Tag: blog

Blog Your Feelings

~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

I have spoken to quite a few people about the subject of writing a blog. Many people seem to struggle with the concept of writing about personal thoughts on a public forum, when you can’t express it to people in real life. And when I think about that, it does sound fairly strange. But I do have personal experience on why keeping a blog can help a person.

I have been struggling with various things over the last few years, things that are integral to who I am. And I feel that using this blog as a ‘think space’ helps me try and organise my thoughts. And it also is good to look back on, and see any progress that I have made. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like much, but it does help. Particularly when I have a bad depression period, when I struggle to focus on anything other than my failures. It helps to see that sometimes there are better times, and that I can get through it. I find it reassuring.

When I first started blogging, several years ago, I read a lot of other blogs. Blogs which actually provided me with hope and thoughts that I wasn’t as different as I felt. And if you are having problems in life, I think it helps to know that other folk experience similar things to you. And by sharing my own stories, maybe it can help someone else. And I think, as people, that what most folk want to do. Help those who have experienced similar issues to ourselves. And as we search through life to become a better version of ourselves it’s only natural to want to document it.

Or that’s what I think, anyway.

Set Topic

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I have been on the internet a lot, just browsing various websites and blogs. It appears that there is this mass unappreciation of any audience on the internet. By tying a blog into a particular topic, you become part of a particular community, and you get more page views and subscribers as a result. If a particular movie or game gets a new release, and you frequently blog about it, you will get more views. And if you post frequently, you will get more visitors from being a part of that online community. This is something great, that communities and fandoms are helping to create and promote content amongst one another. You make friends on other websites, you get ‘shout outs’ and promotion to other people that share your interest.

And as a solo blogger, I look at these blogs in awe. I have random interests, that peak and wain every now and then, and what I post relates to that. I love writing what is on my mind, as I started blogging for me, and documenting my life. I really don’t want to heavily promote other people’s products, just because I have blocked myself into writing about certain things. I know, from my own experience, that I don’t have the momentum to stay on the same topic too long, as I have so many things rushing around in my brain. So it would be more likely if I had one thing to post about, that my blog would die. And that would be a very sad thing. To me.

I still get excited over every view my blog gets. That someone even thought to glance at what I have created. It may be one or two people, but it matters to me. Although, I did start this blog for myself, it is nice to think that someone likes what I write. Even if it is just one post. Maybe I like this style of blogging, because I don’t feel I am selling a product to someone. I mean, if I see a movie or hear an album I like, I may promote it, I just don’t feel I could do it constantly. And, call me crazy, but when a company starts giving you free products to review, it’s only so you can play sales person. There is no impartiality, which there needs to be in any review. Same when people get too involved with fan communities, you can pass the mark of being impartial, and it can impair judgement. It turns into how well you promote a thing, rather than appreciating that someone read what you created.

Those are just my thoughts, though.

Happy 5th birthday

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

3rd of May 2009 was the day I logged started an account on WordPress. A lot has happened in that 5 years and over 500 posts, and, in my usual form, I missed the actual day. So this is a belated celebration.

The original idea of this blog was to document my life as a graphic designer, something that kind of went a bit wrong. I still aspire to get paid for creating things one day, but if it ends up with being a hobby, I think I’m okay with it. I have also ended up loving writing a lot more than I did originally. I have documented a lot of my thoughts and feelings into posts, and as a result I have grown rather fond of this place.

I have been able to speak my mind, and say things in a way they matter to me. That is something that is rather liberating, and a luxury that not everyone can have. I am thankful to have a place where I can write my thoughts so freely. Blogging is something I’d advise every person to do, it’s a great way to release pressure.
It has helped me through a lot.

Gamer Fail

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

As you hopefully see, I posted a review for the movie Remembering Sunday earlier this week. This review thing was something I planned to do a while ago. Do game, movie and music reviews. Which sounds awesome, something a little different on this here blog. So far gaming is the biggest fail on the list. Why? Because for the amount of hours I spend playing games, I suck at them all. I never complete games, I usually get stuck at a stupidly early level and give up.

But that isn’t all. I refuse to spend absurd amounts of money on computer games, as they are awful expensive. And on top of that, it takes me so long to make any progress in games, I refuse to spend stupid money on one. Sometimes. I am guilty of trading in my old 3DS for a 3DS XL, because the XL felt better in my hands. Not so flimsy, if that makes sense. So that I feel was a valid reason for upgrading, particularly because I drop stuff A LOT, and the normal 3DS seemed very breakable. There is a joke being made by a friend, that if I am so nervous about a console with hinges, I should buy a 2DS.

