days, it’s roots are based in Christianity, and its various offshoots. Religion is where much of society used to get its morality from.

Now, I don’t like to believe in one God over another, I have no inclination to blindly follow one specific faith, but I can see what appeals to it.

Religion is something which gives people hope and helps them cope in life. If some words, a story, can help people better themselves and treat one another nicer, how can it be a bad thing? Where it becomes negative, when people use these stories as an excuse to treat others poorly. And honestly, no religion, not even Satanism, tells you to hate those who are different to you. People hate people, no book gets you to hate. People think if they can excuse what they do, then they can pretend they are good people.

I think that religion offers guidelines for people, and it shouldn’t be gospel, pardon the pun. I mean Noah and the Ark was one of my favourite stories as a kid, alongside The BFG. Both the stories show kindness, and are good for kids to read. Take on face value, there is no harm in stories and appreciating them, but using them as weapons is disgusting, and shows no understanding of what these religions actually stand for.

Whatever it is you celebrate, hoping all readers and their famillies have a good day. XOX

Holiday Work?

So I’m off college for two weeks. 🙂 And I have decided ro do a lot of work, to catch up on everything.

So first proper day of holiday and I wake up at midday. Which leads to me lounging around and doing nothing till I venture out for work later on. So, kind of not productive, when you consider other than making a toasted cheese sandwich, this blog is the most productive I have been all day. lol

Oh well. I’m going to try and get some stuff tonight when I come home from work. Gonna put on the Watchmen DVD, and just relax, and play catch up on everything. 🙂 Well, I am going to sit and get my thumbnails sorted for my graded Unit. I got a C last year for my Graded Unit, so my aim is to blow that result out the water this year. So far, the project is a lot cleaner and a lot more detailed, I just hope I can keep that up 😕

I suppose it was my birthday weekend, so I’m trying not to be so harsh on myself, as that usually brings what little motivation I have to a stop. So I’m trying to not stress out about it. I am going to try and sort my room out tomorrow, because it is covered in sketchbooks, clothes and empty fag packets.

I know, its such a sexy image 😛