Tag: family

Bullies Never Prosper

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Everyone encounters someone who tries to beat them down. It is something that nobody should ever have to experience. That feeling that you are not worthy of any kind of affection because you have no self-confidence left. The feeling when you don’t want to go to work, school or even home, because you are so scared of what could happen. The worst part is, that most people that you speak to, have had a problem with a bully at some point.

I had some issues when I was at school. Petty name calling and being made fun of. Being short and on the tubby side, I was an easy target. Most of the people who tried to pick on me weren’t people I wanted to be friends with, so I just ignored them. It seemed so much easier to do back when I was younger. As I became a teenager in High School, the words became more hurtful. I never figured out if it was really the words that changed, or just that they were chipping away at me, without me really knowing. 

Many stories you hear of bullying, give you the impresson that things get better once you leave school. It didn’t for me. By the end of High School I had lost a lot of my self-confidence and I became a lot quieter. I started hating myself because I was fat and couldn’t seem to do anything to lose it. Not that I had the energy to try. Besides, when people saw me out running or walking, some would shout names. Names that hurt me. Names that made me want to sit at home and gorge on food. And it made me hate myself more.

I wish that I could say that a lot has changed over the years. Most of the people that made me hate myself have been cut out of my life now. I say most because some people I can’t cut out. Some people are a part of my life, whether I want them to be or not. Where I get demeaned for the smallest thing, but am still expected to act as if I owe them something. And that is hard. How can you move past something when you don’t get the time and distance to heal? So I continue to suck it up. Unable to move past the belief that I have recovered all this abuse because I am a bad person. 

And that’s what bullying does. It skews everything that you thought you knew. And despite never doing anything wrong, you blame yourself because of the actions of others. And the funniest thing is that the bullies never see the damage they cause. They will never see the self-hatred that was started by their ‘petty taunts’. But that’s why those of us that have been bullied need to speak up. People need to support one another. 

Love What You Have

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

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The last week has lead to people looking around in shock after the terrible events in Connecticut. There is very little that people feel like they can do. All they can do is try to think about how they’d feel. You look at your family and friends, and feel at a loss at what you would do if you were caught up in a bad situation like that.

My cat, Billy, (pictured above) is a suck-up of a lil’ kitty. Well, he is when he wants something. But when I feel a bit low, he comes up for a cuddle, and pesters me. It’s cute. He helps me feel a little valued. When lost or confused about something, a lot of people turn to their pets.

I think that when we such despicable acts of evil, the love that we see in our pets can be comforting. With fresh food every day and a scratch on the belly, a cat or dog will be your best friend. And being able to see that there is good in the world, could help people make sense of the hatred and despair they see.

This is the nonsensical way I think about things. Well, it makes sense to me.

Posi-Day 3: Gladerday

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

The last 24 hours have seen me have to actually try with the positivity levels. And, for it being only a few days into this PMA thing, I feel like I coped quite well.

Last night I saw people being nasty about other people, and doing things they consider to be a waste of time. And it seemed like everyone I came into contact with was hell bent on moaning about something. Now, I am not against free-speech, and people should be able to express what they are feeling, so that their angst doesn’t built into something unhealthy. But, it seems people look on things in ways so they are focusing on the failures, rather than the whole ‘silver lining’ aspect.

When you are trying to force yourself away from such thinking, it is a moment when you want to bash your head with a wall, or something equally hard. It is frustrating. And I never realised how negative people were until I started trying to think another way, and I think people would be surprised.

Anyways, I tried to put out reasons why peoples gripes were good, and not as bad as they thought, but I don’t think I was listened to. But, along with PMA, I am trying to not become overly involved with things I can directly do anything about. So I have been saying my part, and then backing away without getting to involved.

So far its working ok, but I have to keep on catching myself before I do say anything bad. It’s a lot of effort, which is why I don’t think most people just don’t bother changing their attitude at all.

Happy New Year!

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

A rather delayed new year bloggery postings, mostly due to the fact that I thought I had posted earlier. *facepalm*

I guess this time of the year is celebrated because it is traditionally when you look forward, to speak of hopes and dreams you want to achieve within the next 12 months. Although to be honest, why should we only do this on the 1st of January, surely this should be something that every person does on a daily basis.

I guess, thinking about it, you need to be in the right state of mind to be ready to deal with the future on a regular basis, as stupid as that sounds. It is a lot easier for a person to deal with something that has already passed by, that way you can critique to the point that you hate your own existence. How is it possible that purposely berating our own actions, becomes something that comes easily. That shouldn’t make sense.

It is almost like a case of burying one’s head beneath the sand. It’s refusal to accept that we are accountable for how our own life pans out. So rather than confronting the unknown, most people dwell on what has already happened, blaming what’s already happened for their current stance in life. But they don’t see, if they look forward, on more than one yearly occasion, then they would find that their life would become more manageable. But it is hard for someone to look ahead, if they feel they have already had a rather shit time of it. It’s almost like, people get too scared to look ahead, in case life becomes worse than it already is. Truth be told, if you are dwelling on the bad things, life certainly isn’t going to get any better.

Anyway, I guess I should speak of what my hopes are for the next year of my life, in a rather clichéd fashion. Well, I am going to try to not be too specific here, because I am rubbish at sticking to things, which would render this whole thing pointless. I suppose, the only thing I really would like, is to show those around me how grateful I am for them being in my life. That includes everyone I know, be in online or IRL, because I have had a few struggles a LOT of people have helped me out with things. I just want to say THANK YOU, and for them to really feel it.