I mostly play games on my iphone, 3DS and Xbox 360. So, the original plan was to download a game weekly, and review it on here. Except I have a habit of purchasing old games, and some new ones. For instance South Park: Stick of Truth(2014) is in my Xbox, Super Mario: Sticker Star (2012) is in my 3DS. I get stuck so easy, so it would maybe end up ‘this level was okay, till I couldn’t get such and such to open the next level’. Which is how it happens regularly. But the ‘bad gamer’ might become a thing, as it doesn’t promise anything, other than being bad at games. Bad at outdated games.

Maybe I’ll just go play old 90s Sonic and review that. I actually completed that game. 🙂

Pushing Forward

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am feeling awful inspired today. That may have to do with the fact that I have a ton of housework to do before I go back to work tomorrow. Doing things I need to do has never been my strong point. Rather than doing what actually needs to be done, I think up new things that excites me more, and do them instead. Hooray!

One of  the things I have motivated to do is argue with GIMP (free image editing software) enough to make a new banner for all of my social networks and things. I have been diving back into the internet a lot more recently, particularly YouTube. The YouTube community I have loved for the last 5-6 years has been rocked by lot of bad stuff over the last week or so. This is stopping a lot of creators from making content, as they become wary about their audience and who they befriend through it. It’s desperately sad, because the majority of people on YouTube, are perfectly normal people. And in a bid, to get back into trying to contribute to a community that I love, I decided to give my channel a reboot. My first video is below, please check it out. 🙂

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1kGwws4hDQ

I am planning on doing VEDA, Vlog Every Day in April, this year. Yes, I am being hopeful and going to vlog once a day. *cough* Seriously. At least I am hopeful. Ask me again how I feel after the first week of April. 🙂

*I am writing an entry on Consent which is to do with the Youtube/wrock situation. In the meantime, if you find yourself caught in any situation where manipulation of any kind is involved, please speak to someone. It is not okay for someone to control you AT ALL.

What Is Your Purpose?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Why do you do what you do?

Everyone has their own reasons for doing things. They have a way that they want to express themselves, and they use it. I say this because a taxi driver isn’t defined by driving taxi. Your job doesn’t define who you are as a person, it may not even define your social values that you hold. So how do you try and give yourself more value in the areas that matter to you?

I write. Or try to. I have always written out my feelings and thoughts, in a way that I found difficult to speak. Over the years, writing blogs like this has helped me try to get to grips with what is happening in my life and even the world. I have tried to organise my thoughts in a way that helps create purpose for me. If what I say makes sense to someone, and may help them with something, it feels great. It feels like I have achieved something.

But, I find other people define me as one of those weirdos who shares their whole life online. Although, I don’t actually talk about personal things. I maybe talk about feeling depressed, or stressing out about life, but details are missed out. I try to put in what I learn, or advice that I should try to remember, and it’s almost like I give myself a pep talk. But a lot of people don’t see that.

But as life changes, my needs change, as does where I try to find meaning. If I don’t write, and out something ‘out there’, I feel angsty. I feel like I need to post something. It has become something that helps me organise my thoughts and ideas, and to me that is important. It’s the feeling I get when I write, that gives me purpose. It’s hard to explain it to someone, but I feel this immense sense of achievement, although it seems nothing to most people. But that makes it all the more important to me, I don’t expect it to matter to anyone else in the same way.

10,000 Blog Views?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

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10,000 views for this blog. It may not seem very much to some, but it is a milestone that passed a few weeks ago. I have no idea how my nonsense managed to get that many views, especially when my own visits aren’t counted.

I have been through quite a journey over the last several years, and this blog has documented it. I maybe haven’t gone as far as I would have liked in my ‘career’, but I have learnt a lot about myself and who I am. And, I think that is the best thing to come out of this blog. That despite everything, I am proud of the person who I have become. I am thankful as I reminisce about periods of my life I didn’t appreciate because I was so self-obsessed and depressed (2 things that incidentally are very closely connected).

That is maybe why I am so overbearingly PMA right now. Most of my early 20s were filled with me wanting to kill myself, because I saw myself as a failure. I spent night, after night alone, and this ‘ lack of a life’ became the focus of EVERYTHING. And when you spend all your time thinking about something so negative, it does get you down. It was only when I started forcing myself to do things as small as going for walks, that I left behind my negative mindset. And it has changed my life.

So here I am sitting on my bed, blogging from my iPad (laptop charger is toast) and wondering about who reads my crazy ramblings. Whether I have influenced someone, or whether someone has found comfort in what I have written. These may seem like ‘lofty ambitions’, but it is the magic of words. How letters and words typed by someone you don’t know can help you through something. It’s really beautiful really, and I think every writer, be it blogger, journalist, novelist or anything, wants their words to connect with people. To find an audience, and to speak to them.

