Computer Says No

I have spent the last 10 minutes getting my iPhone to charge using a cable with a loose connection. Again, I curse at technology as my phone dies, and I have to search around for another cable, of which I have came into ownership of a ton. And only about half of them actually work.

This hasn’t been my only issue with technology recently. I have had to use a lot of computers at work, which are shared. Like sometimes more than one account can be logged into the PC at a time. Which is handy when there is limited computers available, but not very good when you rely on the PC being fast. To do the job I do, I need multiple programmes open at once, and I must be able to jump between them all seemlessly. This does happen, when someone on another profile jams the print queue, and just logs out. And it happens a lot, and the only way to fix is to restart everything. Which takes way too long. 

So, to humour myself the other day whilst my PC was resetting, I thought of a few things that could be done whilst waiting for a work PC to load.

1) Have a cup of tea, even watching the kettle boil would be quicker than the PC. 

2) Do the Metro crossword. And that includes colouring in boxes so that my words fit. 

3) Annoy several colleagues by singing Christmas songs. 

4) Attend a First Aid incident. It’s okay, I am trained.

5) Go for a walk and see how other colleagues are doing. 

6) Sweep the floor and tidy up. At a push. 

7) Cry at the pile of work getting bigger, that you can do nothing about. 

8) Try to give ‘new starts’ directions, and confusing them when I say ‘right’ and point left.

9) Go to stores and refill all the paper and pen supplies.

10) Realise that I would be quicker doing everything manually.

Let It BeĀ 

Today I got really angry about something I had no control over. If things don’t ever go the way I plan, I get really irritable. I don’t like blaming other people for why things go wrong, when I can blame myself. Which sounds silly, but that is how my brain works. 

But… things need to change.

It is not good for a person to believe that, every success and failure in the world around them, is entirely their fault. But that’s what anxiety does to me. And the worst thing is, that like all mental health issues, there is no quick fix. You have to spend time ‘re-training’ yourself, to change how you think about things. And that can seem the impossible task.

Maybe, a good idea, is trying to relax a bit more. Make sure that everything I do is the best I can do. Whatever happens around me, doesn’t really matter. Not when noticing ‘that’ makes me so aggitated. I have to try and learn that what happens happens, I can only do what I can. And if what I do is the best I can achieve, then there is no need to be angry if things don’t work out. 

Deep breaths and visions of a calm blue ocean are required I think.