Tag: career

Plotting A Path

~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

Further education has been a thing I have struggled with, over the years. I have always envisioned a life for myself higher up than the entry level where I find myself permanently situated. It is frustrating, but, I have to keep plodding on. It doesn’t feel like there is any other option, if I were to be completely honest with you.

When I was younger, I always wanted to be a Veterinary Surgeon. When it became clear that I wasn’t going to get grades that would allow that to happen, I leaned towards Veterinary Nursing instead. Fantastic. Except, when I was staying in Glasgow, to access the Vet School, I found myself really suffering under poor mental health. I didn’t fit in with anyone, and I felt pretty lonely. I remember being shouted at by one of the lecturers because I was helping look after a dog in the hospital, and I couldn’t remember something she asked me. It was in front of so many people, and I was degraded. I think I was 19 at this time, and it just made everything worse. With my mental health already being awful, I then felt I couldn’t do anything right. It became such a distraction, I failed the end of year exam. I went to work in a local vet practice, and the guys there helped me build a new portfolio to submit and helped me study to resit my exam. Unfortunately, my confidence was already rock bottom, so I failed again. At this point, I couldn’t afford the money to re-register as a student vet nurse, to re-submit another portfolio, and sit another test. I was so stressed, I got a job at Greggs and let it all go.

Greggs was not an enjoyable experience, the manager was awful. She was a bit of a bully, and she had a tendancy of firing people who didn’t agree with her. You cleaned a counter wrong, you were written up. It was horrible, so I decided to find a way out of there. I applied to Lauder College (now Fife College), to do art and design. I loved art, and creating things, so maybe I could do this. So I left Greggs, got a part time job in a call centre whilst I was in college. I made so many friends at college, and it was an enjoyable experience. The only problem was I was at college for 8.30am, and would go straight to work after, by the time I was home it was often past midnight. I’d sit up to the early hours doing coursework, going to bed at 3 am, just to do it all again the next day. No surprise, my mental health took a major dip again, and I failed to keep up with the workload from the college. So I ended up dropping out and working at the call centre full-time. It was a horrible job.

I eventually ended up in the warehouse job, where I am currently working. I have been trying to get an IT degree through the Open University. My mental and physical health problems have made any progress slow, but I am still slowly making progress. I think. The problem is, that I have been in my current job for 10 years, and whilst, once upon a time, working hard would see natural progression up the corporate ladder, that is not the case anymore. There are so many people who have degrees these days, they come in at management level, even without experience. So, the only way I thought that I could fix that, was to get a degree myself. As said before, my health problems don’t make it particularly easy, nor does the fact that my doctor suspects I have ADHD, which would explain so much. I have had to pause my studies for a year, to try and help myself, and am trying to get back into things after the summer.

I have come to the conclusion, that as easy as it seems to be for some people, to pick a degree and simply do it. Things aren’t that easy for everyone. It might take multiple attempts to get to where we need to be, and it might never happen. I do like learning, I just need to find away that it works. There is a special type of uselessness that comes with feeling stuck in the same role for multiple years, especially when it seems like everyone around you are progressing. And, I need to find a way to get rid of that feeling. As well as the possibility that I worry that my work may no longer be around in the next 5 years, so I have to work hard and focus on next steps.

Doesn’t All Add Up

~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

Today I have been doing maths. It was never my favourite subject at school, I didn’t like it. Some stuff made sense, whilst others flew right over my head. And I never knew why. I was so frustrated.

I have returned to the ‘Land of Maths’ thanks to the course I am doing through the Open University. I am doing a degree in Computing and IT, to try and improve my career opportunities. Without a degree, it is very hard to step into a higher role at my work, or any other. So, I can do it part time, alongside my full-time job. It’s nice to have something to focus on. I did take a wee break, because my mental health was rubbish, but now I am back studying again.

Before I start my maths course, in October, I have a ‘refresher’ set of mini-courses to go through, to re-familiarise myself with things. It’s recommended to go through the pre-courses, to help give people an idea of what is coming up in the course. Part of me just wants to skip it, but it is always good to challenge yourself. And it is all for a better future, so it’ll be worth it.

I just wish it was English, instead.

Ran Out Of Qs

~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

In the UK, there has always been an abundance of magazine publications, all suited around whatever hobby or interest you could have. Model trains, cross stitching, running, photography, almost anything had a magazine. My big interest was always music. And, in the days before you had music recommendations at a click of a button on Spotify, you had music magazines, and the odd radio show.

From, when I started earning my own money, I always bought music magazines. It started off with Smash Hits, moved on to Kerrang, Rocksound, NME and Q. There then became more niche magazines, Big Cheese covered punkier stuff, then Metal Hammer got heavy metal. Magazines would often give away free tapes, then CDs, so you got a taste for the bands you were reading about. I always liked different music, so I would buy different magazines, to try and absorb as much information as possible. If you wanted to find out about music out with the Top 40, you had to work for it. Which is why magazines were so important to me when I was younger.