The fact that people even glance at what I have to say, gives me a sense of achievement. And I want to thank every person who has ever read my blog at all. Thank you for keeping my dreams alive. I really appreciate it.

Failure To Launch

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Well that went well, didn’t it?

I am struggling to find the time to write more regular, which actually depresses me a great deal. I love writing, and the fact that I am not getting the chance to do so, is rather depressing.

That is a bit of an idea how my life is at the moment. I have good intentions of changing things and keeping up new habits. But, I very rarely get past the ‘thinking’ stage. So, I am sitting at work, bored in my lunch hour, and I thought it would be a good chance to write a little. And when I am sitting here, typing into my computer, I can feel any stress melt away. Now, I know that I am not writing about anything specific, but the very motion is enough to relax me. The repeatitive nature of typing, and watching one’s thoughts appear into a screen before their eyes is something that I have always liked.

Which makes me sad, that I dont put aside more time for it. That my ‘frustration of the day’ could be aired in a blog post, sounds very appealing. The issue that I have, that I have mentioned before, is that to post about a lot of things, you need to have a thick skin. People on the internet don’t seem to have any idea that if they say something to a particular user, they are saying it to their computer screen, the nonsensical username. It is hard to remember that people don’t seem to make the connection between people and content online. Which is silly, really, but it is something that happens, I guess. Because there is zero confrontation involved, people tend to act harsher, so to gain themselves attention.

But, regardless what I tell myself other people think about content they find online, it still stings when someone attacks me. I am the kind of girl who tries to be nice to everyone (and fails, mostly, but my intentions are good). If I post something about a news story or Lady Gaga, it will never personally attack people, because I hate that kind of thing. I have had experience of internet hate, so why would I want to subject someone else to it (no matter their status). I think, rather than the negative comments willing me on to be better, it puts me off. It’s like, ‘why should I say anything else when I get shouted at for saying that’.

Maybe it’s a strange view to have, but I am, afterall, a very strange person.

Regular as Clockwork

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I have heard recently, that an active blog should be updated a couple of times a week. This doesn’t inundate readers with daily posts, but it let’s them see that you are still active. Okay, it was advice on Vlogging on YouTube, but I guess the same rules could apply to blogging.

Usually, if I go on a kick and blog EVERYDAY, I will do it for so long, and suddenly stop. It’s like I have overdosed on it, and then can’t find anything else to say. So I go from blogging daily, to not blogging for a month. I thing part of blogging is habit, if you get yourself out of the habit of posting, then it is hard to get back into it.

I think that writing 2 blogs a week is a good target. Something that seems a little bit easier to do that blogging every day. But, we’ll see. Hopefully, if I get back into the swing of things, there shouldn’t be too many more blogs about blogging. 🙂

Initial Aspirations

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

When I started this blog, I had many ideas and thoughts of what I would use it for. It would be a creative blog, where I would post images of what I had made, and use it as a promotional tour for my business. In retrospect, I think I aimed a little high.

Firstly because being at college, and struggling through a few years of forced creativity, has lead to me going from one artistic mental block, to another. Secondly, I just am far too scatter brained to make my blog about one thing. I maybe should organise it better, but nothing in my life is very organised, so it maybe wouldn’t reflect ME if it wasn’t a bit of a mess. Some excuse, right?

I have always been an over thinker. A person who seeks importance in the most stupid and trivial things. My interests in things can get intense, but will also suddenly wane after a short period of time. I want to express my love and experience so many different things, that I always find myself looking for ‘something else’. Whilst some things such as favourite bands, movies and books will stay with me, I can’t exclusively care about a favourite thing. I think that liking new things can be a challenge, a challenge that should be welcomed.

Because I try to be interested in so many different things, I find that what I want to talk about changes every day. One day I will want to talk about Benji Madden sneaking into Scotland without my knowledge, the next day I’ll be talking about some political land mine. Whilst this leads to me being very sporadic, I like the idea that I have a place to express my thoughts in a accessible manner.

So whilst my initial plans for this blog haven’t come true, I still am happy with it. I have made this blog my online ‘home’ for the last few years, and I have become very attached to it. I find that WordPress is a great blog host, and find that is the best managed blogging site on the net. Trust me, I have tried almost every blogging site going. I like everything from the multiple platforms you can blog from, to the twitter feed. I think that the simplicity of using the service, has been crucial for me staying here for so long.

I guess I am feeling very retrospective. Whilst the majority of people I know say I waste my time writing a blog, I will always scoff in their faces. If a person has the freedom to express themselves without fear, no matter how they do it, they will never waste their time.