Unfortunately, more and more of the publications that I used to buy, are closing. With Q Magazine being the latest victim. After 34 years of publication, the magazine has published it’s final issue. And it is hard to imagine, in these days, where music seems instant, that a major way I discovered music seems to be dying away. There was a time, when pondering a career path when I was at school, that I thought about journalism, in particular, music journalism. I had never been the most accomplished writer, but I loved the idea about showing appreciation for something I loved. To shed light on bands and albums I loved. It sounded pretty magical.

These days, if you like a certain genre, or listen to certain bands, the music streaming service you listen to, will recommend new music. It’s seamless, and almost effortless to find something new. I liked reading about a band’s exploits, about their history, and understanding about the band members. I also loved reading reviews on gigs, especially if I was discovering a new band. It’s not the same anymore. Even pop music, there is no music on TV anymore. When I was younger there was Top Of The Pops, CD:UK, even Popworld. Shows that created a buzz, and added a bit of personality to the most generic bands.

I know things move on, but it makes me sad.

Reasons

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Why do people blog? I have explained many times on here, that I blog for personal reasons. I do it to sort out my mind, and help me feel confident about how I feel. And over the years, it has helped a lot with a lot of personal issues I have had, particularly with my depression. I felt that I couldn’t speak about anything, because it was a negative thing to impose on other people. So I blogged, where it was like speaking outloud, and it helped me. For many periods over the last several years, blogging has been the thing which held me together.

It is strange for me to see something, that I view so personally, seen as a career move for so many people. We live in an age where the Internet and content creation are becoming genuine career paths. There are books and magazines telling people how to start a blog and make it profitable. It paints a very simple picture, write about trendy things, get views, make money. But it isn’t that easy, particularly if you are blogging for the soul purpose of making money. If you don’t believe in what you are writing, you aren’t going to make a connection and you will get none of the precious views you seek.

I just don’t get it. This blog is more about documentation and aiding creativity more than anything else. And that’s the way I’ll always see it. It’s always nice if what I say connects with someone, but it doesn’t drive me. The feeling of achievement I have when I have got something off my mind, and into a blog post, is what drives me. It’s a good feeling, and I have to make the most of those. My brain likes to ignore the positivity, so if I find something that makes me feel good, I will keep at it.

Just Do It

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

A lot of people seem to believe that good things happen to those who wait. They pray for opportunities and constantly plan for a career that is just a pipe dream.

There is nothing wrong about dreaming for a better life. Hoping for
better can get you through a tough time. But remember if you want something you have to get the wheels in motion YOURSELF. There is no point saying you want to do something, if you are just waiting for things to happen without taking any steps yourself.

Do your self a favour and start making things happen. They more you do, the more things will change.

Workity-Work

~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

You don’t need to read very deep into this blog, to realise that I planned more for my life than working in a call centre. But, sometimes, what you need outweighs what you want. I still try and do graphics work every now and then, but it is hard to keep up momentum, when everyone seems to want things for nothing.

It is hard, but I keep at it. I try to keep myself going with being creative, be it writing, photography or drawing. Sometime’s it is easier to get motivated than others, but I just have to keep going, and hope that I will get somewhere at some point. But the joy I get from creating something, and knowing that someone may take something from what I create is something that is magical to me. It is that, which keeps me going. It makes working a normal job, bearable.

I have good news, in that from the 13th January, I will be working full time hours. It means more money, which will hopefully give me more means to be independant. I still live at home with my parents, because I am finding it hard to get an affordable place to rent (buying is out of the question). Hopefully having more money, will help me get into the position I need to be in to be able to afford getting a flat, even with a friend. It will be awesome. And hopefully, I will be able to buy more art materials and be able to start selling things again.

So 2012 is already looking like it is changing for the better.

I’ve Been Workin’

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

So been busy.

I’m at the point where I am half way through my website, which I am pretty pleased about. But I have been spending a lot of my holiday with friends and family, which is something I don’t often get a chance to do. But with me not going to college next year, I am aiming to use all my free time during the day to work on websites and other projects.

Due to my financal status, I am planning on using the next few years to do small scale work and get my business plan in gear. I hope that by the time I am in a better situation, I will be getting more work through the door. Because at the moment, it is hard getting enough work to properly start my business.

Luckily I still have the evening job, so that has made the situation of earning through my work, not quite so bad. And it is also allowing me to take opportunities, such as working towards blog sponsorship (which is a possibility) in the coming months. I am also in a position, where I am working towards showing in an exhibition next year, which would be awesome.

So things are moving, and the next year or so will be deciding the best way to move further. Exciting times in the life of Sue.